I never get approached by guys?

Is it because of my looks or am I just not approachable? I thought most girls get approached by guys but I never do. Even on dating sites I get a lot of messages but when it comes to guys actually meeting up with me they never follow through. I don't know what I'm doing wrong so any help would be appreciated :)


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Most Helpful Guy

  • As an old married guy, I have a bit of experience from a guy's POV.

    A woman should be both attractive and approachable.
    But if she wants to major on just one, she should strive to be approachable.

    Most young ladies need to tone it down with makeup and dressing wise. A woman in her early twenties looks plenty good enough to attract a guy already, so excessive "war paint" is really unnecessary and looks fake. Most (decent) guys want a woman they can trust and who isn't "high maintenance" or looks trashy. There's no need to look perfect. In my mind a woman's desire to look perfect, above all else, shows a wrong set of priorities.
    A nice smile always helps and a woman who is genuinely kind (to people who can't repay her) is always a approachable. "Flaws" like glasses or braces or a bigger than average nose can almost be endearing and shouldn't be viewed as a negative, but might "prove" you're not out of his league. Likewise, shyness, unless excessive, is a big plus.
    I hope things work out for you.

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    • How are glasses a flaw? Haha I think they look good on a lot of people

    • I said "flaw" (notice the quotes) as in perceived flaw.
      In other words, she or others might see them as a flaw, but I don't.
      My wife wears glasses.
      I think they are majorly attractive and make a girl more approachable.
      I have a poll on the subject (inspired by your question).

Most Helpful Girl

  • You look intimidating I think... How you present yourself out there on the street makes a big difference. Do you smile or do you keep a resting bitch face/frown? Do you walk confidently? Are your arms crossed? If so open them.

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    • Well I don't frown all the time that's just my natural neutral face haha. I don't know how to change that?

    • Well just look in the mirror and find a neutral face that doesn't look too serious. So when you're in town and you look around, keep that face (of course doesn't guarantee a guy, but makes a difference). Also when you look at guys be sure to smile at them so you seem approachable.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 22

  • You can also approach them yourself!

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  • Maybe it's because of your demeanor. If you're shy or quiet then some guys may get a false impression that you're aloof or stuck up so they don't bother.

    If it's not that then they're probably intimidated or assume that you're already taken. If you're interested in a guy, give him clear-cut signals for him to approach.

    Or you could just take the initiative and approach guys yourself. In the olden days, it may have seem slutty but this is 2017 - it's more than acceptable for women to approach men.

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  • I doubt it has anything to do with your looks. You pretty. Most men on dating sites are simply looking to get laid. If they figure you're not easy, then the odds are they will run. Also, your body language might get in the way. Someone who appears too aggressive or closed off or uninterested and cold is hard to approach.

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  • possibly the "resting bitch/psycho face" syndrome... had problems with that

    just chill, smile whenever you feel even slightly better than neutral

    and don't hesitate to explore further when it comes to haircuts, makeup, and clothing until you find what fits you and your personality the best

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  • www.court-records.net/.../miles-crossed(c).gif

    If that's how you look the majority of the time, then it's not a good one. Try smiling and giving subtle hints of interest. Guys will then have move incentive to approach you.

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  • In social situations just think of yourself as an on the fly ice breaker, sure it'll take time to get in the groove but your life will definite be all the more fulfilling. Just keep talking to people instead of focusing on Men you'd prefer in your life

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  • ''resting bitch/psycho face" syndrome''
    If i see a girl with this I assume:
    - She does not want to me talked to or even looked at.
    - She may have that because she thinks i'm going to go up to her.
    - she has high standards.
    - she is bitchy inside.

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    • I can't help that's what my natural face looks like though unless I go around smiling all the time haha then I'd look crazy

    • I agree. Smile would help.

    • Yeah that's what is stopping you from being approached then. Seriously if i'm near a girl and i see a bitch face i think that is aimed at me. Smile at guys you like... you don't have to smile 24/7 :D

  • Maybe you're intimidating them because of your looks and atitude, I'm not sure if it is the case, but if you just sit there waiting, people may not get closer because they don't think you're waiting for anything or they think you must be already taken, etc. Try being more friendly and it may help.

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  • Are you friendly? I guess girls are kinda dangerous to approach... especially if you are kinda giving them that look... you get what I mean?
    And I've never been approached by girls too. I'm shy and can't approach a girl. I thought the other way could work haha.

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  • It's probably because they are shy because they think your beautiful (: a lot of guys get shy of beautiful women

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    • Yep. I can immediately think of a gorgeous woman who I've known for a couple years. I run into her once or twice a week at work. I still can't get past saying hello and continuing to walk down the hall. She's just so damn beautiful I can't handle it.

  • Guys are more bold online. Try making eye contact with guys in public and see if it makes any difference.

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  • Probably cause they end up connecting better with someone else

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  • Probobly too scared to approach if they dont do it, you approach them. Also how is your personality like? Loud, intimadating or like queit or shy.

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  • It's not true that most girls get approached. If a girl is good looking most guys will be too shy to approach. It might be your personality. My suggestion is to approach guys yourself

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  • Hi I'm Matt

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  • You look beautiful maybe is the way you behave that makes others be vulnerable or unantung to date you. Nowadays it's hard to give advice based on short terms rather then the whole storry

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  • No there are lot of guy's that are actually affraid of approaching a female. a lot of guy's don't want to be shut down. Me personally I would approach a female even if I think I would get shut down.

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  • but your so beautiful and good kind of heart you have..

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  • Whatever it is, it has to be something other than looks.

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  • I get the same but im a guy

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  • It's not your looks, you probably look unapproachable, sometimes a nice looking girl intimidates a lot of guys

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  • You should rather ask yourself, Why don't you approach guys?

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    • Yeah you're right I could but I'd be really nervous

    • the guys get nervous as well, everyone does. that's really not an excuse to leave all the burden on men.

What Girls Said 4

  • Hmmm... could be many things. First appearances do matter sadly... what kind of outfit do you usually wear? Especially while on dates?

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  • it happens there may be lots of reasons behind it

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  • From your photo, looks are your last concern. I think they are intimidated by you...

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  • Okay I'm sorry but the unapproachable thing is something ugly girls tell themselves to feel better. Most girls do get approached a lot. It's probably either your looks, your weight or your social circle.

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    • Well I dont think im ugly. . . Maybe not the best looking out there but not ugly

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