Someone was asking me what I'm going to do for my girlfriend on Valentine's Day just now... Got me thinking.
I honestly cringe at the thought of doing anything even remotely romantic. I never cuddle after sex. I would never hold hands. I'd never go buy a girl flowers. I'd never send those sappy good morning text saying how beautiful she is. None of that.
I've always had women think I have absolutely no compassion towards them, even when I actually did. I've worked on being more attentive and paying attention to other people's lives other than my own throughout the years. My girlfriend today completely understands how I show my affection towards her, but it's never through romantic gestures.
I'm not trying to say I'm better than you, or my way is the right way by any means. I'm genuinely curious as to what goes through your mind when you do this kind of shit. Is it natural.. Do you force yourself to do it till these things become habitual? I'd personally rather cut off my dick then to send those sappy ass text messages or hold hands.
Most Helpful Girl
It can feel cringe for me sometimes too, but it's more of me thinking of it from an outsider's perspective that makes me feel that way. For me, what helps is just thinking more about: "What would make this person that I care so much about feel the best they possibly could" and/or: "What is a physical way (outside of sex lol) that I can show them how much I care about them."
I'm just making my man one of his favorite dinners, for example, and kicking it up. I also wrote him a note (don't make fun of me you cunt lol) basically conveying how much I care about him and such and put it in a card.
As for how you show affection, everyone's different. A lot of the time I show affection by teasing my boyfriend and being an idiot lol, but I have my sappy moments too. Everyone's different1
Most Helpful Guy
Some guys just fall crazy in love and that's just what they want to do. They know that's what she's gonna like so it makes them feel good. There's also an element of "No one else can do this with this girl. I'm the only one" So I think for guys, the whole being sappy thing makes them feel like they are valued by the girl because of how much she might appreciate the flowers, or how excited she is to hold hands with you. Like you got to admit, when you got a girl who's so into you that the act of holding hands, holds romantic value, is pretty sweet. Even if you don't like holding hands. The fact that she would want to do it just to feel closer to you. But I think that's what those gestures do. It's a great question. You could probably spend a whole night debating over this.3
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