How do you approach and talk to women your attracted to when you're shy?

I am 27 and never had a girlfriend and I think it is due to me not approaching women EVER in any setting. Usually when I'm in a place with females I find attractive I kind of place myself slightly near them but not in a creepy way. Then I never make the move to talk to them. If I do talk to them it is because of a mutual friend that we have. I know I'm attractive to women through what friends tell me what they hear. But when the time comes to talk to women I just freeze up.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I had to persue my fiance cause he was super shy! Just take a deep breath and i promise you more than half the girls aren't gonna bite your head off:) the only thing she can say thats bad is no but ik it hurts! Like the other guy said, kind of go in knowing that there may be a chance of rejection and hopefully you won't get hurt at all but to protect yourself and feelings! If they say no dont take it personal because they may be going thorugh something themselves!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Im in the same position as you. I've experienced this. If an attractive woman comes over to me and starts the conversation im completely fine, not nervous at all. But i can't seem to be the one who initiates conversations, not just with hot women but most people. I have read that the reason we tend to freeze up is because we are outcome dependent, as in we want to get something from her like her phone number, a date, a one night stand. So if we remove that and just have a conversation with them then it removed the pressure. Im yet to do this though.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Being polite and behaving like a gentleman goes a long way towards talk to ladies or getting them to initiate conversation. Good luck!

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  • try to start convo on social media

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  • Well considering I have this problem as well, just walk up and ask her to go to coffee.

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  • The best therapy for you will be ballroom/C&W dance lessons - no partner required to join + lessons force "change partners" to accelerate learning.

    Of course you'll try to stiff arm this idea and have no clue the depth of a perfect solution is for you, so... good luck with your other solutions.

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  • Take the pressure off... look at it as either way it goes at least you tried no regrets! I rather be turned down and know then not be and always wonder what could have been have I been able to woman-up.

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  • Pick up girls in a nightclub. That'll upgrade your game.

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What Guys Said 14

  • You just gotta do it, there's really no science to it. Just go up to them and talk. The more you talk to them, the easier it will be to approach. You can start by doing it with friends, to get used to it, but eventually you'll have to do it on your own.

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  • Dont chase what you can't have rather work hard for what you can achieve.

    Do you really think someone will want a 27 y/o guy who never date. Besides there are too many variables in relation and you cannot train for this. Focus on other thing mate : sports art music.

    You will be better of giving up that imho.

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  • A simple place to start is a conversation pattern of Neutral comment/positive Observation.

    For example.

    You "sure is busy here today..."
    Her "yup"
    You "Nice tattoo,"

    And work from there. Her response and willingness to share will let you know if she is interested in further talk.

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  • Just act like you known them from the past. Say stuff like "Hey what's going on" Introduce yourself. And ask them question about how was their day etc. Just be confident and relax.

    Also make sure you feel the attractions between the two of you. If it doesn't feel right and comfortable don't pursue it. You'll end up looking stupid.

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  • Do it with the mindset of getting rejected. So after you get rejected you will be fine. In the same time you'll not be stressed approaching women.

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  • If you're 27 and you never had a girl, while also being attractive them you must be really weird or scared. Just be yourself. Relax and be casual. Dont try, just be.

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  • Be brave. Practice makes perfect.

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  • Talk to them, then give them space. Let them figure out if you're someone they might want to get to know.

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  • I've approached numerous women even though I think I am shy and I've been rejected every time. It matters not if you approach or not, but what they think of you.

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  • I am the same way but I have had a few relationships, only because they made the move first lol. But I've come to find that you should chat up any girl you sit next to or come in contact to, no matter if you are attracted to her or not, it gives you practice and in the long run gives you more confidence to eventually talk to that special girl

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  • Are you sure you are not 17?

    Find a woman who is just afraid of men as you are of women.

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  • Shyness doesn't exist, it's just negative thoughts... Nowadays you can learn everything on internet, write "seduction" on YouTube or "how to pick up girls"... EVERYTHING IS ON INTERNET!!!

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  • what is the worst thing that can happen? She says"no" one down millions to go.

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  • What are you scared of exactly?

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