We've been dating for over a year and I would always pay 100% for everything. Food, entertainment, MMA fights, concerts, etc. I drive us everywhere as well. I don't ask her for much of anything except a few things that really bother me mostly involving hygiene. For instance, she lives with her mother and its immaculate except for her room and her bathroom which are both filthy. I'm talking stains everywhere, blood on the toilet seat, empty cups all over the place, clothes on the floor, never vacuums etc. I would ask her to be cleaner which she wouldn't do. If I really pushed the subject she would say I'm trying to be too controlling. Then she started showering like twice a week. It grossed me out and I asked her to shower once a day. She would lie to me and say she showered last night when I could clearly tell from her greasy hair she hadn't. So we got into an argument over it all and I decided I wasn't going to be paying 100% for meals if she wasn't going to do things that I thought were very reasonable for me. So couple arguments later she caves in and we are now doing 50/50. It really bothers her and she says she feels like I'm not contributing or trying in the relationship because I'm not taking care of her 100%. Mind you she approaches 100k a year and I don't make half that. She says if I truly loved her I would have no problem wanting to "try harder" in the relationship and pay 100%. That's how she puts it now. Paying for meals has now become trying in the relationship to her and caring about her. I just don't see it as fair anymore and feel like she should want to contribute as well if she values my companionship. She says I'm using her and lying that I love her and what not. Anyways, we are now again in a fight currently and it's over the paying for meals thing. I really don't see her point of view as fair anymore and feel kind of trapped in this situation.
Thoughts on my situation and how to handle it? Am I wrong in how I think?
Most Helpful Girl
Your girlfriend is expecting way too much of you. I mean, what does she offer to the relationship besides complaining that you don't pay all the time? She is being unfair and unreasonable in my opinion.
Also, your girlfriend sounds like a very unhygienic person. I don't understand how you want to be intimate with someone like that.0
Most Helpful Guy
Well, the hygiene thing would gross me out, too. You're right about that. Showering only twice a week? That's gross.
As for the paying thing, I'm sorry but I kinda have to agree with her. I'm in the same situation, my girlfriend makes considerably more than me but I'm happily paying for 100% and that includes much more than just meals. In our society that's expected of men and the fact that she makes 100k a year really doesn't change that.2