Why do people assume nice guys are boring/unattractive or have nothing else to them?

Why do people assume nice guys are boring/unattractive or have nothing else to them?

On GAG, people always talk about how nice guys are not fakers - that they are genuinely nice, etc. - but nobody is ever bringing up the fact that not all nice guys are boring/unattractive.

For example, if a guy asks a question on here like, "I am a nice guy, why can't I get a girlfriend", everyone says "because you just rely on your niceness to get a girlfriend and everything about you is uninteresting and unappealing". How do they know all of this to be true and why do they automatically assume such?

Another example: on a question, "Why do modern men hate women so much? What are we doing wrong then?", a girl posted, "They expect hot girls with their ugly ass faces and if rejected it's because they are "too nice" "

How does she know these guys have ugly ass faces?

Note: by attractive, I mean the physical OR psychological features a woman might find attractive. So a guy that does not meet social conventions determining attractive, might still meet the individual woman's criteria but people would still say something like, "well, that nice guy got rejected because he was unattractive to her", which is not always true.

Updates:
"Cause being too nice generally means you are a pushover, I don't think girls find that attractive/exciting."

why assume that being nice makes you a pushover? in my opinion, a truly nice guy takes steps to change the world in the way he sees it should be, otherwise his motivation to be nice is not that powerful.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't really get what people mean when call a guy nice. Why is he nice for you? Because he is boring? It seems like it's not about being nice, but they just got a random adjective to describe a guy who is not appealing to you. Don't know if it'll make sense for you

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    • if you want a positive outcome for other people, as those people would determine a positive outcome (read: you are trying to get the best possible outcome for EVERYONE including yourself) then I would say that is as close to an objective definition as you will get, because you already factored into account subjective idiosyncracies.

Most Helpful Guy

  • If being nice is your primary positive attribute then it is quite likely that you aren't all that interesting to other people. It is not by any means a bad trait to possess but it isn't something that makes people want to shag you.

    So basically, if there is such an assumption frequently recurring than I would assume it is due to the fact that more interesting people will not usually identify primarily with being nice.

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    • well hang on, if somebody lists a positive attribute of their own, should we assume that this is their ONLY attribute?

      for example, if a guy comes online and says, I have attractive qualities, why can't I get a girl, what if people suddenly assume he's talking about things like, that guy has a buff physique, or that guy has a lot of money and that he's trying to attract women with those things alone, disregarding the qualities he has on the inside?

      do you see the dilemma that kind of guy faces? because now he has to emphasise he is such and such of this attribute, without being a little bit of another quality, etc. and more than likely people will still make erroneous assumptions.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • nice guys aren't boring tf i've always liked nerdier or nicer guys

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    • alright, but now you're making a separate assumption: that nice guys are also nerds. you like nerds, I get it but this isn't true either.

    • no i meant nerdier OR nicer guys i was stating my opinion along with my other preferences i don't think all nice guys are nerds. and i'm sorry maybe i worded that wrong.

    • nah you didn't word it wrong, I was just checking. cool 8)

What Guys Said 1

  • Cause being too nice generally means you are a pushover, I don't think girls find that attractive/exciting.

    And being called a "nice guy" means it's your best quality, when really it should be a basic expectation.

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    • why assume that being nice makes you a pushover? in my opinion, a truly nice guy takes steps to change the world in the way he sees it should be, otherwise his motivation to be nice is not that powerful.

      for example, I think of myself as a nice guy, but I do not think of that as my best or only quality. I still take steps to improve myself and change the world around me.

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    • yep i get what you are saying

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