Long story short: Boy meets girl, both have an instant connection. Talk for hours. Go on first date weeks later. According to both, hit it off like never before. Been on 4 dates (started dating 2 weeks ago), but every date has been an almost all day thing which has resulted in sleeping over as well. Guy is crazy about the girl and the girl seems the same way. She tells him that he's an amazing guy and that she'll never find a guy like him. She'll randomly just stop whatever she's doing and look deep into his eyes and say she's so glad she met him and that she really likes him. Questions doing a research opportunity that would take her away for a few months in a year because of said guy. Said guy is moving in a year as well and she's dropped hints that she'd be willing to move if it came down to it. Basically when together things could not possibly be going any better.
There are problems though. She has a history of cheating, history of self harm and depression, she's also hot and cold, she just got out of a relationship, doesn't seem to know what she wants. She never texts unless I do and I have gone several days without contacting her and when I do it's short and to the point. She's told me that her cousin is coming to visit her for the next 3 weeks so not to worry if she goes mia. I'm not planning on texting her first, but I just don't feel like I'm a priority in her life if she can go 3+ days without contacting me, even a simple hey thinking of you is more than enough. Am I just being clingy or is this something to actually be concerned about?
short and it was pretty meh, I think I caught her at a bad time since I woke her up (she's on nigh shifts at the moment). I actually ended up asking her if we're good (too many mixed signals) and she said we are and that she warned me she was going to go silent while her cousin was visiting. Whatever, I can think about this once things go back to normal.
Most Helpful Girl
If the only concern was the texting and there was nothing else, I'd say it was maybe a little clingy. But combined with everything else, I understand the concern.
I'd be more concerned about the history of cheating, than the texting. How long ago was that? And how long ago was her recent breakup, and how important was the relationship she just got out of? How long ago was the self harm and depression? I wouldn't judge her for these things, but knowing whether they are the distant past and she's long since overcome them, or still part of the present, is gonna be important.
Also, going mia for 3 weeks is just, a lot of mia time. She seems a bit selfish almost... have you noticed any self-absorbed behaviors, ways of thinking or ways of approaching things at all? Maybe something to keep an eye on.
If it were me, I'd still make time to text the guy I like at least a little, even if my cousin was in town. I'd probably invite him out WITH my cousin so we could all hang out, now that I'm thinking of it. You said she's hot and cold, doesn't know what she wants... maybe she's just not really ready for a new relationship.2
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Most Helpful Guy
You had me at (History of cheating, history of self harm, and depression and not to mention she is hot and cold) LOL. .. I like Doritos they are really good they quench my cheesy corn tortilla desires... but if I open the bag and they are stale or broken into little pieces.. I am sorry but I'm getting another bag... life is too short to eat stale crumbs. Move on.1