Why won't he commit to me?

I have been talking to a guy on and off for about 6 months now. In the beginning, he was texting me constantly and wanting to see me a lot. From the start he said he didn't want a relationship, I was fine with this, because it was just the beginning. And then one day he told me when we were hooking up that he liked me. We went on a few dates, I met his roommates, everything seemed to be going well. A lot of our hangouts were sleepovers, but I didn't mind because we are both busy seniors in college. He even showed up at my apt one night drunk and I was sober, as we were going to bed, he stated how much he fucking loved me. I didn't think much of it. So a month went by, and I slowly started to notice him draw back. I confronted him about it, and he told me like wants to keep seeing me, but couldn't really give me a straight answer when I asked him about our future. A month goes by and he starts to draw back again. I asked him why and he said that he definitely likes me, but doesn't have the intentions of dating anyone. He said we've been talking for so long we would have to become serious, and he didn't want that. A month goes by of no contact and he wishes me a happy birthday. He starts texting me again and saying misses me and wants to meet up for lunch or dinner. So we did, and the whole night he was complimenting me, saying how much he missed holding me, kissing me, etc. But when I asked him if he felt differently about the relationship aspect, he told me he goes back and forth about wanting one. I said why? He said he didn't know. He knows he likes me and he's attracted to me. He said he wanted to go out on a date with me again. A few days go by, and he continues to reach out to me and see me. But slowly once again, I am noticing him back off. His friend from home died last week, so I don't feel comfortable asking him right now. But it's bothering me what he's thinking.. My only conclusion is he doesn't like me enough to date me or he truly doesn't want a rela?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He told you from the beginning he didn't want a relationship. Just because you've been hooking up for months, doesn't mean he's gonna change his mind.
    If you want a relationship, then stop hooking up with him and find another guy. If you still wanna keep hooking up, then stop bringing up the relationship.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • that's the problem its confusing but what you posted here i think this guy is not really looking for a relationship he just want to have some one when he wants to hang out that's the only time he will think about you. but for me you should start moving on. find someone that is not playing your feelings. this guy is not worthy for you sorry to say that so just find someone who is better

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    • yeah you're right i should. I just dont understand why he would tell me he likes me and take me out to dinner and all

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    • oh ok i get i know he just want a f buddy sorry to say that girl thats a f buddy men just wants them when they want to have sex. let say you are in a CASUAL DATING, no commitments just being friends, just having sex and just having date. thats it but don't expect more to this guy because that's it

    • see that fuck with my mind so much because why would he text me asking me about my day and how my games went or how my homework is going if he just wanted sex out of me? ugh i dont get guys. and he came over to help me with a few things around my apartment. now thats just straight up cruel if he just wanted sex out of me yikes.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • You can't be this dumb. You're nothing but an occasional fuck when he can't find anyone else.

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    • Then why does he say he likes me and his friends call me his girl?

    • Those are just words you want to hear so you'll keep fucking him like you are. It's time you learn you don't listen to words because they can be lies. You watch actions because they'll speak the truth everytime

  • he's not ready to commit, simple as that. Does it matter why? not really.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Why are you wasting your time with a man who doesn't want a relationship? He told you from the very beginning.. if you knew you wanted something more than you should have stopped talking to him the moment he said that. This guy is hot and cold, he playing emotional game with you. If wanted to be with you he wouldn't draw back then come back.. your just someone he can run to when there's no one else or nothing better to do. I suggest you stop talking to him and move on to a man who really interested in you and knows what he wants

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    • yeah you're right... i guess he just had me thinking he liked me, which do you think is true? it makes me feel not good enough for him which is a shitty feeling.

  • I know exactly how frustrating this exercise can be, I've been there too? How old is this guy?

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    • Really? He is 22 and so am I.

    • I would love to tell you it gets better with age but I'd be lying! I don't know if this is right or wrong but I just basically quit talking to him to see if he'd step up, he didn't but I'd rather know sooner than later!

  • I think you should move on... even if he does like you. It's not nice of him to be toying you around that much. Hopefully you can find a better guy than that in the future...

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  • You let him do this.

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