He won't kiss me on the third date - Is he unsure about his feelings? Or unsure about me?

I had a third date with a guy I met online - we have great chemistry and great bond. I'm falling for him fast basically.

He's Indian and I am Chinese, and tonight we had a conversation that made me have doubts on what he is thinking, or if it is my problem. He has been the serious type, always talking about family and settling down, getting married etc. He kept saying how he doesn't know why I like him because he is a boring person, whereas he thinks I am the coolest and most awesome girl he knows, and he doesn't want to lose me until he is 100% sure to make a move. He doesn't want to act on his instincts because it is all there, he is really interested in me, and if he listened to his instincts, he would kiss me right there and then (he was holding my hand for the first time in his car). But he is fighting with his logic and listening to his logic.

He doesn't want it to be a 6month thing, he is in it for the long term, but he wants to be 100% sure because he cares about me as he did ask if he kissed me tonight, and told me next week that it wasn't going to work out, whether I would continue talking to him. And my answer was no, I need time apart because my intentions were to date you and not be platonic friends.

He told me his mum showed him a photo of an Indian girl for arranged marriage, he immediately said no and asked what she thought about a Chinese girl, and his mum asked what my name was, which he told and she said how her grandkids will be really cute since they will be mixed.

At the same time, he told me how he was meant to be going on a date with a girl next weekend, but he will cancel it. It has made me doubt and in a way void everything he said before about being "serious" with me - since I thought telling parents is kinda a big thing, and his mates know about me.

What is he doing? Why is he unsure? Is it my problem? What should I do. I am so confused - I don't want to fall for him even more, when in the end he might pull out because he is unsure.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Probably unsure about you, whether it's OK to. Go ahead and kiss him first!

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    • I told him I hoped we would kiss tonight, but he still wouldn't! He kept saying he doesn't want to go with his instincts... :(

  • Omfg Chinese girls like Indian guys?

    That's my dream

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    • Haha yes! I recently found that my type were Indian guys 😅But I don't know what I am doing wrong here... or if he isn't serious at all?

    • Show All
    • What kind of red flags are going up? I don't know much about dating in Indian culture... at first I thought their parents would be against dating outside of his culture, but he reassured me that he wouldn't spend time with me every week, if it was a problem.

      He's a listener kind of person, I tend to talk a lot and have to keep asking him questions, he tells me that if I knew him more, I might not like him... but why won't he share things about himself? I am always sharing about myself. He stays in touch with me regularly too, so I was quite surprised when he told me he had a date planned for next week... so felt like there was a problem on my end...

      He has more dating experience than me, and his mates all know about me as his mates only date Indian and are interested knowing that he is dating me who is Chinese. But I am worried that it's all talk and he's going to back out since he said he is really interested in me and loves what I do etc, but he won't act upon his instincts

    • Culture, he seems modern so it doesn't matter.

      Red flags are that he is experienced, dating other girls, one that you know of and has some sort of issues he is not opening up about, insecurity or a dark secret?

      Just be careful...

What Girls Said 1

  • Just takes it slow

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