Would you be okay with it if your partner doesn't want to share previous relationships and history?

like if you have started dating and want to be in a relationship with the person you are dating, but he/she won't share his/her history...
would you be ok with it? or its important for you to know?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's important for me to know. Not necessarily right away, and not necessarily all at once. But I think sharing your history with someone usually happens organically, as you get to know each other more. Over time, as you become closer, you should be able to share everything with each other. I'd never want to be in a relationship where a part of the other person, or a part of me, has to stay locked away or behind a wall in order for the relationship to go well. True intimacy means knowing, and being known, for all that you are. Successes, failures, dreams, scars, warts and all.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • So here's the thing. I don't know about you, but when I buy a car, even if that shit looks all shiny on the outside, I'm gonna check under the hood to see if there's any damage. I wanna KNOW what I'm getting myself into, both the good and the bad, not just the shiny shit that you put forth to me, cause I sure as hell know that when I buy that car, I'm gonna be with that shit for a while. And that's just my CAR.

    With that said, when I decide to be with someone, you're going to know ME, not just this mask and shiny fake ass exterior that most people like to put forth. It's become very apparent to me, especially from this website, that we like to live in a society full of lies and omission of information, and personally, I think that's pathetic.

    I think most people here cannot handle their past, they run from it, hide it from people, on top of the fact that most people here like to stay blissfully ignorant of their SO's past because they're too mentally weak to handle the information. Which is fine, that's your choice, but I've been alive long enough to know that when you omit information, when you fall in love with an IDEA of a person and not who they REALLY are and what comprises them, you're gonna get a load of surprises when you get further down the road, so it's best you know what you're getting into.

    So for the TL;DR version:

    I would explain my previous relationship history, and if they're not comfortable with sharing theirs ever, that's perfectly fine, we can definitely be friends, but consider any romantic spark between us lost.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 43

  • If you can't share, and refuse to, I assume you have something to hide. It's one thing to not bring it up but to avoid/refuse? No way. Red flag.

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  • Depends on what. Some things I'll understand or respect but when it comes to things like how many people you've fucked and if you slept around then it becomes important. Normal relationship stuff doesn't really matter to me. I've never asked my boyfriend about his ex and their relationship and what they did etc. All I really care about is knowing how my boyfriend sees sex and how many people they've shared themselves with and if they were safe.

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  • I don't think it's important to know somebodies past since you can't judge nobody by it. Instead it is better to focus on your future :) and make the best out of it

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  • I'd be ok with it. I'd be curious, but I'd respect what he does or doesn't say to me. There is always a time and place for that conversation. If we just started dating, I could see that talk being uncomfortable to be in, early on in a relationship situation.

    So that's understandable.

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  • I honestly didn't care, that my boyfriend didn't bring it up and I never asked either. I don't believe in talking about past relationships unless he had trust issues or something like that. But if he won't say anything, I won't ask.

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What Guys Said 36

  • Someone acting like they have something to hide would get my attention!

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  • Anyone that says the past is the past is being dishonest and idealistic. The past is what made us who we are, and can impact who we will be for our entire life. To say that the past is the past is naive and foolish!

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  • I couldn't care either way, honestly if the person doesn't want to talk about it, fair enough, the past is past.

    As for everyone mentioning trust, that doesn't always necessarily come into it, maybe there's nothing interesting about it, or they just want to move on.

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  • yeah i would be ok with it. why would you want them tell you about their past relationships they are their exes for a reason what does they have to do with your relationship with your partner. to me what is it going to solve by telling you about their past relationshiops. the only reason or reason why they should tell you if there is a mid envolved or one of their exes abused them im some sort.

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  • i'd be ok with her keeping aspects of her past relationships secret but would also feel like it's red flags if someone doesn't want to discuss their past at all. like they are hiding something or are ashamed of something

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