May I ask why girls do this?

So this has actually happened to me a few times and I'm sure it's happened to other fellas... But WHY ON 🌏 do girls reject guys by giving the excuse "I'm busy"? do they not realize that when they say this that the guy will keep asking them out till they are no longer "busy"? Lol ladies please fill me in why you can't just say "no, I'm not interested"


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I typically straight up tell a guy I'm not interested if I'm not. I've had guys ask me to elaborate on why I wasn't interested, though. Sometimes scheduling will factor into it, especially the last few months. I intend on moving out of state in the next several months for school so I've even turned down guys I'm interested in. And I've found that guys really do still think they have a chance, even the ones I straight up told I'm not attracted to them. I think there is an issue of assumption on both sides no matter what reason is presented, some girls may assume she's doing a guy a favor by giving an indefinite answer, and some guys read into an answer until they can pretend it means something that they want to hear.

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What Girls Said 25

  • I think it's hard for women to be blunt like that, because to us, that would be a bit confrontational... And mean. I know that in reality, it's meaner to not be clear to a guy, but in that moment, saying "I'm busy" is just easier.

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  • They don't want to say no outright because there may be a time when they'll be interested. Let's say you have average looks and you're somewhat interesting. A girl might say she's busy, and then if someone better doesn't come along, say she's not busy anymore. Don't let someone tell you they don't want you more than once.

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    • That's why when a girl say's I'm busy I say "ok opra!" Jk Lol I just let her be

  • I think a lot of people (girls AND guys, but I see it more often with girls) have a hard time harshly turning someone down. By saying "I'm busy" or "Sorry, something came up so I can't"- or even claiming they have a date or a significant other when they don't (which I've seen happen multiple times), it makes turning them down less painful or "mean" and softens rejection, even though it can lead someone on.

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  • Sometimes I really am busy lol like I'll say straight up, if you want to date me, which I wouldn't recommend at all by the way, just realize that I prioritize family (and I consider my pets family), school, work. And lastly relationship. Especially new relationships, if you can't handle that (which is understandable), then it's best not to involve yourself with me because I'm super busy.

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    • "Which I wouldn't recommend btw" why would you say that about yourself? Lmao

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    • I don't know... 6'2" is too tall for me... I would be cool with dating a girl that is slightly taller than me (as long as she is cool with it) even if when she wears heels she towers over me.

    • Nah It's a pretty good one, some girls make some weird body movements and sounds too lmao

  • I'm not dating because I'm busy with college. I hate getting distracted.

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    • Ok so would you say that is something you would say to a guy you find attractive but aren't ready for a commitment?

    • Yeah, probably.

  • I usually only say I'm busy because I am busy. And not just the ' I'm busy this weekend' thing. I only say I'm busy as 'my grades are doing poorly and I'm gonna need to focus the entire semester so try again in a year thing'. If they stick around I give them a chance

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  • I personally don't do that but it's because it's easier to have you hang around incase the girl gets lonely or something of that sort

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  • Because for girls who are nice and don't take pleasure in hurting others, we don't enjoy having the rejection conversation.

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    • Well unlike other guys I don't take rejection up the a** hahaha I actually get more frustrated when a girl say somethin like that. Makes me think, "hmmm she must be the head secretary for the president"

    • It just makes the rejection conversation easier for us. For those of us that are sane, we don't take pleasure in hurting people who have feelings for us.

    • True true, I see the clarification in that.

  • 1) because they fear you ll take the rejection bad (some guys just insult girls when they reject them, it's very boring)
    2) They keep you as a second choice

    It's all I can think now I don't do it so. When I'm not interested I just bluntly said it.

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  • Say I'm not interested is often seen as harsher. I assume girls who say I'm busy, hope you get the hint. Because honestly, if they are interested they would make it work. Sadly I've never been asked out, but I can see myself saying it if I felt the guy was more fragile.

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  • I usually say I'm busy when I truly am busy. If I don't want to pursue anything at that moment in time, I'll make sure to let them know that as well. So I would think if a girl says she's busy maybe she is, if she continues saying she's busy every time though, it's likely that she is just choosing to let them down nicely.

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  • I just end up apologizing and say that I'm not ready to be in a relationship which is usually true I usually get the nice guys who want to talk to me after I have been through a bad relationship and I just end up feeling bad since I would have wished they would have said something before I had went out with an idiot.

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    • See!! That's a good way to handle it! At least you are polite but more upfront with it lol

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    • Then it's simple, them losing you is exactly what it is. A loss for them, fuck em' some people don't see genuine good quality people when they are looking at them.

    • I know right.

  • guys do this too. bc they are cowards and can not just say no.

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  • well i'm a straight forward so i don't say I'M BUSY. i don't waste a person time and i don't want to waste time as well

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  • I am guilty for doing this. but I have a hard time saying no that's why. but they could actuslly be busy at times so I wouldn't be sure

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    • I get some times, but I mean if the girl is busy every single weekend. I turn into a smart ass with em or I just drop them entirely after the 3rd "I'm busy"

    • Yeah but guys do that as well. and trust me if she really wants to hang out she will find some time.

  • they can't find a better lie

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  • Usually it's because we are trying not to be rude or mean. But now that I think about it what you said does make more since because it insinuates that maybe when we are not busy we will get back with you when in all honesty that's never going to happen so really it's actually meaner but I think we do it because we expect guys to read between the lines because if a guy tells me he's busy I'm moving on until he texts/calls me first asking to get together. Lol

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  • Some don't want to hurt the feeling of the guy.
    I personally don't like that, i reject fast and hope I don't waste his or mine time

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  • Because i dont want to hurt him lol

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  • because it's more polite than saying i'm not interested

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    • I know, but why give the guy ammunition to keep pestering you? At least for the guys that haven't heard this excuse.

    • most guys that i have come across, understand that it's a form of saying i'm not interested and then they tend to back off

  • They don't want to regret later or they want to have the guy waiting

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  • they don't want to be mean

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  • lol
    cause we dont want to look mean... I guess..

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  • well from personal experience it was because I wasn't interested and I felt bad if I said no I did not want to hang out so I would say I was busy. But I know when my boyfriend and I were barely getting to know each other he would always ask me and I would say I was busy. Not because I wasn't interested but because I was VERY nervous to hangout lol. Until I told myself to get over it and finally said yes

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  • I think it's the fastest way?

    I'm friend with girls who likes to use that as an excuse, they told me that it has two different meaning. Back off or come here.

    The truth is, girl is more manipulative and worst at showing emotions than guys. Us girls have this thing called pride and prejudice about showing emotion and not be honest with that.

    It's really hard to tell wether she's interested or not. Just like my friend case, she said that two different guys. The one she likes and the one she doesn't. If in your case that she doesn't like you it's that she doesn't want to think much about the excuse that she's going to use and doesn't want to be the bad guy here.

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    • My mind is totally fucked now

    • Yeah, some guy thinks that they don't want to be distracted while most of the girls wants the guys to try harder you know. Like they want the guys to show their commitment and work into this, are you serious or not? It's really hard to tell the difference between like and dislike, you have to know her friend as well so you know what kind of girl is she.

    • Yeah I guess, But I once dealt with a girl that pulled the she is busy excuse for about 10 times. And after that I gave up. Lol

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