Do guys really pick personality over looks?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • From a relationship coaching perspective, the answer is: all things considered equal, yes. This applies to girls and guys. In other words, no one is going to be in a relationship with someone that they do not find attractive. I've done relationship coaching for 10 years (500+ clients) and I have yet to see it. BUT, if someone meets attractive people and some of them have wonderful personalities while others have ugly personalities, they will pick the person with wonderful personalities even if they are 'less' attractive than those with ugly personalities.

    We can't invent chemistry and thus the idea that someone would (happily) be with someone that they did not find attractive but who had a wonderful personality is not realistic. The last thing that I would add is the beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • As a rule, no. I think looks are just as important. If they aren't attracted to you, I don't think they'll feel compelled to get to know you.

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    • This is so-so, I've been compelled to get to know some pretty nice girls just because they are great to talk to. But being said I havn't really been turned on by them, maybe a few times but that's normal lol.. I think personality can have an initial draw appeal but maybe not as strong as looks, since there is nothing that like a board pointing at you saying 'good person'

    • @FusionGuy Yep. I think generally, guys care about personality but only after a girl is attractive to them. Generally.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 28

  • For me there's first a binary question:

    Is the girl attractive to me? Yes/no?

    Whether she's attractive is based on more outward qualities like physical size and shape, how she smiles, her voice, the way she carries herself, her posture, body language, and the lighter subjects she talks about.

    If the answer is "yes", then personality takes over completely. Among every girl where I answer "yes", I'd choose the one who I find most interesting and compatible with as a character.

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  • At your age, not much. When you are older, you will find more guys that do. The really sad thing is that a lot of men who are in their 40's and up never look at much other than looks (this is what I've been told by my female friends and a few I met on online dating). You will see the change as you get older.

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  • I don't know about picking one over the other. Appearance is relative and set in stone. You both age together and look either pretty or ugly while aging at relatively the same rate

    Personality can be moulded and changed to a certain extent. For example is a women is not very much into cooking, she will over time probably adopt this characteristic. But her face will always stay the same. It will age and change but so will you, making it relative

    I use to think personality was more important, but Now based on the above rationale, appearance might seem like the more important one --> and rightfully so, as most people tend to pick attractive before personality --> of course this is also taking into consideration you have a positive dynamic, no one is going to date someone you don't blend well with just because they are attractive

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  • If he is dating online (no pictures) or she was a friend first... is the only times that a guy cares more about personality.

    99% of all people initially flirt with/hit on, the people they are physically attracted to. If they have chemistry, that is what makes it more than just sex.

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  • Yes. It depends on the guy. Age can also play a factor (ie, younger guys tend to be more about looks). For me, I've always been one that needs BOTH. You don't have to be a model, but I have to find you attractive as well as the personality.

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  • Yes. I think most guys would rather be with a kind and thoughtful, average looking girl than a beautiful bitch.

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  • Sorry to burst your bubble yes they do.

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  • Looks draw you in. But the personality is what makes you stay. US men are visual creatures. We need to be attracted to you. So ideally you need both.

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  • Personally, yes.
    You're only 13 though, so what are you worried about?
    Just started puberty, relax!

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  • Looks are the first filter, but after that personality matters most.

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  • The older we get, the more we do that.

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  • I think they come for looks but stay for personality.

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  • Why wouldn't they? there's make up for faces but not for personalities. And if she's still ugly there's always doggy style. Just have to find a good personality with a good ass.

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  • there needs to be a base line level of attraction, i dont care how cool a girl is if i don't find her attractive its not happening. but with that being said, i'll take a cool 6 over a bitchy 10 ANY day

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  • Some do, some don't. As a rule looks trumps all else, unless she's a total bitch then that trumps even looks and makes guys generally run for the hills. Ugly but nice personality = friend zone material.

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  • for just sex: no. for a partner, yeah.

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  • yeah but teenagers don't go for personality. they go only for looks mostly.

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  • Ummm no...

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  • yeah, I'm sorry but yeah

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  • No its just a ratio between both

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  • some do
    some don't
    depends on the guy

    but at your age its all about looks

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  • generally yes... but actually i find myself to have a negative attitude towards girls that completely miss my imaginations. Even if I try to not... there is allways this judgement

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  • Yes, i pick a girls personality over her looks.. Just type of guy i am, not all are like me.

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  • Looks get an interview. Personality gets the job

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  • For me it's a combination, 50/50

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  • Honestly I think it needs to be both for a relationship to work. We all have a certain type of look we like in the opposite sex but without a good personality it wouldn't work.

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  • Generally no. They pick for looks, and stick around for personality.

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    • Hell I'm 103 and still go for looks. Personality doesn't mean much, neither what her day job is or what her dreams are, though I'll humor her and act like I'm interested if she's hot enough.

  • NO. Generally never.

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What Girls Said 7

  • Depends on the guy, Some, but not most go for Personality other's look's, eventually after so many going for look's and finding those*in my Foreigner voice* ''Cold as Ice'' type's yeah they do. it's rare to have both though. You have hella time you're only a pre-teen sweetie don't worry.

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  • varies from guy to guy.

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  • Depends on the guy but women are more likely to choose personality over looks

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  • don't we all 😂😂

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  • personality is important but it won't get my attention if the person is not handsome

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  • they usually go for the appearance rather than goid personalitu. sad but true

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  • Not at your age (if they're the popular guys).

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