Girls, girlfriend says we are practically friends with benefits because I don't pay 100% for meals?

We've been dating for over a year and I would always pay 100% for everything. Food, entertainment, MMA fights, concerts, etc. I drive us everywhere as well. I don't ask her for much of anything except a few things that really bother me mostly involving hygiene. For instance, she lives with her mother and its immaculate except for her room and her bathroom which are both filthy. I'm talking stains everywhere, blood on the toilet seat, empty cups all over the place, clothes on the floor, never vacuums etc. I would ask her to be cleaner which she wouldn't do. If I really pushed the subject she would say I'm trying to be too controlling. Then she started showering like twice a week. It grossed me out and I asked her to shower once a day. She would lie to me and say she showered last night when I could clearly tell from her greasy hair she hadn't. So we got into an argument over it all and I decided I wasn't going to be paying 100% for meals if she wasn't going to do things that I thought were very reasonable for me. So couple arguments later she caves in and we are now doing 50/50. It really bothers her and she says she feels like I'm not contributing or trying in the relationship because I'm not taking care of her 100%. Mind you she approaches 100k a year and I don't make half that. She says if I truly loved her I would have no problem wanting to "try harder" in the relationship and pay 100%. That's how she puts it now. Paying for meals has now become trying in the relationship to her and caring about her. I just don't see it as fair anymore and feel like she should want to contribute as well if she values my companionship. She says I'm using her and lying that I love her and what not. Anyways, we are now again in a fight currently and it's over the paying for meals thing. I really don't see her point of view as fair anymore and feel kind of trapped in this situation.

Thoughts on my situation and how to handle it? Am I wrong in how I think?


0|0
63

Most Helpful Girl

  • Your girlfriend is expecting way too much of you. I mean, what does she offer to the relationship besides complaining that you don't pay all the time? She is being unfair and unreasonable in my opinion.
    Also, your girlfriend sounds like a very unhygienic person. I don't understand how you want to be intimate with someone like that.

    0|0
    1|0

Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, the hygiene thing would gross me out, too. You're right about that. Showering only twice a week? That's gross.

    As for the paying thing, I'm sorry but I kinda have to agree with her. I'm in the same situation, my girlfriend makes considerably more than me but I'm happily paying for 100% and that includes much more than just meals. In our society that's expected of men and the fact that she makes 100k a year really doesn't change that.

    2|0
    0|0

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 5

  • She makes that much and still lives with her mom , how old is she? A little messy Is understandable but blood on the toilet seat is disgusting , she feels no shame in letting you see that? Her making a big deal about regularly bathing is also a bit weird , is she depressed or just lazy? I think her personal hygiene would definitely be an issue here and its not controlling of you to try and help her with it. have you asked her why she feels as though you need to care for her and pay for everything when she knows she makes so much more than you? Her lack of hygiene and throwing fits because she has to pay for her own things shows her maturity level, do you see yourself settled down with her 10 years from now , if not , why bother staying with someone acting as selfish as this? She may be a great girl but if you dont think this is going to change, I'd say break things off

    0|0
    1|0
  • i think you are handling it good. she sounds pretty inconsiderate, selfish and spoilt. You should expect a level of cleanliness from your partner so you are not wrong there. It sounds like she is trying to manipulate you and control you. id never expect my man to pay for everything because we both should contribute to every part of the relationship. you are 35, so how old is your partner? do you really love her?

    0|0
    1|0
    • She's 30. Yes I do love her. I really feel like she's the one despite the flaws we share. Her hygiene has improved the past month regarding showers. Can't say the same for her room or bathroom. She's a very emotional person and I know in her head she really believes I don't care about her because of the 50/50. It's not about the money to her. She just sees it as me not wanting to put effort towards the relationship. I just can't seem to break that mentality for her.

    • Show All
    • Yes, I would say very.

    • i dont know. she's seem like a selfish sook. she should be a woman not a little girl. but that is only my opinion. sorry

  • Just dump her. she's a dirty whore.

    0|0
    2|0
    • Actually if she demoted herself to a friend with benefit. Keep her there and start dating other girls.

  • in addition I see you didn't tell everyone you gamble for a living and that is your one and only job.

    0|0
    0|0
    • in addition I guess you would know what insecurity is since you've told me your own insecurities ranging from the size of your dick to losing in gambling.

    • and you cheated on me by keeping and not telling me the dirty text pics your ex sent you when we were officially dating. (ie a pic of her naked ass)

  • the real whore is TacosRAwesome

    1|0
    0|0
    • and you sound like a douche bag Jaey ranting about the one you love online.

    • Fuck you Jason! then why did you keep fucking me and telling me you loved me if you were disgusted with me the whole time?

    • what the hell does that say about you?

What Guys Said 2

  • I would dump her. She has poor hygiene, is emotionally manipulative, expects you to pay 100% despite the fact she earns considerable more and then has the audacity to say that anything short of you paying 100% for everything is you not trying. =.=

    0|0
    1|0
  • Omfg she sounds like my ex but your girlfriend is worse because she's expecting so much from you. You need to either you guys have a serious talk or you break up with her. She seems like a leech who is dilusional.

    0|0
    1|0
Loading... ;