Is it wrong to lie about my money to women?

Hello, first I want to say I am a millionaire. I don't mean that as bragging but I just want to be honest. I know I was born privileged into a rich family, and not everyone is a lucky and I should always check my privilege. I just want to add that disclaimer.

I am not the best looking man. I am pretty short, like 5'3, I am average looking, I am a black man (not sure if race plays into this). But I have never had problems getting with women. I always had a feeling that's because they notice I'm rich, since I always drive in stylish cars, wear fancy clothes, going to extravagant places. I tried experimenting and going to places dress more normally, not wear expensive or drive expensive things, keep dates more simple and it is much harder to get women, actually I strike out most of the time.

Anyways I want to be in a serious relationship, I am ready for that. I really want someone to share my life with. However I always worry about weather a woman will be with me because of who I am as a person or because I am rich. Sometimes I think I should just lie about my money and act "poorer" until I find someone that makes me happy and then let them know I'm rich, but sometimes I feel thats lying and shady and I hate having to act like something I'm not just to avoid someone using me.
Ladies personally and please be honest, does your feeling change when you a guy is rich and if this same guys was not as rich would you still give him the time of day?

I don't know where the middle ground is. I am not sure how to do this exactly. Do any of you girls or guys have any advice?


0|0
35

Most Helpful Girl

  • I wouldn't call it lying if you just avoid the subject. She doesn't need to know you have a trust fund.

    Don't buy her things and wave around high dollar items infront of her. Avoid letting her see your car when your go on the first few dates if you can.
    I have only two friends that are people I like who have trust funds and both are now married. One of them is short like you, a truly good person and friend and I've known his wife since they met 10 years ago. She's from a very poor family but a good family as far as values go, they would let them move in together until marriage and they dated for 6 years.

    They met working in a kitchen together and he doesn't announce his trust fund status to get women. I was friends with him for years before I knew and he only told me because I was worried about his ongoing job issues. There wedding was so beautiful and everything she deserved, true princess wedding though that was the first time his family really doesn't any money and she liked him for the right reasons.

    My other close friend used it as status and to reel men in. She ended up with a guy who doesn't even have a penny in a 401k, buys used Audis instead of a more sensible new car he could afford. He is a great personality and can win over a room but he's superficial and collects people. Yes collects people. He has a Gatsby complex. I mean I like the guy okay as a friend but the person she is with him and the way he acts with her isn't love. She put the whole 25% down on their house and he complains she doesn't make more. She's beautiful and funny and clever. I've known them together for years and we have fun out on the town. But a few years ago we ran into her exboyfriend she was dating before him.

    At first I was just thrilled to see him but later I realized the disparity between the two relationships. Her Ex loved her for her. He still loves her and she did loved him very much.

    The difference is Her ex loved and accepted the good and the bad and the current husband controls and tries to change to fit his model. He proposed to her only after the house and she said she expected it. Proposal for house.

    People will like you for you. Meet people with no talk of money get to know them then you can mostly trust them.

    1|0
    0|0
    • My problem with money since colllege and onward is that I make very good money but I don't want to be judged by that by other rich people!

      For a while I was having a problem of dating guys of my same income and that's why they were dating me. Looks, income that was it. They didn't want a woman who is a dent to their income. This all sounds fine but it's the underlying sins of bigger issues.

      I find that I can date men who make less money than me with mostly no problems. I don't refuse to ride in their cars, I let them pay on dates they can afford and I don't make it an issue.

      I think they will obviously know you have a leg up but they don't need to know you're set. That will make any good girl uncomfortable and attract the wrong kind of attention.

Most Helpful Guy

  • It's probably the smart choice if you want to be sure they aren’t interested in you for your money.

    Besides women lie to men men about plenty of things. Your lie isn't even bad.

    0|0
    0|0

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • i don't think you need to "act poor". Just don't wave your money around. Many wealthy people don't feel the need to wave their money around.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I don't wave my money around, but just do what I normally do, drive and wear what I normally drive, go to places i normally go, it's just that all of that is pretty much showing off I'm rich.

      I mean for some people going to mc donalds, walmart, wearing nike and rockawear others will see as rich or wealthy if they are poorer

  • I might consider doing the same thing to find a genuine woman.

    1|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 4

  • They are going to go for you because of your money.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Bring up early on how you strongly believe in pre-nups.

    If she likes you for you and not for your money, she won't have any issues with them.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Keep doing it this way. That way when a girl who likes you for who you are comes along, surprise her with how rich you are.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I would just avoid the subject, till you're comfortable with telling her.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...