He said he'll break up with me if we're not sexually compatible. How should I react?

In all other areas of our relationship we are great together. We have the same expectations and we enjoy the same activities and we are happy with each other. The bedroom has been tense lately and he admitted that if we can't be sexually active then he'll break up with me. This makes me feel like sex is more important than me or his feelings towards me. My instinct is to say he's being an ass and I shouldn't have to deal with that kind of ultimatum. We've been together for 4 years and I'm confused


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Instead of an ultimatum he should look for ways to improve sex with you. I've yet to hear of a couple that succeeds based on threats or ultimatums. But, maybe he is just immature and just said something stupid out of sexual frustration. The silver lining is that he told you there's a problem with your sexual relationship instead of going out there to find what he believes he's missing behind your back. Communication is so important to make this work, just keep that in mind.. even it it's an uncomfortable topic. Good luck to you guys!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • well to be honest the two most important things in a relationship for me are the sex and the good communication. If one of them sucks then it's simply not working. If you're together for such a long time just ask him what does he expect in bed and how you can please him, it's normal. And he's not being an ass I also wouldn't be happy if the sex wasn't good.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 6

  • He is being an ass. He also is making sex way to important. If you don't want to let him in then keep your legs shut. He is not worth getting more hurt over. Dump him if he can't accept that your not ready. Leave him while you can.

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  • no. your feelings is more important than his dick 😓😓
    if u were not compatible why he should stay with u

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  • Tell him it's unfair

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  • you know in a relationship both emotional and physical part must be strong... you shouldn't be hard to him for expecting a great physical side of ur romance with such a great girl like you

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  • if he's going to break up with you because he doesn't get sex than you need to drop him

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  • but if there is no sexual connection in the bedroom wouldn't you agree that the relationship might not be right for you and him?

    well its true you want the same things in other areas of the relationship , there doesn't seem to be that same kind of agreement in the bedroom

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What Girls Said 3

  • Uh bye. There's one thing about finding out you're not sexually compatible and mutually agreeing it's not gonna work and then there's a threat in which he's doing

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  • i'm sorry but i agree with your boyfriend.. sex is just really important in a relationship at least for me and I'm sure it is for most people. If you're not compatible there'll be someone else who is.

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  • He's not being an ass, to be honest. Sexual compatibility is important and it can make or break a relationship. That's just what it is.

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