I'm NOT attracted to girls who WOULD be attracted to me. What do I do?

So here's a bit of a paradoxical question. I'm a nerd. I don't necessarily wear it on my sleeve, but it isn't hard to figure out. I love video games, and board games, and I belong to a handful of fandoms. And I am painfully aware of how unattractive some of those things are. Now those things are not the defining feature of my life, but I imagine that they are a deterrent to girls, who aren't interested in guys like that. I'm also very sarcastic, and am just a constant joker. I have several weird ticks that would also be unattractive, such as being disgusted by nail polish (seriously I'm grossed out just typing about it, and I don't even want any of you to address this part). I've only ever had one girlfriend, and she had to ask me out, and I loved her so deeply, and fawned on her, that when her "depression" cause her to isolate herself and break up with me, I wallowed in despair for nearly a year. To this day I'm still not sure I would say no if she tried to come back to me. The point of that is if you show me a little bit of love, I'll obsess. The point of ALL of this, is to illustrate all of the ways I'm unattractive. I've been told that I am cute, and that if I lost some of the baby fat on my face I'd be decently attractive. (I'm really skinny so the baby fat makes me look really young) I'm also a (fairly) successful actor, and a musician. I sing, play the piano, the guitar, the ukulele, etc... The thing is any girl who would want a guy like me, I automatically regard as being unattractive. Typically when I think of the kind of girl who would like me I think of mouth breathing, anime loving nerdy girls. And I'm just not attracted to them. Shallow as it is, I really like pretty girls with kind eyes, who are mature enough not to like the things I like. I admit that sometimes there are nerdy girls, who are also pretty, and smart, and mature. But they're unicorns and are usually already taken, and I'm way too shy to ask a girl out in the first place. Help me.

I'm also semi masochistic (emotionally not physically), so my ideal woman is someone who hates me at first and is way out my league, but then one day comes around to me. Kinda like schmidt and Cece on New Girl.


Most Helpful Girl

  • It's fine to have standards, but it's kind of hypocritical of you to expect something that you're not willing to change about yourself. If you really don't like something about you then change it, otherwise learn to accept it, which in turn will make you more willing to accept the other person's flaws. Your problem sounds less to be with looks and more to do with confidence which in my opinion is easier to pull off. Start by owning up to your interests and hobbies. Before I met my husband he was a chubby gamer, but he never carried himself sloppily. By the time I met him he was not thin but a lot less chubby, had a gorgeous beard to hide his baby face, and was still very much a gamer. Overall, he was confident and that drew me in the most. Little did he know that I was also a former WOW player. Now we game together and haven't let go of ourselves because we know the importance of looking good and how it contributes to our confidence.


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What Girls Said 3

  • So if an ugly asked you out, but she had all your interests, you'd say no?

    • IIIIIIIII'd probably go on at least one date. I don't know though. I've only ever been asked out once, and it lead to a year and half long relationship. A lot of people would argue that SHE was ugly, but I thought she was the most beautiful creature on the planet

  • Sorry, I enjoy mouth breathing

    • Haha me too honestly. Like I say, I'm not putting myself above those kinds of girls, I'm right there with them. My dream is to fly above my station.

    • Show All
    • And have a great rack 👌

    • yeah thats what i meant to say.

  • Tl;dr

    Take what you can get.


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