I hit my boyfriend and he hits me back?

He wouldn't tell me anything so I grabbed his wrist and was saying tell me and then he grabbed my hair and pulled it so I started punching him then he smashed me on his car and punched me in the face chocked me etc but I don't know what to do I can't call the police or anything because there's no service and I do live with him and I don't want to leave because I can't take my farm animals with me and I'm afraid he will hurt them and I'm too ashamed to tell my family what's been happening this isn't the first time

Updates:
I didn't really hit him first I just grabbed his wrist in a playful way and he pulled my hair and I defended myself and as in no service meaning I live in the country so no phone coverage

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Most Helpful Guy

  • cdn.meme.am/cache/instances/folder866/63167866.jpg

    ANYone who hits me is allowed to do so so that what I do next is self defense, and if all I did was break your hand, you'd be lucky, and the only reason you'd get off so easy is if I think I might be charged with excessive self defense for doing more or I don't have a reliable alibi prepared for my whereabouts being elsewhere.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you are not sure where to start, or if you just want to talk to someone about whether your relationship is abusive, I think you should just STEP OUT and try to reach to your family, YES you might be ashamed and it's normal, but trust me, your family will be more than happy to give you a hand and they will be even more happy that you reached out for help.

    It is very common for abusers to lead victims to believe that the abuse is the victim's fault, don't you ever excuse him or blame yourself, it's not your fault.

    You should immediately form a plan to end the relationship immediately, before it's too late.
    Regardless of your love for one another, how long you've been together, whether you have kids or pets, or whether you live together, a relationship that involves physical or psychological abuse needs to be over, because you deserve SO MUCH BETTER.
    TRUST ME...
    If you need something feel free to follow...
    Wish you the best luck,

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 15

  • The time spent asking GAG should be employed in moving out plans while making nice to your idiot live-in. You are shopping for a strong family with plenty of defense fist power WHEN (not if) he follows you in revenge for being "disrespected" in moving out. This new family needs to move in like an army to gather up all your stuff & animals in one day and you to never return to this acre of Hell. Now get on with the planning, for this life only gets worse for you and everything you protect.
    The police or even family can do little in a "domestic" dispute anyway, they just break it up then say spend the night elsewhere to cool off. Even a restraining order is a joke and don't give this when living together still.
    How did you get suckered into this living deal?
    UK? USA?

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  • Why did you grab his wrist? He grabs your hair because you grabbed his wrist- reasonable response and then you start punching him so he smashes you on his car... do you not see how this escalated?

    Is this a serious question?

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    • Make no mistake- he still took it too far. He sounds like the angry violent sort. I would have tried to cuff you to prevent you from hitting me. Not push you into a car. My only point is that this was not unprovoked.

  • my first response would be "don't hit him if you don't want to get hit back : equality" but my second response is "what a dick, what he did was completely out of proportions... "

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  • You should tell your family. They will help you.

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  • you both are made for each other lol

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  • move out, sell your pets and in the future never lay your hands on a boyfriend. but what he did was over kill

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  • Thats life. Stop living your dream where you punch people and dont get a punch back. If you hit someone you deserve a comeback

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  • if this is the first time this happened make no big deal about it

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  • Tell your family if it happens again. Fuck shame.

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  • You should straight up leave. Your farm animals can look after themselves, probably better than you can. Also, report his ass to the police. Don't know what you mean about there's no service.

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  • Police for what. Sounds like a fair fight. Act right or get smacked right.

    Farm animals? lol

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  • You acted aggressively first. as a result, he had the right to defend himself. You would have been the one arrested as the primary aggressor.

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  • Either split up and get counselling or both of you get counselling.

    You both have anger management problems that feed off each other.

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  • get out of there. send someone to get your pets. fighting isn't healthy.

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  • Violence, from either one of you isn't right. You have to tell someone though and get out of that situation. Have him leave if you can't. Tell family, call the police (you may need to get a restraining order on him?), GET OUT!! Maybe you have to sell the animals and your place, whatever you need to do but this is not a good situation or relationship for either one of you.

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What Girls Said 7

  • Either you get something to hit him with so hard he backs off and gains fear of you (now you have to sleep with one eye open)
    or you move everything out of there
    DUH
    You can pretend to sell off the stock while preparing a new place to live that offers physical protection from him & his revenge.

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  • Listen to people when they tell you to LEAVE. Its best cause abusive relationships dont end well if you keep sticking around thinking it would get better!!

    Leave gracefully when he's NOT around to avoid any fights. Dont worry about the animals, cause its your safety and life FIRST!

    Hope everything works out, be safe and be STRONG!!

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  • What's the question? You're both F'd in the head. Seems like a match made in heaven.

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  • I'm extremely surprised that a woman your age doesn't know better.
    Sadly it's very much a case of "tit for tat".

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  • If my boyfriend hit me he can bet his ass I will hit him back... so don't be scared or anything cause girl you asked for it

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  • Tell your parents

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  • Get out of that house right away. Do you have a neighbor? Will they help you gather your animals so that you can keep them there until you can get phone service and take them to a friend or family members home?

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