Do you mind if a girl wants to pay on the first date?


Paying shouldn't just be a ploy to test how your date is going to react, obviously. But still, how they respond gives you some insight into their personality. If they're pushy about paying after you've insisted, that's important to know. If they're so into you picking up the tab that they rack up more money on it, that's also valuable info to have.
Personally, being an independent woman, i don't mind to pay ;) why shouldn't I?



  • YES
    30%(122)32%(277)Vote33%(155)
  • NO
    70%(279)68%(593)Vote67%(314)
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Most Helpful Guy

  • What's hotter than a woman showing that she's into you by smashing society's rules and making it clear she's not there (tonight at least) for the money?

    Just by saying that, I could fall for you so fast, Natured!

    Of course, the rabbithole goes much deeper. If a girl would date a homeless man (one with charm of course), then things become Very interesting! And that is the ultimate statement of an independent woman - in demonstration of status and financial independence, and intellectual freedom from social constructs.

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    • You actually understood my whole life :)
      Thank you, i am that woman and i actually don't care about society's rules, i follow my own rules which are based on respecting myself and others without putting somebody ABOVE me or my standards, my Man does not have a stable job, therefore i earn more money than him having a stable and serious job, but I LOVE HIM and I don't care about money :)

      I wish more women would see it this way and i honestly wish more men would see it your way also. But hey i accept everyone's opinion, because like i said, i do respect everyone :)
      Thank you <3

What Guys Said 91

  • In 30+ years of dating, I've never experienced a girl wanting to pay on the first date. LOL. I'd be fine with it though. We'd certainly have a discussion about it in any event, and I generally plan first dates that cost very little or nothing, on purpose. I don't want to set an expectation that I'm going to pay for everything, that I'm going to spend money to entertain her, or make her feel obligated because I paid for something.

    The truth is that I'm happy to pay for a date - and sometimes a lot - but it doesn't make any sense to spend a lot of money on a first date. Many first dates don't work out, and people probably won't appreciate it much on a first date anyway. If you do something a little more expensive on the 4th or 5th date, then it means a whole lot more to her.

    I also enjoy the challenge of planning a date that she'll find engaging and fun while not spending money. Dating is about communication - trying to determine if you have more than just mutual attraction, because compatibility is just as critical - and so I plan dates when we can talk a lot, and that doesn't need to cost anything.

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  • Since i am traditional in some aspects. I feel this is something i would like to do. It is part of my principles and belief. But if a girl desires to do so. We will debate and reach an agreement. If she enjoys doing it and feels satisfied this way. I won't fight it. Such payments are not important to me at all. I never sit at the same table with someone as a date until i am prepared to share my life with them. In manner of that, i don't care about the pockets. Relationship is not a business for me and money is my least concern. I have more important elements to be worried about than a simple meal bill.

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  • I pay for a first date. It has nothing to do with being a loser or something, it has to do with being a gentleman. If money is all I care about on a date then I shouldn't be dating women.

    Good luck...

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  • The whole bill?
    I would have a problem with her paying the whole bill, obviously.

    If she offers to split I may offer to cover the whole thing, but won't insist if she still wants to pay.
    If she neither does the "purse reach" or offers to split I will ask them to split the bill.

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  • I don't mind if she offers, in fact its a nice thing. I'll ninja pay the tab though when she goes to the bathroom.

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  • no. but i know for a fact that i won't be getting a second date coz girls always judge on that ( at least in my city or country)

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  • I would pay but if the girl insists then I won't say no. Some guys insist on paying even if the girl wants to because they have like a old school mindset, and I think that's a bit rude and weird. And some girls try to say they want to pay and if the guy accepts they hate him, I think that's also rude and weird. I think I would offer to pay but I think it shouldn't be such a big deal ! If the girl wants to ay then that's fine and if not that's fine too. Just chill people :P

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  • Not at all. My girlfriend paid on our first date (she was the one who asked me out). I really don't care who pays as long as there's no expectation.

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  • I would prefer to pay especially if I'm the one that asked her out but I'm not gonna argue over money and definitely not on a first date

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  • Yeah, I wouldn't let the girl pay on the first date. She might be a bad tipper and I'd be embarrassed.

