Is pressuring a girl to have sex a kind of abusive relationship?

I'm 23 years and I'm still a virgin (for option, I'm saving it for "the one"). I used to date a guy who pressured me a lot to have sex with him in only 6 months of relationship. I ended breaking up with him because this was pissing me off and I think I was stuck in a abusive relationship where he was very selfish and didn't care about my wishes. Do you think I was right?

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  • No
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well if he was smart he should of known your wishes fro the start and moved on... instead he chose to be lazy and pressure you into something you weren't ready for! EPIC FAIL.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Your ex was just selfish Asker, so yes I'd say he was abusive since you told him you wanted to wait and he didn't care.

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What Guys Said 22

  • Yes... You are absolutley correct... Any man who pressures you for sex is only interested in your body... Let me tell you something... As a 37 year old guy who is lonely, and is waiting for the right one... Not going with any woman who shows him interest, waiting for the one is one of the loneliest paths you can take!

    Be WISE, and do not believe a word a man tells you! Test him! Deny him sex at all costs, and at all times, only letting him see you on your honeymoon. Remember! Your virginity is something you can ONLY EVER GIVE ONCE. And only to ONE GUY. You cannot give it to Joe, and then give it also to Mike... So HOLD ONTO IT. MANY women spend entire lifetimes, weeping in their hearts that they gave it to some selfish man who took it AND LEFT.

    I Guarantee the guy that was pressuring you would have left.

    Save it for the man who will stay with you for life. He will be the man that gets to know you intimately without having sex, who spends months, maybe even years growing closer to you in celibacy... Do not give anyone sex, not even 30 seconds before the honeymoon, it has to be done right!

    It is a lonely road but worth it in the end.

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  • I don't think that counts as abuse, but it's your right to wait.

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  • I think you were right in the sense that you were sticking to what you believe in. However, why in that case, did you not date someone who shares the same sentiments?

    On the other hand, I think saving yourself for the one is really stupid and pointless, so in that sense I think you are wrong. But that doesn't excuse your exes behaviour when he knew you had those stupid and pointless beliefs and that you were going to stick to them.

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  • Certainly poor form on his part. You were wise to dump him.

    That being said, I hesitate to call it abusive.

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  • Why date someone who doesn't respect your choice?
    Good choice by the way!

    If you're really saving it for "the one", better wait for the (wedding, not engagement) ring first.

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  • I wouldn't say abusive but yea it was a bad relationship for you.
    And perhaps the dude was a bit selfish.

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  • You did the right thing. Him pressing you for sex when you didn't want to, just shows he was selfish and inconsiderate of you.

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  • Everything is abuse now. Both of you are adults if one wants more sex and the other won't accommodate that you are both free to move on.

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  • Yes, cause my last ex girlfriend tried doing that with me and it didn't work
    I was not going to fall for her abuse. No girl,. is pressuring me into having sex
    and no guy should do it to any girl. You were right for breaking up with him.

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  • Very abusive, dump this trash.

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  • as soon as that person pressures you foe sex, it is already a red flag and you should stay away from that person. dont try to please the guy even if you like him a lot.

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  • as long as your honest with your sexual views its is all on him for his lack of respect

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  • I voted no. because I think it's not kind of abusive relationship. I think it's more like the abusive relationship.

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  • That's what you call an abusive relationship? 😒

    He has the right to want sex just and much as you have the right not to want it.

    His own fault for dating you though. Personally? I wouldn't have even entered the relationship with you.

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  • If you didn't like the way he was acting, then that's sufficient to end the relationship. Was he abusive? That's a totally different question.

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  • Definitely at least your honest

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  • No man should pressure you to have sex with him. You did the right thing and waiting especially for Marriage is key. I believe the one will come soon when you at lease expected.

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  • 23 or 25? he was not serious, to begin with, he found out the hard way. he did not know when to shut up and you did not know when to kick him.

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  • Well u just waisted his time and yours..

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  • Another one playing the virgin card again I see. Yes I would say that guy was definitely abused. 6 months God damn it! Was he a masochist? Gees! Yeah you destroyed that guy.

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    • Hahahahaha but really if he wanted sex so much and it was obviously not going to happen, why not just break up? Same question for her...

  • Right to break up yes.

    Was It abusive? Possibly but not based on what you said. He's allowed to want a sexual relationship just as much as you're allowed to not want one.

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    • If she told him she wanted to wait upfront, then he shouldn't have gotten with her.

    • @SovereignessofVamps yes he shouldn't have. Or he should have dumped her much sooner.

      That said she said she's waiting for 'the one' so he might have spent some time seeing if possibly he was the one. He was not.

What Girls Said 11

  • if he'd acted on his sleazy tactics (ie forced himself on you), it'd be rape; if it was words only, then he's a huge douche and you were definitely right to call it quits.

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  • You did good to leave, and me as a woman, i am so proud of you <3

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  • Of course you're right! He didn't have respect for you and if he really cared about you he would have waited. Sex is great, but it isn't everything. Good for you for respecting yourself and waiting.

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  • yes it is

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  • Yes if the person is forcing you to have any type of sexual interactions with them and you are unwilling, it is very abusive and that person should be left to themselves.

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  • I think you were right to leave him. It wasn't a good match of a relationship. but I don't agree that it's an "abusive" relationship. By calling it such, you diminish the cries for help of people in truly abusive relationships.

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  • It is always abusive to be forceful, even if only verbally

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  • No, it's not. He's just being annoying. I have a friends who were in this kind of relationship too she break up with him. I wasn't abuse just very boring for her.

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  • Absolutely right. Such selfish guy isn't worth to love.

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  • You were right about breaking up. I don't think it was abusive within the information you gave here.

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  • You told him you didn't want to, and he kept pressuring you. That's not okay. You did the right thing.

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