Am I to hard to handle in a relationship?

Okay so my boyfriend said I am difficult at times. I think it's because I'm hard headed, stubborn, and I repeat some things a lot. Also because i don't trust other females around him, or that talk to him. Another thing would be that i don't want him out with his friends late. I ask him to be home safe and sound before 10pm because he lives in a bad area and those crazy people driving at night (he drives too). At times i think i don't deserve a relationship because all of them have failed due to me. advice or anything. (Dont be cruel)


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You do seem like you try to control a bit too much and I can't imagine that it makes your life any easier. Not only will it put your partner's guard up, as nobody likes to feel accused or mothered, it will also stress you out. It's tiring trying to control everything all of the time, particularly when they are things that you can't really control. Sometimes you have to learn to be able to let things happen and trust in the people around you, particularly in your partner. For instance, it doesn't matter what females around him might do, it only matters what HE does. You say that you don't trust the other females around him but if he is resolute on being faithful then they can't do shit to change that. If he cheated it wouldn't be their fault, it would be HIS fault.

    As for not wanting him to be out with his friends late, he's a grown up. Your concerns are understandable but you can't wrap people in cotton wool. You could have him home before 10pm every night and he could still get hurt or injured, such is the random nature of life.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Based on your descriptions you do sound incredibly difficult sorry. Very controlling and insecure, but if you can recognise those things you can work on them. All of them are about your feelings and needs, not about his and if your feelings of being worthy of the stemming from previous failed relationships don't make the same mistakes.
    How other girls behave around him isn't an issue - how he reacts to them is and if HE is trustworthy enough to be in a relationship with then it doesn't matter who talks to him. He's a grown man, if he wants to stay out past 10pm then let him be. His safety is his responsibility if you're worried about him ask him to take a few precautions and to send you a text when he gets in so you won't stress.
    I understand that you want to be in control, but changing that perspective into being in control of your own emotions instead of your boyfriends life is going to result in a far healthier relationship

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What Guys Said 6

  • Assuming your boyfriend is young especially, it tends to help not to get in between him and his independence too much. You have to trust the guy to be safe and to not go for other girls.

    And that trust could be violated but it's less likely to be violated if there's trust, as counter-intuitive as that sounds. Qualities like loyalty and devotion are better inspired, when he wants you more than anyone else, rather than demanded. If you become a drag and a burden to him, other girls are going to become more interesting and your biggest fears could be realized.

    It helps to become comfortable with yourself and also have your own degree of independence.

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  • I will be cruel to a certain degree on telling you because people like you need to hear the brutal truth so they can change their toxic ways.

    You are not ready to be in a relationship at all. You give your boyfriend 0 level of trust but he's also an idiot for not dealing with this problem properly which is break up with you so you can handle your own issues. Don't be a selfish bitch because you are being one right now. Your best bet is to be single for a while until you can control your hormones and have trust in your boyfriend. You have some issues that you believe getting into a relationship will solve but your insecurities and problems carry over to your partner. That is as selfish as you can get as a person when you bring problems like that to a relationship. you're obviously too insecure to be in a relationship but you already knew that. Either keep your insecurities in your head and believe nothing will happen or let your relationship blow up.

    Always rememeber whIle you're still insecure or a new insecurity comes up, you are not ready for a relationship. Insecure people and I'm one myself shouldn't be dating, getting close to people or getting into a relationship. Why be that selfish to someone else especially someone you want to love.

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  • You sound very demanding. There has to be trust built in the relationship. If there isn't, why be in a relationship? If you want to control something, get a dog. Remember, you are not his mother, and he will act accordingly. If you treat him as an adult, he will act as an adult. If you treat him as a child, he will act very childish.

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  • Try to be less stubborn and more open minded and amiable

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  • it sounds like you need to learn to trust your boyfriend more...
    I'm sure you can learn that though, so no worry! :)

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  • Yes, you're too difficult and unless you change each successive guy will seek to escape your burden

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