We've been dating for 2 years. For months now I've been sleeping over at his house and we've been having sex. He knows I'm a Christian but it's tough. I really am in love and he's my first love. We're both in college by the way. All those times he said damn we were dirty last night! Whenever he came over he always hanged out and watched tv with me on my bed.
So I told him today that I can't have sex anymore because I want to wait till marriage.
He says he's trying to wait but he's very sexually frustrated.
Most Helpful Guy
if you had held that line (abstinence til marriage) from the beginning, you would have been a high-value girl. the fact that you didn't makes you lower value. (in the guy's mind I mean) the fact that you want to go back to abstinence now means you recognize this and are trying to regain value you've already given away.
should you stick with your decision? sure. you obviously know it's the right thing. how will he react? well two things: by having sex with him you've become lower value. guys only want to marry high-value women. his statement is a threat to leave if you don't have sex.
here's what he's saying in plain English: "I know you're not high value. Now that I know, sex is the only reason I'm with you. don't randomly hold out sex til marriage because I have no plans to marry you. give me what I'm here for (sex) or I'm gone."
that's the PET -plain English translation of his words. if he means this ( he does) you need to leave him. simply being in a relationship with him will be detrimental to your self worth as he sees you as being lower value.
it's unlikely that he's just testing you. in which case you tell him your decision is final and if he can't respect your decision of no more sex / oral sex/etc, then you will leave him. -and then follow through. don't leave this open ended he needs to decide right then and there.
but yeah it is possible that he will stay with you and try to get you afraid of him being drawn to other girls. -so that you will have sex with him again. if he does this than him respecting your decision was a fake and he doesn't really value you. so you'll need to leave him.
this may be a hard choice but you can't let yourself keep doing what you know is wrong or stay with someone who doesn't value or respect you.
last thing: if you started this relationship telling him you were waiting for marriage and then fell to him... you need to end this now. like right now. there is nowhere good this will go if that's the case.0
Most Helpful Girl
you already had sex... what is waiting until marriage going to do? I wouldn't be with someone who wanted to wait until marriage so I see where he is coming from.3