Little back story:
We dated for a year and a couple of months, he was my first just about everything. After officially breaking up a couple of months later we came back in touch and kinda got back together but I was like big time scared (like I never let people in emotional but I did with him. When we initially broke up it wasn't a bad break up it just happen) I need up saying we should stop talking and that was that. Until a year later before he went off to college he got in touch with our mutual friend and asked how I was doing and when the next time we were hanging out. She told me and said he asked if he could come and I said sure. We hung out the day and were talking and I asked why does he always find his way back in my life and he said be no matter what I always pop up in his head. So right we talked for the last couple of weeks he was still in town and ended up getting in a huge argument about the initial break up. So we stopped talking again. A couple of weeks after him being in school he texted to see how I was doing and stuff. Like 2 days later I found out from Facebook he was in a relationship with some chick from school. The summer he came home and we talked a bit and he went back and said the same bullshit that he said the summer before and that time it made me feel weird so we stopped talking again. We hadn't hung out or anything like that for a while then I found out he had a kid with the girl he met in school. I was kinda hurt but I have not idea why. This weekend we hung out with the mutual friend I was talking about and we had a blasted we catching up. It was really fun. And now I find myself again in my feelings. I'm the person who always needs to be in control but I can't stop the feeling and its killing me!
What is going on with me? How does this always happen? Is there something wrong with me? UGH!!! 😣😥😤😔