In long term 7 year relationship and I need advice?

I need to know why my man would not get a divorce from his ex who he was with before me? It's been seven years!!! Its making me very cold towards my relationship and the way I feel about him. There is no way he still sees her. So I definitely know that's not why. It comes down to him being a cheap person and putting our love on the line just because he doesn't want to spend the money to get it done.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm guessing he doesn't see marriage as a big deal. As you said, he doesn't want to get the divorce done officially.. You also did say that you married young. So yeah, I'm guessing he doesn't think much of marriage. Doesn't mean he doesn't love you though, as we see in the 7 year relationship you have.

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    • Thanks for seeing the silver lining. The world needs more people like u.

    • Thanks for the kind words. I like to look at things in a logical, but positive light.

Most Helpful Girl

  • If you are so inclined for him to get divorce do him the favor and pay it for him. This way he'll no have excuse to be cheap. If he declines, than I would be alarmed.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Cheaper to keep her. She will get alimony, possibly for life in some states, child support and half of everything. In addition he has to pay for a lawyer and/or the divorce paperwork, and trust me lawyers ain't cheap. I'm guessing this is why he hasn't done this yet.

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    • No kids nothing to split. Let me get honestly af here. We have kids together and she has kids with another man. It would cost him 99 dollars to do the divorce

    • If that's all it would cost, and your sure, my answer is?

What Girls Said 2

  • It's cheaper to stay married and who knows maybe at the time he didn't have the money or things were complicated. Then the longer it went on the weirder it would have been to just contact her one day to ask for an official divorce.

    Marriage probably just doesn't mean much to him. It's not a big deal and it's more hassle to get it done officially. Like you said it's probably down to him just being cheap and not seeing it as a big deal. You've been together for 7 years so obviously he loves you. Have you spoken to him about it? Do you want to get married? If you haven't spoken to him about it then it's extremely likely that he has no clue what so ever and sees nothing wrong with it lol.

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    • Oh I've talked to him about it. And we have kids together.

  • Wait….. so you are in a 7 year relationship with a married man…?

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    • Yes but they were not together during the time I met him they had already split up. And I know I sound like a typical dumb bitch saying this. But I gave him the benefit of the doubt thinking he would get the Shit done. We have always had an amazing relationship aside from the fact. And I'm about to leave him because of it. Which sucks. but I can't waste my time anymore

    • It sounds like they're still married on paper, but aren't effectually together, which means yeah, he's still married.

      I thought this myself.

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