Is it cheating if the person does something that they didn't know or assume it would be fine?

First let me say that cheating is based on whatever the couple defines as cheating.

So cheating could be different to every relationship because every relationship has different standards.

Anyways this Girl who has a boyfriend made out with another girl at a party. Eventually she felt bad and then when she told her boyfriend her boyfriend was pretty much like "Oh you made out with a girl? That's ok, I'm cool with that"

Ok so there we go, the boyfriend is ok with his girlfriend making out with other women, so if that's how they want to manage the relationship it's fine.

My problem is that when this women justifies what she did the reason I have a problem with it is because she went to a part and made out with another women without knowing for sure if her boyfriend would be ok with it, or assume he would be ok with it without talking to him first.

And then when she felt guilty and told him she was lucky that he happend to be cool with it... but what if he wouldn't have been cool with it? What would she have done then?

So is it cheating for her to do something without knowing if her boyfriend would be cool with it and just assume and did it anyways, even if by pure luck she happaned to get away with it because he was cool with it?
Bascially my criticism towards her when I told her was "Ok you did what you did but don't you think it was wrong for you to do what you did without knowing if he would be cool with it or not and just did it anyways?"

she thought I was being too judgmental


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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • It would depend, your right, on how it is defined. Cheating, from what I know, is when a member of the relationship goes for another person outside the relationship and would usually not tell the other and would keep on with that relationship, doing this until either got caught and/or was guilty, or from popular use of the word cheating. But I think this would not really be cheating, I mean sure she kissed a girl, but she hasn't gone out and actually gone on dates with her or expanded that into a relationship, it was fleeting. The guy must knew the circumstance of the situation as parties tend to sometimes have alcohol, which makes people go in the moment. So, no, this isn't cheating, but it is a small form of cheating that could have been expanded even more.

    • small kissing is still cheating if the partner is not ok with it

    • Show All
    • Well, you asked the question and I gave an answer. You seem to want justification that it is cheating, and you are getting defensive. Its for you to choose if its cheating as you said for yourself in the description, so don't get angry at me, but instead figure out for yourself how you define cheating and use that and talk to your girlfriend about it. If you don't want it to be cheating, avoid it by telling her such a thing isn't ok, not asking on here and arguing on an opinion that isn't fact.

    • Who the hell said I'm angry, sounds like you're straw manning me.

      Are you getting defensive? No one's arguing, I'm am simply stating my opinion, but I said it's cheating if the partner is not cool with it.

      I am not even talking againts her KISSING I am speaking againts what she did without KNOWING IF HER PARTNER WOULD BE COOL WITH IT OR NOT.

      Not angry, just trying to highlight what I was trying to say

What Guys Said 1

  • "So cheating could be different to every relationship because every relationship has different standards"

    It is cheating until boyfriend confirms their standards


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