No car or money and a guy wants to take me on a date... what should I do?

I'm literally broke. I started my life over and I have nothing. No car or anything. This guy wants to take me on a date but he's 1 hr away from me.
Everything seems a bit too complicated already but he's so sweet... I wish I could date but I have literally nothing to bring to him. No money... can't meet him. No money to take a bus or train.
Should I just tell him we should be friends or just tell him it won't work out at all and apologize?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Here are my thoughts from a relationship coaching lens. Let's take the money issue off the table and ask a couple of questions.

    Why would you be interested in going out with him, besides the fact that he's sweet? What do you know about this guy--enough to be comfortable going out with him? If he had money, how would that make him more or less of a potential boyfriend?

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    • Hm. Well he's sweet, as well as a hard worker.
      I like how he likes similar things to me and I feel like he doesn't judge me.

      Money wise. Hm. I don't know.
      I don't really care if he has it or not... but it's killing me inside that I don't because I've always been independent.

    • Got it. Here are my thoughts then. If you don't care about his money status and your concerns more about your independence, put yourself in his shoes. He doesn't care about your money status, he just wants to get to know you. If he's the sweet hard worker that you say he is, and I believe it, he will ease your concerns on the first date. For women that have been independent in the dating world, the best remedy is to let someone do for you what you have always been able to (and probably wanted to) do for yourself.

      You are not a user so don't beat yourself up for not having the money--your intent is good. Assuming his is to, give the date a chance.

    • Yeah. I'll just let him know the situation and see how it plays out. :/

Most Helpful Girl

  • I say wait until you have the resources to get to him. Or another guy, in case he's not single by then.

    I didn't used to date because of that. And I had a guy insist to take me in his car and pay. Like he kept on and on and asking and I kept saying no because I was broke and he didn't understand I don't like depending on people. Nothing ever happened between us

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What Guys Said 18

  • It's weird cause I think you have what he needs. He asked you to bring yourself on a date and that's it So why the complication

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    • I have no way to get to him... to go on the date. That's what I mean.

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    • @PhilKenSebben weird you can't say ALL women are like that. My last boyfriend was in debt and had nothing. I still cared for him and tried to motivate him to get him back to his feet. He still ended up dumping me and going for the next hot thing..

    • Hence my "in general" language. Even the bell curve has 2.5% on each side. That's still way less than the 95% inside the curve though.

  • If he wants to take you... then sit at your house he needs to supply all the needs of the date you just need to b their... and dont put out on ur first date never lead to anything good... I would never say that to a gurl in RL cause im trying to get some most likely butt... If you jump in to fast.. you dont build the necessary things you need that really matter like can i have a conversation with this person...

    I am telling you when you 80 and he's 80 looks dont matter but if you can't talk to that person or what not now ur really fucked.

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  • Just tell him what you told us -- that you don't have any money to spare. He won't care. He'll just travel to you and make plans that he can afford. It's possible to have a great time while spending little or no money.

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  • Tell him the truth. Don't tell him you two should just be friends because the guy will wonder why he got friendzoned.

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    • So we should just become strangers then?
      Even if I tell him the truth?

    • tell him the truth and see if he still wants to keep going for you even with everything that's going on. Let him decide if it to much or not. Don't just friendzone him as that means he did something wrong

  • Or you could just let him take you on a date. Sounds like you're making it more complicated than it is

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    • But he suggested that we meet up in a certain city since it's midway. But now I can't get around anywhere at all... I literally have nothing to my name. I've always had money but now I don't which is hard for me.

  • Start your relationship on honesty. he's gonna find out eventually if this continues. Tell him you have no money and no car and if he'd be willing to meet in your town.

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  • Wait until he offers to take you out or wait until you can actually have a social life. A social life will obviously require money and transportation, car or public or lifts from friends/bf.

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    • Okay so is the right verbiage to say "hey I don't have any money to have a social life right now so I don't think we can meet? "

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    • What's considered a loser though?

    • Im sure using that word lightly to describe your situation lol... don't pay attention to that
      But someone who just is broke as a joke... well that's silly but it happens. just make it look temporary is what Im saying

  • tell him the truth you never know he might come up with an even better plan of spicing up the date to fit you in

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  • No money for even a bus or a train? Jeez, woman! Where did you blow your money at? See if he can meet you in your area. That way, he won't have to pick you up and you could still go on a date with him and not turn him down.

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    • Didn't blow my money anywhere. Came from an emotionally abusive home. Moved to another state to start over but this state is huge and hard to get around. I get constant interviews but don't even have enough to get around.

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    • I'll have to search some more.
      Places do hire but for some reason cities outside of where I am call me.
      I just finished a job interview and I know I got the job but it's so far away it's just impossible. -_-
      I'll have to look more and be patient I guess...
      I'll have to put dating on hold.. see if he'll wait or not.

    • Have you asked the potential employer if they can front you some money - at least enough for the first month of either bus fees or a car rental? I know it's not common and it's no guarantee that they will, but you don't seem to have a choice if no place more closer to you won't hire you.

  • I used to think that matters too. It doesn't. Just make sure he knows both points so he can adjust his plan. Likely he'll just pick you up.

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    • An hour away though?
      I've never heard of guys driving that far for a girl and I would feel absolutely like crap if I ever had a guy drive that far. Actually I don't know if that's normal or not. I never have guys pick me up for dates.

  • Bring him intimacy

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  • Just tell him what you're telling us.

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    • That it's a money issue and that it won't work?

    • Just tell him about the money issue and your concerns and work it out like an adult.

  • Why not be honest about your situation and see if he likes you enough to still date you?

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  • At least try honestly explaining your predicament. I know you women will shut it down if the guy is broke, but men aren't as materialistic about their partner.

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    • But like this is below just broke. I'm basically homeless. What can I bring? I feel like I should try it given my circumstances who would want someone who has nothing?

    • At least be up front with him. He's not going to insult you. He's not going to get mad at you. Let him at least know what the situation is and if it's too much for him then let him be able to decide that. Don't decide it for him.

    • Yeah.
      I've just been burned to much in the past that idek what to expect anymore. Everything is about money, status and looks these days. I've never been materialistic and never judged anyone on how much money they've had. But when you hit rock bottom it's a different story.

  • Be sincere. Tell him that you In pickle maybe next time? He will know what to do.

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  • If I was rich, I wouldn't care if the girl was broke. I would be pissed if she was a gold digger, though.

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  • just tell him you're not in the point inf your life where you can actively date/go out

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  • Just tell him what you have just asked and see what happens

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What Girls Said 3

  • Be upfront and tell him your situation. Everyone faces hard times at some stage in their lives. So see if you can both come to some sort of compromise first , before telling him it's best to be just friends.

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  • Tell him everything you just said! It was perfect! Honest, and with pure intentions. Then you can see what he feels.

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  • tell him

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