Guys, how to ask him if he is still interested without making him feel like you are needy, clingy and not confident?

He is sorting things out, but won't tell me what things exactly. He said that as soon as things are sorted out and he has time again we will see each other again.

I texted him today just to send him some info he asked me about. We had agreed on me sending them as soon as I had them. He thanked me and repeated that as soon as he has time we will see each other, then he wished me to have a good day. I believe he has things to sort out but he does not text me at all in the meanwhile which makes me wonder about whether he is interested in me or not. We have dated for two months the day before he suddenly changed his behaviour he told me I am well placed to become his girlfriend.

He replied to the text I sent him this morning and though I hadn't asked about the next time I will see him, he freely told me we will meet soon. If he really meant it why is he not texting me to ask how I am doing? I actually like him and I would love to know if he is just being nice and trying to let me get it by not contacting me or if he said we will meet soon because he really thinks it.


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What Guys Said 3

  • just tell him you wanna go out somewhere or talk and go from there

    • He said he has no time and it's complicated, but keeps saying (without being asked that we will see each other as soon as he has time). I just do not want to stress him more than he already is. He has things on his mind and it is insensitive to talk about my insecurities right now. They are not as important as his troubles. I do not want him to see me as another issue to solve. This is why I am not contacting him and giving him time. The only problem is that I do not understand if his troubles are a nice way to stop contact with me in a gentle way instead of speaking up. I would prefer him telling me. This is not the first time I get insecure because of his ways. He always has an explanation that makes sense but he gives me it after he solved his problems.

    • It's not unreasonable to ask of someone to make plans or make time even if they are occupied with other things. Everyone is busy these days, if they are a priority they will find a way.

    • I do not know how serious the issues are. He said he has no time I will not ask again. I just want to know if he is sincere when he says we will meet again or if he just is not interested anymore. He replied to my texts, he said it is not about me, he said we will meet again when he has time (both times voluntarily and not because I asked or put pressure on him), but he does not even send a message to ask how I am. No message in 3 days. Even if he has stuff to deal with I wonder how can't he find a minute to ask how my day is going. something is wrong. He said he is a bad texter but that does not justify the behaviour.

  • He is keeping you at arms length. Maybe trying to protect you or your relationship somehow.

    • I have no idea. He keeps saying this is just a temporary thing and as soon as it gets better he will have time to see me. The problem is that he does not send me any message. Why does he stress the fact that we will see each other again when he is done with his issues but then does not send a message to ask how I am doing? I have issues to solve too and as serious as his. I keep them for myself and that does not prevent me from wanting to know how he is doing. Everything was fine he went from hot to cold in one night without any reason concerning us. I am sorry but sleeping with him meant something to me, I want to be supportive and help out if I can, but at the same time I would like to know if he really means it when he says this is a temporary situation. I just do not want to be fooled. I do not deserve it.

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    • I guess time will show

    • Wish you luck sorry I couldn't help

  • We aren't girls. Unlike you lot, we aren't neurotic perfectionists who universally demand that, to be worthy of us, our partners have to be inhumanly perfect, flawless all-powerful gods. We don't give a fuck about you being slightly needy, clingy or lacking in confidence- we want you to be human, we WANT to care for you. We want you to trust us enough to expose your flaws and vulnerabilities around us- not because we're evil sexual predators, but because there's nothing more that we'd like than to be able to do the same around you. But we can't trust any of you to accept our flaws, because it's unacceptable to be flawed and to be human if you're a man, in the eyes of women. He's sorting things out, and won't tell you what, because most likely, given your mindset (showing concern for your BF/GF=needy, clingy and not confident), he knows full well that you'd immediately reject him for being all of these things if he attempted to confide in you, or sought your support as opposed to handling everything on his own in silence.

    • I would love him to tell me what is going on. I haven't asked because I do not want to invade his space nor oblige him to talk if he does not feel like. I understood something was wrong but I pretended it was fine to get him out and understand how bad it is and if there is anything I can do for him. I just wanted to do it in the most descreet way possible. Besides, he clearly told me he is the type who wants to solve his problems before talking about them. One more reason I am trying to give him space. I do not mind him wanting his space to sort them out, I want to be supportive. I know him too little to know how to do it well. I am afraid that if I ask him the wrong way whether he still wants to see me he will think that this is the only thing I care about. I already told him that if he wants to talk I will listen to him.

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