What is the Deal with this Guy?

A guy from school asked me out 3 times already. The first two times I was unavailable and he had word them like: "I'm in the library all day, if you want to join me to study or whatever your welcome to." "My brother is having a New Years Party, are you in the city then? " and the third time he asked me out for coffee. The first date went good and a few days later I asked him out. He accepted and we went for drinks. The date went really good I felt. He opened up a lot and he was always initiating conversation even when it almost got awkward. He paid for drinks and afterwards, he asked me at the end of the night: "Do you want to hang out again?" and I said "Yeah, sure. Text me when you are free." It's been 5 days and I have not heard from him. I am wondering if this is normal? Or did he change his mind? I know he could just be busy. We don't really communicate between the dates. However, i know if I text him he will respond right away and start a conversation. I thought of texting him to see how he is. However, I don't really want to set up the next date because I believe it is his turn. However, I'm worried I will come off as too clingy if I text him before letting him have a chance to ask me out again. He is really extroverted around everyone else and gets really nervous around me.


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What Guys Said 1

  • i dont know about this guy but I'm extremely extroverted around my friends but extremely intorverted/nervous around people i dont know or i am interested in. id say this guy likes you but has a hard time initiating things woth you. possibly because of low self esteem or anxiety or something of a similar nature.
    if i was him and asked you to hang out again and got the response "yeah, sure. text me when you are free." id probably think that you werent interested in me jsut cause of how you worded it
    if it had been something like "yeah sounds good, text me later and we can set something up." id get the impression that maybe you were into me
    just try texting him and seeing if he still wanted to hang out

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    • I did text him finally after 5 days of waiting haha i couldn't handle it anymore. And he responded instantly. However, I don't know how to ask because I asked him how his life is going and he is swamped with school work and midterms. I didn't even inquire about us hanging out.

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    • yeah he's into you for sure, if he said he is that swamped with school and stuff but still wants to try to hang out this weekend he definitely has feelings for you
      granted i can't say with 100% certainty cause, you know, im not him, but if i was him that is exactly what i would do if i was really into a girl

    • so at this point just ride it out, keep pushing to hang out and stuff, but not too hard. he might just be a shy guy so it may take him some time, so just be patient and he'll come around eventually :)

What Girls Said 1

  • I think you misinterpreted what he wanted, it sounds like (from his words) he just wants a platonic relationship and to hang out with you. Unless he confirmed it was a date with you, then it sounds like you've misunderstood the situation. Hanging out in the library isn't a date, inviting you to a party isn't a date (unless specified) and asking you out for coffee can be friends or a date, but if he didn't specify it was a date, then I doubt it was. It sounds like you need to ask him whether he wants to date or be friends.

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