Guys, Why isn't he interested?

I have been dating a guy for the last 5 months who l have known through mutual friends for over 5 years. I think he is the most incredible guy in the world. I was really surprised when he showed an interest in me at a pool party. He made the first move and we saw each other occasionally for a while. Then from end of November to early Jan I saw him at least twice a week. I did think that it was too good to be true and last week he told me he doesn't think it's going anywhere because his feelings for me aren't growing. I am really hurt but appreciate his honesty and also admire that he had the courage to tell me this in person. After a few days of lying in bed heartbroken, he text me to say he still wants to be friends which I would like because I adore him and want him in my life no matter what. However last night we went out with friends and we danced together, kissed a lot and I stayed at his and we cuddled all night and fooled around a little. He doesn't date other people, he's never picked girls up in bars before, he's religious so doesn't have sex. I can't work out why he doesn't want to be with me. None of his friends understand it either because he does have feelings for me but just doesn't see it going anywhere. But why is he still treating it like a relationship? I don't understand why maybe he's a commitment phobe?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I had a similar situation with a girl who likes me. some religious beliefs don't allow you to be together with an unbeliever. it's possible even though he likes you, he knows that on a spiritual level you two are totally different and that he couldn't marry you.
    I recently had to turn down a girl that I was attracted to and really really like because we are of totally different faiths and I know that would cause problems if we were to get married. (yes except for this one issue, she was totally marriage material.)
    if you were to accept his faith that could make a huge difference.

    but at the same time you need to stop fooling around with a guy you know doesn't want a serious relationship with you. he was honest and upfront about that, but by letting him cuddle and fool around etc you are very much proving yourself to be lower value than he originally thought. so don't do any more of that.

    you can either join his faith, or you should move on.
    take it from me, I really did like this girl, but I knew I could never marry her. the only difference between me and this guy is she invited me over and I found a very nice way to say I couldn't make it lol
    always stay high-value ;) but yeah if she changed faiths, we might be engaged today haha.


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What Guys Said 1

  • try going on a trip together or spend the day doing something adventurous like skydiving or jetskying it'll bring up good feelings


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