How do I fix this?

When I was 14, I met a girl that originally was my friend, turned soulmate. We were inseparable, dated for a year and a half, I was stupid and fucked around with other girls (was 16) and well I screwed it up. We got back together, and after about 6-7 months she had to move to Florida. It destroyed me. I was in bed all the time, never went to school, got into drugs, picked up smoking and almost ruined my life. Note that I've got anxiety and chronic depression, and this certainly didn't help. I also went into self harm because of it... It sounds drastic but she was literally the one light in my life at the time. After she moved we continued a long distance relationship for 2 1/2 years, and in those years we still kept a somewhat strong communication with each other... And hell, she helped me discover who I was and sort of, in a way helped me find that I was Trans. She was my rock. but I couldn't deal with being away from her, the connection and touch I craved I couldn't get, so I started accepting the fact that I was never gonna see her again, and we split up for good. Now it's been some time since that, about a year.. I've had a multitude of relationships since her and every single one has been empty, or at least felt like it. I got sort of close with one girl, but nothing compares to the way I felt with her. Im over my ex, and I know that. I rarely think about her anymore... But I just can't seem to make any sort of connection with another human being. I can have sex and be ok with it, but any sort of loving relationship I can't handle... Like to the point where I don't want them around. I'd rather be alone then be with anyone else romantically, and it's friggin horrible because I want that connection again! The way it feels when you're with that person and it just feels RIGHT. Like, yes, this is who I want for the rest of my life.. And I can't seem to get even remotely close to that. Is there a way to fix this, or am I stuck this emotionally cut off?


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What Girls Said 1

  • you're feeling this way probably because she was your 1st love plus she helped you to through your hard times so there was a really strong connection. You should stop comparing every girl to her


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