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  • I don't mind, but I'd be surprised a girl would want to pay on a date with me. I'm not exactly a catch worth spending money on.

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    • well i have a boyfriend but if i was single i would, i give chances to people to show me their charm. to me charm is something way more important than being attractive

    • @natured
      You really haven't seen my face.
      Also that's fine I wasn't trying to get you to date me or anything, I like brown girls anyways and you probably don't live near me, I just genuinely don't think you'd date me in the first place.

  • I like half and half. A girl who shows she's willing to pay or meet halfway is a sign of class, a high quality girl who most likely won't use a guy for money. I've had girls do half and half, I've had some that wanted me to pay, I've had some that wanted to pay.

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  • In general I don't mind if she was the one who asked me out or for some reason insists on pampering me - birthday, etc. Just whatever the reason avoid the "independent woman" mantra, because I automatically assume you don't need me and me being there turns into a joke.

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  • I'd put a ring on that. But in all seriousness, I mean it when I say that paying for the tab automatically gives her a distinct advantage over other women.

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  • There's nothing to mind. I just wouldn't let her.

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  • Girl you truly are an alpha, and a keepee

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  • I don't mind at all. I would offer if I was the one who asked her out. I figure that if I planned the evening I could follow through with that. I would respect her if she refused it. Not everyone is comfortable with someone else spending money on them especially people they aren't close with.

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  • call me traditional or whatever, who is asking out for the date, pays.
    I ask for the date, then i choose the restaurant or club or whatever location, means I know what is to be expected, I will not embarace the girl, respectivly in may age, the lady, by not bringing enough cash.
    If this issue is so much of a worry for her, it is very likely I wouldn't have asked her out.
    If she is asking me out (yes, I don't mind that at all, actually my last 2 LTRs started this way), the choices are all hers and I'll consider it an invitation. I will pay the wine / drinks nevertheless.

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  • That's a complete turn ON! It shows me, that she is NOT after my money and not like "the other girls" :)

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  • Guys who can afford it will probably have an issue with it... why? Because it takes away some their superiority over females... and they rather throw a few bucks than tive up the drivers seat

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  • I don't mind if she pays.. Only if she insist.. Although I'd rather split the bill.. That way I feel better.. Lol..

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  • Dude i swear to god i feel like i am a few decades ahead of my age because of questions like this. I feel like this topic should have gone extinct since a long time ago.

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  • I don't mind whatsoever. It's the current year after all. Time for some equality.

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  • I'm old fashioned so I prefer to do it myself.

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  • I voted yes but I wouldn't really MIND, it's just I'd like to be the gentleman and serve her

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  • pay away. ... ill buy the wine

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  • I don't mind it, it's upto the girl if she wants to pay or not.

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  • girls want to pay first LOL nice fiction

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    • It does happen ;) at least in my case it does

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    • So you actually paid for everything on the first date with your boyfriend? :)

      North pole problem? lol what do you mean by that?

    • @bbbb2 Yeah i paid but i had to sneak away so he would not see me, OFC he was mad but we had a cute argument, and we went to the next bar where HE PAID... ;)
      Oh north people are just cold... in general, in here we never split bills we offer A LOT !!

  • I'll be surprised if she insists on paying but I'll tell her that is nice of her and i appreciate that. I'll tell her it was nice that she spoke up about what she wanted to doβ˜ΊπŸ’•

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  • If she really wants to then it's fine if she wants to treat me to a meal or whatever we are doing it's fine but I'll want and feel I should get the next one

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  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 21

  • I insist, and encourage more ladies to start doing this! Gender Equality!

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  • I am going to be controversial here and disagree. A man should pay, I don't believe in gender equality nor feminism. It takes his sense of pride and goal away. I am very traditional in my beliefs.

    Another point one shouldn't go to a date unless there is certainty of some sort of future despite results.

    *waits for down votes*

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    • I never down vote people's opinions, your opinion is direct and honest so you don't deserve the down votes at all, honestly i do agree and i accept your points of view.
      But this has nothing to do with Feminism or equality, it's just in a lot of cultures this is a TABOO :)

      Thank you

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    • Yes the things you mentioned are something that a man is supposed to do in order to show respect and to earn respect from that woman.

