Why are men so confused or is it not confusion?

my ex and i have a baby together, haven't been together since i was pregnant. there is 2500 mile distance, so when he came out last time to visit our child we had sex and all, it was great, then he left but continued to say he missed me, saw himself with me, etc. he pulled back 3wks later, i was confused, so i did too. he is coming out here again and i want to make sure that doesn't happen again, so i told him that i need to make boundaries for myself and
that he can't stay with me and he needs to get his own car because i dont want to be playing "family" again and getting hurt all over again. he said this today after i told him that, "I'm truly sorry about last time. Obviously I still have some sort of feelings for you. I know it's not healthy or right. I knew it was probably best to end whatever was going on between us. ... I'll rent a car then" its like his words just keep hurting me. not healthy? not right? why did he mess with me. and plus, if i would of let him he would be staying with me and we would be playing "family" again. am i confused or is he. he is moving out here in may.


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What Guys Said 2

  • I think he's really confused about his situation, you, his feelings, his life etc.. I also think that he's trying to read any sign from you that he can get. Guys usually pull away like you described to think about things and decide how he feels or what he wants or what he should do going forward. So he's obviously been thinking a lot about your guys and when he hears you say

    " that i need to make boundaries for myself and
    that he can't stay with me and he needs to get his own car because i dont want to be playing "family" again and getting hurt all over again. "

    To him that could be you pointing out how your guys relationship keeps hurting you and has become a toxic cycle between you two and that you want it to end and need him to go away. So that confirms to him what he should be doing, walking away from the romantic aspect.

    Just my thoughts...

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  • Who said we are confused? Everything we do has meaning to it. Just like female actions dont make sense to us, our actions dont make sense to you, but it makes total sense to other guys...

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    • so explain his actions then?

    • 😒Hell no... thats snitching.
      All i can say is that he better hurry up and make his decision, or else you won't be the only frustrated one.

What Girls Said 1

  • he is not worth it. you need to move on. dont ever sleep with him and dont let his bum ass lay up with you. all he needs to do is be a father. he's not confused at all. he's doing the classic shit all bums with baby mamas do. he knows since y'all have a baby, your gonna have lingering feelings and probably want a family, so he plays on that so he can have someone let him live for free. he's not confused, he's playing the game.

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