DISCLAIMER: HE SAYS HE HAS COMMITMENT ISSUES ON THE FIRST DATE TO PROTECT MY FEELINGS, WHAT IS THE DEAL?



He is a super kind gentleman. Caring, considerate etc... but warned me early on that he has low self esteem, trust and commitment issues with himself. That he is not interested in a serious relationship right now. He still is recovering from breaking up with his girlfriend of 8 years and apparently she was very insecure and jealous which put him off.

Now I believe him. Its just been a one or two date thing, and I told him that he was a bit scary because he went on about his trust issues because he said he wanted to make sure he didn't hurt me. So I suggested that I remain distant and not date him because if he doesn't want to hurt me, then it sounds like that's a definite possibility.

He got really emotional (weird because he says he is not very emotional) and said that it's up to me but that he is so great, and he likes me very much. I just need to accept the fact that right now he is not ready for a serious relationship.

I was like - er.. it's just been 1 date! Chill out.

I really like him and would like to continue dating him, but should I be worried? It's not like I'm looking for commitment right now, I barely have spent any proper time with him, but is it sweet that he is being so upfront, or scary? I can't figure it out.

He said that he just wanted to be open and honest so that I wouldn't get any nasty surprises later, and that from now on there will be no other surprises. Does that mean he actually sees something long term? It's like he says is afraid of commitment, but talks about his emotions so eloquently and openly, I wonder why he bothers. He also keeps saying I'm really good and sweet and he is not as nice as me.

He also says he wants love, a deep enduring love but is scared he doesn't have the ability for it.

help please :)
Thanks


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  • He indirectly told you he doesn't want to date you

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    • Ok, but then why does he go out of his way to come see me, take me out to dinner, tell me he turns down other invitations for me, and texts me for hours everyday?

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