Does it always feel like other people have an easier time dating than you do?

I'm 21 now, and I haven't had a boyfriend since I was 13. I have friends that make it seem like getting a boyfriend is problem at all. One friend's always been in relationships since she was 13. Another friend just dumped her baby daddy and a month later found the love of her life. And I'm sitting here losing my mind (I'm kidding) because I've been trying to find a boyfriend for three years and I'm still struggling.
Anyone else feel like that?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I couldn't agree more! I am 30, and have had just 3 relationships till now, none of them lasting beyond a few months, and each being years apart. And I had my first relationship at 23 (yeah, I was a late bloomer).

    But it doesn't bother me anymore. I have social anxiety and am socially awkward, which rules out me being able to approach women. And women want 'confident' men, nothing less (as if confidence can be manufactured).

    I'm not bitter, but I I have also realised I should stop trying to do something which is really hard for me (dating) and focus on other priorities in life. 😊

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think other people sacrifice more than me and that is why they date more often then me - my cousin would work out 3 times a day and she would eat extremely calorie and spend 12 hours a week shopping for clothes - she got asked out about 5 times a week. I was a lot lazier than her. I had another friend who would spend over $200 dollars every couple of weeks on a dinner party where she invited all of her best looking and richest friends over because she wanted to impress the guy she liked and made him believe that she was good enough for him. I know other girls who walk around in high heeled shoes for 4 hours a day cause they want guys to notice them - by no means do I think my dating life is harder than their's!

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    • 12 hours a week shopping sounds very expensive and time consuming.
      Working out i know can be good for you genaly health wise regardless of dating but still I haven't ever taken it as seriously as her and i played competitive sports for a number of years.
      My sister played at a higher level and my brother about the same and both took it much less seriously than that.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 17

  • Yes it really do. Some guys have sex or find a girlfriend faster than I can make friends with them. I'm like woooow. I'm struggling finding a girlfriend myself. It's one of things like you just want someone to hold at night or talk to without feeling judged.

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  • I honestly feel pretty lucky. I'm extroverted and a natural flirt so it's always sort of come naturally. You're 21 though. Still young af. Just give it time.

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  • Well, what do you do to find a boyfriend? Do you do online dating? Do you approach guys and ask them out?

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  • Yes sometimes I think it is impossible finding someone. I'm sure one day I'll find a girl but feels Like i won't haha

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  • My friends keep saying its so easy, i've looked for 12 years and never had anyone. Im so sick of being single, but i can't do anything if women all give me the same answer.

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  • What I hate is that there is a dumb douchebag who is getting laid almost every week end, and then people tell me girls like smart gentlemen while he is the complete opposite...

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    • Maybe he's good looking that's y?

    • @BeHappyCloud Maybe but so many people tell me that personality matters and when I see this, I have some doubts to say the least...

    • Lol well realistically speaking, we do care for appearances. You just gotta look in the right pool of people.

  • Yup life is not fair. And I'm fucked with no fault of mine. Though I have hooked up with three women (in favourable circumstances) I am still looking for something meaningful.

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  • The grass is always greener on the other side.

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  • Yeah, i feel the same way you do i been single for 13 years now it sucks.

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  • Yes i highly agree with you on this one , been since 2004 when i last dated.

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  • At least you had one >)))

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  • Yep, I don't understand it.

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  • Yes because I'm a 5'4 man. Even that's too short for women that are 4'11.

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  • It's always subjective but I know there's people i have it better than and worse than.

    My dating scenario has been tough. I've been able to get a lot of dates and a few hookups here and there but never had a long term/serious relationship. It just goes to show that quality is more important than quantity.

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  • It's cause I'm not very attractive and I have a shitty negative attitude though, so it's cool I got it figured out. I just don't give a fuck it is what it is. These days if you don't have the looks or you don't have the money, you don't have a chance.

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  • That's a very natural common thought I believe, be glad that as a girl the burden does not fall on your shoulders of having to be the initiator

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  • That's just how life is for some people.

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What Girls Said 13

  • I have to say yes I feel other people have a much easier time dating than I do. I have friends who only went on like 2-4 dates from online dating when they met their husbands. Whereas I have been on there for years and have only found heartbreak. It sucks, and I wish things were different for me.

    I am not sure what it is, other than luck that made them find their SO's. I wish I knew the secret.

    I've been trying to figure it out for YEARS! Not sure what is going on :S

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  • Lol don't worry about it man. There's loads of girls who are like that. I like to think that we are just taking our time to find the right dude, and not waste energy on others. The one thing you can do now is to just stay positive and not lose your charm. ☺️

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  • I'm ill, single for 2 years, live with my parents, unemployed and live in the most deprived town in england... so yeah. It feels everyone I know has an easier time than me.

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  • No... I am a rarity. I am engaged to my middle school sweetheart.

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  • Yes because I'm a 300lb repulsive freak.

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  • yes totally

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  • nope

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  • Yes. For me it's because I'm awkward and weird/weird looking.

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  • jupp! im 21, never had a boyfried, never had sex... i'll be 22 soon.. and i honestly didn't think i'll reach this age and have never had any successfull relationship/serious dating.. It seems like dating is super easy for anyone else though...

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  • No...

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  • No your not I'm 23 and I still haven't found a guy that won't hurt me and I haven't found that relationship yet where it just won't fall through the cracks with having the guy stick around when things get bad and not just be there for the good.

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  • Considering I never had a boyfriend... Yes they seems to have it easier

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  • I had my first boyfriend when i was 22. Nobody was even flirting with me, or caring about me. All my friends around me were changing boyfriends like i m changing my underwear everyday. I broke up with my first boyfriend when i was 24 due to personal differences and different city/career choices. Since then i am single. I feel like a total loser in every aspect of my life. All my friends slutting around with 20-30 men now already got boyfriends, got married, got babies. I am always the third wheel. I am turning to 27 next week, had just 1 sex partner (first boyfriend) in my life until 2 months ago. I recently found someone I am interested in and slept with him on our third date. But seems like he is just interested in sex and nothing more than that. I cut him off to not hurt myself. Looking for people to date, getting on tinder, bumble, okcupid... No luck. I gave up actually back when i was 20, even before i had my first boyfriend, and tried to improve myself, my work, my body, my mind by reading, working out, studying, doing my job in the best possible, traveling, learning new languages... I dont know girl. I am depressed. It is 3 days before my period and i am in that rebellion mood again coming here and writing all my feelings to a stranger because nobody around me understands me and they give me stupid advice like "love comes when you dont work for it or when you dont expect it". "Dont worry your time will come" etc. etc. I am scared that i will end my life on the day that I turn to 27, and probably it is better to write on my gravestone "Loved but never loved back"

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    • You really dont need to beat yourself up or feel bad about it. 1/3rd of the western world is single including me. on top of that your single by choice since you dated relatively recently and you broke it off because you thought it was just about sex and you didn't want that.
      Also you have a job and friends.
      Exercise is the most effective natural way to combat depression do that in place of dating sights and get a good balance of protein and minerals so your functioning.
      It's much more important that your happy than if your in a relationship or single.

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    • Ok I can't really say anything helpful then so good luck.

    • @sedrftvgyhujik Really good advice! That's awesome that you took the time to reach out like that.

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