Who should pay on a date?

Here is my opinion-

First date: whoever initiates the date should pay

After that it doesn't matter, just take turns or split the bill.

Special occasions: you should treat them.

Randomly: offer to pay, even when its not your turn. Just out of curtesy and kindness

Who do you think should fit the bill?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Everyone should pay for their own shit.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think both should pay for their own share of the meal on a FIRST date. Then neither feels obligated to meet up again if it doesn't go well. I'd feel guilty if a guy asked me on a date, payed for it, and I didn't want to see him again. I'd feel like I'd taken advantage of his kindness. So I'd insist I pay for myself

    If we met up again and he payed , then I'd insist that I pay the next time

    If a guy or women is going for dates with people from a dating site and s/he is always the one intiating , then it would be unfair that s/he has to for every time on ever date with different people.( Some people go on many dates with many people before they decide they want to see someone a second time) It would cost them her a fortune If they had to pay for two people all of the time. That's unfair

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What Guys Said 17

  • I embrace the traditional values. I don't care about today's logic and philosophies.
    I want to pay regardless of any status. But if the girl feels otherwise and have another wish. If she wants to pay or split. I wouldn't have any problem just in order to respect my opposite's desire and following her wishes.

    First date doesn't hold any differences for me than another date and the continue of a relationship.
    The initiate logic doesn't work in my mind either. Because it refers: Whoever ask out, they are the one who's interested. So they should pay. That is nonsense to me and it doesn't work in my world. Because when someone ask me out and i accept, i am as interested as her. I would still pay in honor of my acceptance which shows my equal interest. And as my traditional values represents to me.
    The first date and the continue of dates/relationship doesn't make any differences to me because i am not type of person to date with a dozen of people. I date with someone only when i have a sense that she is my type. In respect of that, i don't care about the pockets. Relationship is not a business to me. Money my least concern and no i am not rich either as some logic presents. A relationship must be empty of such elements or it's unhealthy. At least i can't handle these type of relations and will end it immediately.
    When i am in a relationship or i have this intention to be in a relationship with someone. My pocket is hers and her pocket is mine. There shouldn't be any differences. It's all about mutual agreement and understanding.
    I can't stand counting it either. Suddenly the girl says "It's your turn to pay" that's not a relationship. I feel like i am a CEO of company and we are making financial deals. For me, that is disgusting in a relationship and i can't stand it.

    At the end, i just don't care about money and payments. First date or after. And i can't stand someone who is so obsessed with it.
    Thankfully i have a girlfriend who hold no cares about money. And we care who pays. Her pocket is mind and my pocket is hers. Our money is ours. It doesn't matter who pays and how many times who do what. It's been the same from day 1 up until now which is six years. We are so comfortable and in love and so happily out of these challenges.

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  • I agree with what you say except for this

    "First date: whoever initiates the date should pay"

    why? it makes no sense at all. You always need 2 for a date. If you accept, then it means that you want it too and are interested. The other person doesn't force you to go to the date. It doesn't work like that with other things either, or do your friends have to pay your cinema ticket if they ask you to go watch a movie?
    Also, often the first date is with someone you don't know at all, there is a 50% chance that there won't be a second date. So there always just one person going in advance and taking the risk. And since most people still expect the guy to make the first move, saying that the one who asks out usually ends with the guy always pays for the first date.

    splitting on the first date is the only fair solution. of course, if you wanna put some extra effort into it then you can offer to pay. but it shouldn't be something that is expected.

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    • I understand but I think I interpret it a bit differently. If a fancy gala had an entrance fee and I invited the other person, I invited them to a special treat. I believe that because I invited them I should pay. They may have accepted but they decided to take a risk to come on this date with me instead of doing something else. I respect their time and its mostly out of appreciation that I would pay. I don't know, dates in general don't have a lot of logic. Id prefer something that didn't cost money. Its lowkey and less pressure.

  • Never been on a date but when me and the guys go out we dont give a care who pays the bill aslong as its payed, we normally pay for our own orders. If anyone doesn't have enough we will chip in and pay for that person. Once we had a table of 20 of our guys but the restruant refused our single payments. They thought it was a good idea to add it all up and divide it by how many of us there where. and said we want you all to pay this amount. Which is crazy because why should the other guy pay for what iv ordered.

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    • Since that day, every place we went to we fully explained how we want the bill indivigaly.

  • it really doesn't matter to me

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  • Now a days, I actively pay attention if she offers (and plenty have, so you gals got competition for the ones that don't) when years ago I didn't... things have changed young padawan

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  • I'm into traditional ideals and chivalry. I feel that the man should pay, however the woman should attempt to pay, let us say no we got this... but by date 3, please by all means.

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  • The girl

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  • Split the bill on first date. Always

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  • If the guy asks, he should pay and if the girl asks he should offer to split the bill.

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  • Each person should expect to pay for themselves, that way you won't be screwed by someone else and it will keep you from overspending.

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  • both

    but not forced to be simultaneous

    see where this goes?

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  • Just do rock paper scissors the loser pays after that take turns.

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  • "
    First date: whoever initiates the date should pay"

    Except that's almost always the man. If I take you for coffee or something fine but if you want to go somewhere more expensive split the bill. This is the one time I normally argue it's right to split it simply because you have no idea if another date is going to happen or not.

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    • You're right, often times it is the guy but speaking for myself, if I was interested in someone I would have no problem asking first and I wouldn't mind paying. I think going to expensive restaurants is overrated especially for a first date.

  • That's why I date Asians. They are always willing to split and they don't make a fuss about it.

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  • for the first time if should guys should , for next ones girls as well should however

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  • Basically what u just said is the synopsis of what I think

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  • I think a woman should always offer to pay even on first dates.

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What Girls Said 11

  • I say go dutch if you don't know them that well, if you asked them out you can offer to pay if you choose to. Then yeah you can flip flop with who pays.

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  • Basically agree with what you said, I definitely think as the relationship continues, the couple should be comfortable enough to take turns paying.

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  • Same as you

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  • Split the dates from the start. Once more committed, you can each offer to pay for the other and take paying in turns or just split.

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  • Agreed

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  • I agree with you the asker should pay

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  • I agree with everything you said– if someone wants to treat you, let them, but you should always offer to pay first.

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  • Both people

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  • I guess split or switch off

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  • A guy it's just manners

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  • "Who should pay on a date?"
    The one who has the money and is willing to spend it.

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