Girls making me jump through hoops where her ex who she claimed was a player got everything he wanted, wtf, why do I have to go through tests etc?

Not my first girlfriend to pull this crap, honestly wtf, i get it most girls go through the heartbreak with the player, but why exactly am I treated differently because of what the players did, like my current girlfriend she keeps pulling these shit tests because she says after her ex boyfriend used her and dumped she went through the mistrust period, why do I have to get treated like sh! t for what another guy does, another ex I had said no kissing until the third date I was okay with that and she told me she didn't want to have sex with me right away because she was hurt okay I'm fine with that again, ironically she always talked about what a scumbag her ex was and how he was your typical tool who treated her badly you get the point, and she cheats on me with this dude again after telling me that she doesn't want to get hurt by men again making me wait here like an idiot where this dudes been Having sex with her wtf, instead of taking their anger out on them they take it out on the dude who doesn't pressure them or treat them badly, case in point my experiences. One more incident when I was in high school 7 years ago, I started dating this girl who had been hurt of course, and I met her family, her siblings liked me but her parents mistrusted me because of the other guy and it's like they take their anger out from the other guy that hurt their little girl out on me, the father pulled me aside and told me that if i dare break his little princesses heart he would beat the shit out of me, of course I didn't treat her badly and I did everything that a boyfriend should do and acted accordingly, I even drove her siblings to their activities/jobs as well still her parents mistrusted me where the ex had more free reign and he wasn't even respectful, well guess what she dumps me to go back to him and on Fb she posts a picture of them on a trip away from home with this dude smiling together where the parents didn't even let me take their daughter out past 7 pm to a movie, I just don't get it?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Maybe try dating like, mature women? Maybe stop going for the type of woman who still has hung ups on her past. If she's already bringing up a ex or being hurt by a ex etc etc then you know red flag and should end things. That's why you date. To see things like this. So make sure you don't jump into relationships too soon and really take time to get to know a woman inside and out before committing. If they are still into their ex or hurt by their ex, the cracks should start showing even in the dating phase.

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    • I try my best but these are events like I said that have opened over the course of years, I'm not exactly getting dates left and right, and these are pretty much women who have relayed interested, there are other women but they aren't interested, are taken already, or have red flags that are blatantly obvious, I'm not expecting a drama free relationship and honestly it's hard finding a woman who hasn't been hurt or has some issue with an ex etc or attachment you know, it's frustrating but I do try.

    • I see your frustration. I think it's really a misconception that people think is how relationships just happen easily. I think for most of us relationships are hard to come by. Even for me, almost 23, relationships has never just fallen into my lap. It takes many trial and errors... I met my boyfriend on Tinder because I totally gave up on trying to find men in real life. It just didn't work like they say it does. I have no regrets whatsoever.

Most Helpful Guy

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What Girls Said 1

  • Just leave her if you don't like it. Plain and simple

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    • yea but that won't help me though everybody has a past but I'm just tires of having friends or parents or girlfriends treat me like garbage or use me like a napkin (that's the best comparison I could use) when I do everything right and then these things happen, I'm just frustrated that I see dudes that bully and get what they want and I'm treated like shit by parents and friends who think that I'm a bad guy even after I do everything I can to prove I'm not the ex and I'm still threatened etc, and then the ex walks back into the picture and it's like I don't even exist, you know, I will admit I am not a dominant guy etc I'm more timid but I will say that I know when I see people mistreating me, my current girlfriend I like and I want to work through this but still it's like everything time she brings up her ex and It's like she goes through microbursts of rage lol it's hard to explain taking her rage out on me and she still texts this dude, I'm just confused why text this guy and why

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    • You are fully correct, I guess dating in general is stressful and is pretty much a game of luck

    • That is so true for both genders

What Guys Said 3

  • dude!! thats totally not acceptable. To make you wait while she fucks someone else? dump that shit in gatbage and look for a better one

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  • And your with her because...

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  • Get some serious relationship counseling!! you have a lot of issues dude!!

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    • I don't know if counseling will help, for some odd reason I get the exs anger or rage inflicted on me, I really don't need my self esteem to take another blow and feeling like it's my fault or being blamed for the way someone else treated them.

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    • You are such a positive person, how have you maintained your positive attitude all this time without becoming bitter and negative like a lot of people

    • I can't really say, one thing or another. I am not 'religious' but rather 'Spiritual' and I have met a lot of VERY GOOD people, that have taught me a lot about how to look at things that happen, in life!
      At some point, I don't know when, I came to the realization that my 'life plan' wasn't going to happen, and it seemed that every 'plan' I made, was somehow thwarted.
      I knew some Native Americans, at the time, in college, and they helped me to just CHOOSE, to go with the 'flow of life,' and maybe 'find my place' when the time is right. Some of their Spirituality is very soothing, and comforting, and has helped me to just BE, right now, and not 'NEED to BE' something that I thought, or wanted.
      Not one of those spirit leaders, or cult things, just what has worked. You need to find YOUR way, the thing that works for you!! The best way to find that, is be open-minded, relax, and don't take anything for granted!!
      Maybe you will meet some forest-ranger girl, and decide to do something. . .

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