In relationships is one person ultimately unconsciously really settling for the other or do you believe they both are equally in love with the other?

I have never been in love before so I don't know but in my experience and from talking to others it seems that we always want what we can't have. I have found that every time a guy expresses strong interest in me to the point it comes off to me as needy somewhat I find myself not feeling that attracted to the person. I always like guys who don't come off as needy or even when a guy shows interest and then pulls away that makes me want them more. Its like both sexes like the challenge or hope of getting that person to like you. Recently I went out with someone who convinced me to give them a chance and I found myself really liking the guy. After some point I think he started to lose interest because he ultimately ghosted me and for some other reasons. He was the one who was really chasing me in the beginning. I even told him I didn't think it was going to work at first. I know they say its love when two people finally meet who are drawn to each other, but I feel like whenever I like a guy or start to like a guy they are not as invested in me or they lose interest. So I kinda have to wonder if at some point one person is settling since both sexes seem to like the chase. Because if a guy is showing really strong interest in me I may decide to just go with it and allow myself to love that person. I feel like in a way we choose who we love. I used to pretend to be hard to get and I have realized that its hard to keep that up and it will fall through and that's why guys probably lose interest at some point so I know i need to just show my true self in hopes a guy will like me for me from the beginning. I just wonder if I really need to allow myself to like a guy who is showing strong interest in me rather than the guys who don't since those relationships never work anyway. However, how can I be happy with someone who I didn't like to begin with or feel attracted to and I'm just choosing them because they like me. I just don't understand how this works?


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What Guys Said 2

  • I was in a toxic relationship with a girl. No, there's no settlers or reachers in proper relationships. There are certain exceptions but the compromises aren't huge and not always one sided. And talking about guys, you should go after or give chance to the one YOU feel is right for you, just because a guy shows interest in you doesn't mean he's fit for you, our mind has it's own preferences and choices, use them

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  • Either can be true. Sometime one merges into the pther

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What Girls Said 1

  • Unfortunately, I don't think the love is equal in most cases. That's exactly why most relationships do not work out.

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