Multiple dating.. isn't it exhausting?

Hi,

I've been on a few dates with guys and I've noticed that one has to keep the options open as you never know... especially in the first 2-3 months...
to be honest, I find it quiet annoying and exhausting as you can't really focus on one person only...
it's really stupid...
who thinks the same?
If you like someone, why not continue getting to know that person?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Agreed, but the reason it's not as straightforward as "if you like someone, why not continue getting to know them" is simple: you just don't know that it will go anywhere--especially early on. So you're best off cultivating other options as well. This is especially true for guys, because we tend to do the asking. That means, we REALY don't know how you feel about us until you demonstrate you're attracted to us and see us as potential sexual partners. Girls know that we see them that way immediately, otherwise we'd never have asked them out. But we can't know until a fair bit of time and energy has been invested.

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    • I've noticed that too...
      I had a guy who questioned my interest even though we'd been hooking up for a while lol
      Like seriously? I would not be sleeping with you if I wasn't interested in you

    • Oh! Hahaha! Yeah--THAT'S weird! I was talking about how things progress BEFORE you start having sex! :P Once you're regularly getting naked, down and dirty, it's VERY clear that you're sexually into the guy and he's not in the friendzone. But BEFORE all that, he can't honestly know. You MAY want to fuck his brains out and that could be coming soon in the next few dates, OR the girl could just think he's an okay guy and not really have any interest in sleeping with him. The only way to know is seeing things progress physically.

      But yeah--if you're sleeping with him and he's questioning your interest, he's kind of a girl! lol!

    • Thanks for most helpful.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't do that. I'm also very introverted and highly picky. So if I happen to stumble upon a lad I'm actually into, it's so rare that I wouldn't be dating anyone else. And I know I won't be going on pointless dates with guys and lead them on just "because."

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 14

  • I think many people try too hard. I have always approached it as an opportunity to learn another's point of view and I think many women appreciate that instead of another guy sizing up his chances for the hookup. There's plenty of time for that later.

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  • when I date online I have the policy I can talk to any number of people but when I start going out it is down to that one. some girls don't like it but I need to focus on people I want to care about you know?

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  • My coworker do that and I am tired just keeping up the conversation about his multiple dates lol shit sounds exhausting xd but yeah strange and more like he conducts commercial negociations

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  • I'm polyamorous and it is exhausting. Seeing my submissive tonight then I have to do things with my SO tomorrow and I have a play partner wanting to do something and right now all I want is a damn beer and South Park.

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  • It's exhausting but worth it and good fun I think. For guys we don't really have time to get to know people one at a time - taking 6+ montgs in each girl means we would be 60 before we ever find someone who fits our criteria.

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  • Do get to know them. Do keep options open.
    And yes, it can be exhausting, but it's surely better than sitting home alone!

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    • yes, but if it's obvious that both like each other, have had sex etc., why does it still continue?
      I actually enjoy sitting home alone lol (watching tv, reading something, talking online with friends from abroad etc.).

    • Show All
    • @Scrambledagain yes, men claim to like women that chase them etc., but my experience has told me differently... the moment I show interest, they back off, pull away, disappear.
      When they are chasing me, everything seemed fine

    • No, I just said that I really enjoy sitting at home and doing different things - I do understand what you mean... it's better to go out and meet people because if you stay home you're probably gonna miss some nice opportunities. I do want to meet someone, but dating or meeting someone new every week is exhausting to me; yes, I am quite introverted. I would prefer a relationship to develop naturally, but the guys I meet seem to rush into things; or they are too slow - there is no middle ground. Some declare their love without even knowing me and others take too long

      Well, I've been in many situation where both people "seemed" interested and "in love", but something goes always wrong (probably due to lack of communication). As I am quite introverted, I am really bad at communicating my nees. I've tried that, but it has always failed.
      I meant that even though both "seem" into each other, one of the parties involved starts looking for other options soon...(me or the guy) ..

  • Sure, do what works for you

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  • What's the harm in talking

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    • sure, but I feel you can't really focus fully on one person if you are talking/interested in many people at the same time...
      there is always one favourite person I think

    • Wish you weren't anon. You seem like you would be interesring to talk to more

    • I am talking to many guys but I feel it's jus meeeeh
      building trust and a relationship IS a lot of work.
      If you are just casually seeing/talking to many people you will never reach that level I think

  • Yes it is exhausting.

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  • Fuckboy and fuckgirl behavior , let them stick it in first date haha jk

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  • Yes very exhausting

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  • Its tough if you try to keep track of their info mentally. I make flash cards and look at em before my date with that person like:
    Marissa
    *black lab named skeeter
    *moms an account, dads an architect
    *likes horror, not chick flicks
    *democrat
    * christian
    * fav color is green
    *drives a blue accord
    *sushi friendly
    * runner

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  • I pretty much stick to dating 1 person at a time. but I might hang out with other people in groups. yeah ur right. that's a lot of work

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  • Yes.. Yes You're on to something.

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What Girls Said 6

  • It is really exhausting and I end up just pushing them all away cuz I get overwhelmed with multiple guys texting me trying to make another date and plans and blahblah

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  • I'm one person only too. I would have to move on from him. I wouldn't be able to handle that. One guy kept me as an option for almost a year before he dated me (my daughters dad) and even after that he was hot and cold.

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  • I think lies can be exhausting.

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  • Yeah it is. Especially when you're exhausted from sex, and your other date wants sex to.

    It put a lot of stress on my jaw to.

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    • HAHA, AWESOME!

    • @lkjhg69cum Happy STD-day hahah
      (and not all STDs can be avoided using protection... bear in mind!)

  • never done that. I don't know how lol.

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  • I think it would be. Getting to know all those people, keeping all the details straight. But then monogamy is just in my nature, so of course dating several people at once would sound like hell to me

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