      But sometimes people should react automatically on things without thinking about feminism and society, and without thinking that a man IS the provider, because a woman can be too, yes it looks like i am talking about equality here but it is really not, a man SHOULD hold doors but he is not supposed to be the provider :)

    • That's very interesting. I happen to to believe the exact opposite ha lols I can't help it :-)

  • On a first date if he asked me out, I would think it's strange for me to pay unless I totally knew I wasn't interested.

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    • What if you asked him out?

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    • *... ike to get my way...

    • Oh, yeah that makes sense :) Thank you for your opinion. :)

  • I don't know, I expect him to offer. I would then insist on paying or splitting, but I just see it as gentlemanly if he offers. Shows he had respect for me, or something.
    Let me make it clear; I expect him to offer but i don't expect him to pay.
    Woman logic.

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  • I'd pay for me only.

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  • I don't mind paying. I've always offered to st least split the bill for a first date but I've never had anyone take me up on the offer. My boyfriend wouldn't let me pay for the first few months we were together but now we take turns paying for things.

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  • It is fine with me as long as I know that he has no money and I will not be surprise when the bill is already on the table and I am not informed that I will be the one to pay. It happened to me once. I had this guy and met him for the first time usually with all the other dates I had before is they were the one who pay. Then when the bill is on the table he suddenly told me he has no money yet. I get offended and angry at him because I was not expecting him to be like that. When during the conversation he seems to be the one responsible on that date. hahahaha. That was the most hilarious and unforgettable date I ever had. LOL

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  • i pay if i dont like him. this maybe not nice. please help me about this. in te back of my mind im scared as hell to be asked to come home wit him after a fancy dinner, i know how to handle it, but i still want to avoid if i could. im sorry if i hurt anyone cuz i think like this about guys.

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  • This topic seems to come up a lot. I don't think it matters who pays necessarily so long as it's not a terribly awkward exchange.

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  • it's fine either way

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  • Guys in my country would never let a girl pay for the whole bills.

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    • same in my country

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    • yep, thats the trick ;)

  • As a girl, I'd think the guy would be pleasantly surprised. Maybe even a little relieved. Guys shouldn't have to do things the old way all the time. The world is changing and they shouldn't always be expected to pay. If they want to, that's one thing. But if you're really having a hard time deciding who should pay, make it easy and split the bill! 😊

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  • I always pay for myself on every dates, not only the first unless the guy offers and insists. like hell.

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  • i prefer splitting the bill unless he's like poor

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  • Why not I would think someone is insecure if it was a big deal

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  • Well whoever wants to pay , let them pay

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  • Man, I'd feel like the biggest dweeb if I let someone I took on a date pay the bill.

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  • Yess

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  • I mind if he won't let me pay half or all. I don't like the idea of having my s. o. in charge of my finances like a dad and a spoiled daughter. Its unstable to me. I also get super suspicious of dudes who lead with cash talk, paying everything and bragging about wealth nonstop. I understand how women (or men?) might feel about it or a breadwinner. Whether its a marriage, LTR or just dating.. I don't agree with him paying in full all the time, and especially when we hardly know each other, I wanna split. On first dates, he usually pays but I don't really care either way as long as I can chip in too. Special occasions, fine.. but to me its more special when its not cliche (dozen roses and a 5 star? Or a movie theater drive through- yuss!)

    I feel like he gets some unspoken control in the relationship, and I always owe him and should be grateful. Ya know what I'm grateful of? My independence and my own stuffy little pastel blue wallet.

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  • I think everybody should pay for themselves

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  • Personally, I'd never foot the bill on a first date or let a guy pay either. I'd rather we both pay for our own share , then neither of us will feel obligated to meet up again if the date doesn't go well.

    If he insisted on paying on a second or third date , then I'd insist that I pay the next time.

    If he payed on a first date and we didn't meet up again I''d feel guilty , because I'd feel as though I'd taken advantage of his kindness

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