If your FB tells you that she wants to get to know you, and do the actual thing without rushing, what would be your reaction?

I and this guy I met on Tinder were casually having *regular* sex since 2.5 months. During the last couple weeks, it became more than just fucking and we started grabbing lunch or dinner or breakfast together. He started staying over at my place, sharing private details about his life, his friends, his family and his future plans, as well as paying attention to what i say and actually listening to me. So I decided to ask him if he wants to be exclusive in sex so that we can experiment more freely without having STI fears in mind, and do the actual dating thing to get to know each other. Do fun stuff outside the room like hiking, going to thrift or record stores, walking on the beach etc. He said he is planning to move away to a city in earliest 2-3 months (when he finds a job), and asked me if I am aware of that there will be distance if things get serious. I said I am not asking him to make a commitment, I am asking him to spend actual time with me and put some effort into actual dating thing. I said it can go both ways, we can either be friends or lovers, or we can hate each other, but it is worth to give it a try since we have a lot of common hobbies, and stuff, and we can think of distance if it comes to that point. He said being exclusive means planting for future as long term partners. Well I said that's why I specify as "exclusive in sex". He is kind of awkward shy guy and I am his 4th girl he ever slept with. We both are 27. His personality is INTP. I told him that he needs to tell me if he doesn't wanna see me again, it is a yes or no question but he left it in limbo and did not give me an answer. I told him if he wants to see me, he needs to initiate and text me for Saturday as we always hang out full Saturday and Sunday and sleep together. If he doesn't text me, I won't be texting, so good luck to him in his life and endeavors. He didn't say anything like bye forever, or he won't text me, or he will text me.. Nothing.

Could you tell me what is going on in his mind when I did not even ask for full commitment but rather wanted to spend time outside with him to do fun stuff like friends and see where it goes. Why does he bother himself when he dont even know for sure he will find a job back in his hometown? Any actual explanation? I find this odd when the answers is too easy to give as either "i dont wanna see you" or "let's hang out do fun stuff and see nobody know what happens in 2-3 months".


Most Helpful Guy

  • In my opinion 1 of 2 things could have happened
    1) He is shy when it comes to relationships and he just wanted to be fwb's
    2) He just doesn't know how to go about this situation.

    I feel where you are coming from about how easy it is to answer your questions. but perhaps its hard for him.

    • What i don't understand is that if i were in his shoes, if i were not interested in the person i am fucking at all, I would not ask if she is aware of the possible future. I feel like that shows he may be interested.

      Then he stayed over even more without saying anything lay next to me. I dont get why it is too hard to say Let's just fuck or let's have fun or i dont wanna see you again/ He could even text me, but he does not.

    • Show All
    • Lelelel. Happens. Thanks I hope it will be positive lol :D

    • He's not texting, and i saw he is back online on OKC after almost 4 weeks.

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