How can I tell my girlfriend to stop smoking in a "nice" way?

I have been dating my girlfriend for 2 years now and everything has been perfect. Since December she "picked up" on smoking and i dislike smoking. I told her many times to stop, but she keeps doing. It's cold right now where we're from and i told her i dont want her smoking in my car. She gets mad cause i make her smoke outside in the cold and says im rude to her.

This seems to be hurting our relationship. Im not commanding and literally let her do her own thing. But i just cannot stand smoking and it kills the mood. I through out one of her cigarette from her mouth and well it turns out that did not go as planned. What is a nice way of telling her to stop?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You need to tell her this is a deal breaker. It's ok to have boundaries and deal breakers and sometimes other people are going to think they are stupid or ridiculous. You still have every right to have them and to leave someone because of it. If smoking is so important to her then she can continue to smoke with another partner that doesn't mind. You have to let her know that you won't be sticking around if she continues though. If this is really that important then you have to communicate that to her. I have the feeling it's not going to go over well though if she's already called you rude after you made the reasonable request that she not smoke in your car...

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    • it is a deal breaker for me. It seems like she started in December when she met some new girls in her class. Surely she can stop it. I told her idc if it's cold, you smoke outside, not inside my car. I will tell her this though and see from there.

Most Helpful Guy

  • It is your fault that you let her start smoking in the first place. Your relationship is not worth it if she does not quit smoking. she will die a lot earlier and before that she will have health problems. You either make her quit or you breakup with her.

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What Girls Said 3

  • You can't make someone do something, they have to want to do it on their own. However if you don't want her smoking in the car thats completely fine its your car after all and smoke lingers. Just tell her you hate to see her putting toxins in her body however you'd appreciate it if she did it less when you're around.

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  • I understand because my boyfriend smokes, though he was already smoking when I met him.
    There's not much you can do to make her stop. You have every right to ask her not to smoke around you and she's the rude one for asking to smoke in your car.

    The problem with smoking is that unless she really want to stop, she never will.

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    • She seemed to change every since she met some new girls in her program, i noticed that. I dont like these girls. For me, i cannot stand smoking, when im around smoke, my lungs hurt and i get a headache lol. But in all seriousness i want the best for her and just needs to quit this.

    • I totally understand. I don't smoke and always though it would be a deal breaker. Turned out, it wasn't but It took me three years to finally make my boyfriend smoke outside.
      As I said, you can't make her stop but you can definitely tell her to not smoke around you. She has to respect that.

    • true, i might just tell her it's a dealbreaker

  • I've gone through with this, I picked up smoking and my boyfriend wasn't happy... after months of arguing he overlooked it as long as i hid it from him and never did it around him... if she's perfect in other ways then you could maybe overlook this one thing. But ask her to not do it around you and especially not in the car!

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    • She is perfect in every other way, but the smoking is beginging to be a turn off. I love her so much and we never argued much in the 2 year i been dating her but now the arguments began cause of this. I mean i would like her to quit tbh

What Guys Said 1

  • Let her smoke and mind your own fucking business

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