I think I'm being fetishized and not taken seriously?

I'm a South American girl studying in Europe. I've been here in Karlsruhe on a scholarship for around a year and a half, and I still have another year and a half to go. It's a small city and as expected most people here are white/German. The thing is, I'm in my early twenties, so it's natural that I'm dating/sexually active right now. But the impression I get from guys here is that I'm just an overly fetishized latina they're gonna brag about fucking when they're middle-aged and miss their youth years. For example I'm not ever introduced to parents, and even though I don't normally put much value into that, whether we like it or not that kinda shit makes us feel validated.

I don't know if I'm making sense but all this makes me feel really bad about myself... I just feel like it dehumanizes me in a way... Am I reading too much into things? Are guys generally like that, or is it really a fetishizing problem?
The way I worded this made it sound like I'm sleeping with the entire country hahahah I don't think I am though? All of them have been men I dated for a while, then it ended in sex. But as I mentioned none of them took me all that seriously and that was it. I've only had sex more than twice with 3 of them. But yeah what you guys are saying makes sense. I think the fact that I'm only temporarily living here also aggravates the situation... but thanks!


Most Helpful Guy

  • I dont think its a fetish, i think youve just been unlucky, now i dont know the caliber of these guys, but if thats how their coming across the you need to change it if it bothers you like this, if you continue you'll just lose the rest of your self esteem, but honestly, i do think your rushing a bit, your somewhere new, i can't even image what thats like and how you cope but stressing on this isn't the way, if anything you need to enjoy the time your there, instead of getting wrapped up in your love affairs


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What Guys Said 5

  • I'm not sure if "fetishized" is the right word, but, as a Latina, you are very rare in Germany and, being rare and obviously so, many young men will be attracted to you. It the same sort of problem blondes have in the Middle East and especially South Asia and East Asia.

  • The problem...

    - your choice of men
    - you allow it and can not allow it
    - filter out men better
    - don't be sexual too early
    - focus on connecting

    You can't control others but you can certainly take charge of your own actions

  • You have the power as the woman to decide who you sleep with, so don't blame the guys for wanting to bang you if you make yourself available. As far as fetishizing no in general most guys don't, they might think "Wow her tan skins hot" but that's where it ends.

    Maybe you should try a bit harder for a serious relationship, you can't expect a guy to introduce you to parents and all that if you just met and you are casually hooking up

  • Stop sleeping around? Try getting to know the person first...

  • Then stop sleeping around lmao

    Just because you're in your early twenties doesn't mean you have to be a slut


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