Last night my boyfriend brought up to me randomly that some of his old buddies texted him and asked if he wanted to go to a bar with them for someone's birthday. Normally I wouldn't have a problem with my boyfriend going somewhere with friends, but bars make me uncomfortable and I've never met any of these friends before. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years now and he hasn't seen these friends in about 7 years. I feel bad and controlling for not wanting him to go out, but it makes me really uncomfortable and I don't know what to do. He says he isn't going to go now because he saw how it made me feel, but it still bothers me because I feel like I'm holding him back. I should also mention that neither one of us are big drinkers anymore, but he used to be. We both have talked about going to bars before and he said that he didn't think there was a reason for people in relationships to go to bars alone, so it's confusing to me also why his point of view has changed.
Most Helpful Guy
Are the old buddies all male, and is it a bar or a night club? If it's a bar it might just be a guy's night out: clashing beers, talking about hot chicks, watching sports, playing pool/darts... stuff like that -- male bonding ritual. If it's a night club with lots of dancing, it might be more sketchy if you don't tag along.1
- Show AllShow Less
Most Helpful Girl
Of course, I don't see any reason not to be okay with it. It's not like he's a 6 year old who's going off with his friends and you haven't met their parents, you don't need to make sure you know everyone he might possibly interact with, y'know? He's a big boy, he can look after himself and make his own decisions. Also, he'll probably be totally safe, he'll have a group of friends around him which makes him safer than if he was just to go with you. He just wants to spend some time with his old friends, no need to be worried :)0