What is the best way to come out as bisexual to my boyfriend?

So i've been dating this guy for a while and i don't know if i tell him, when i tell him...😰😰





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Most Helpful Girl

  • Wear a t shirt saying I heart (picture of a rooster) & (picture of a cat).
    He should get it. :)

    On a more serious note, have a chat with him and tell him that you also like girls, however they are not competition because you love / like him. (Whatever point of relationship you are at)

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What Guys Said 58

  • I would be like... you are what? OMG.. are you kidding me? Come here and give me a hug... I love you! HA

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  • If he truly cares about you, he shouldn't care as long he knows that you are loyal to him and that you love only him. I would suggest bringing the conversation up casually asking about what he thinks about bi-sexuality. This should at least get the conversation flowing. When you get the chance. Tell him you have something to say (at this point he might already suspect something so just roll with it) then let him know you are bi. Let him know it doesn't change anything between you two and let him know that it is a personal thing that you don't want others to know. (I read another comment about having your girl-friends over) if he understands this is a personal thing I'm sure he will be accepting. If he loves you then things shouldn't change between you. You never know, he may even see it as a positive. 3 some?

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  • I don't know. If I was in your situation I wouldn't even say anything so long as I knew that I could/ would be monogamous.

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    • My boyfriend new I was bi since we first started talking so I don't know how to bring that up later into the relationship

  • there's this girl and if she sees a great ass or another girl that looks good (be it in real life or in a picture), she immediately says something about it...
    Not just "nice ass", but more like "this girl is to die for" "look how fucking perfect she looks" "man, she is so hot" "and "those eyes, imagine looking into those eyes all day long".
    more like adoration and she would look at the other girl's pictures for minutes.

    It seemed strange because based on the things she was saying it was more into lust-like, wanna-touch-her and play with her, instead of just "a girl appreciating another girl"

    So next time she said something about a girl, I told her "admit it, you would do her". She simply answered "yeah, I would" and laughed for a brief moment.

    So I assume you can do that as well and talk about girls in front of your boyfriend. But do not ask him what he thinks of this girl's or that girl's ass. He will think you test him.

    If it happens for you to mention girls long enough and how they look, he will get it. Though he might also think you want to bring another girl in bed.

    Another option is to simply find the right moment to talk about past.
    And then you casually say you dated 3 guys and 2 girls. This is the most direct approach you can have. It's a clean, sharp cut, no room for him to think about something else or make wrong assumptions. He will get the idea: she dated 2 girls, she likes girls as well.

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  • Are you more 'Liking' her, than him, or just unsure, and wanting both?
    Personally, I don't have issues with her being 'Bi', as long as she is open about it.
    Why should I have a problem with her having a female friend, that she likes, in some 'different' way? Yeah, I would prefer to be her only, and give her every joy that she wants, but what if that isn't possible?
    Maybe it isn't the physical acts, but being with someone, like her best GF?
    I can't compete with that, so why bother? It is something she likes, and doesn't bother me, because I know she likes certain things, with me, that her girlfriend can't do.
    Sexuality, and 'Orientation' has become such an issue, lately!! WHY?

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  • "I like licking pussy as much as you"

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  • What are his feelings about bisexual people, especially women? If you don't know, that might be a good conversation with which to start.

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  • Tell him the truth. Tell him that you aren't getting from him what you want, and you think you can get it from a woman... Tell him he can never fully have your heart, your devotion, or your affection. Tell him you are selfish. Tell him you are too closed off to be vulnerable to him and him alone. Just be honest :)

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    • God thats not it i love him, and im with him rn and thats what matter i just didn't want to lie to him

  • Tell him in person and make sure u have an easy escape route. Tell him at your place instead of his because u have a home advantage as a just incase he doesn't take it well.
    That kind of info is best on a non date night since it's personal. If he loves you, than he will be able to overlook it.

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  • well the perfect time is during the threes*** that you will set up for him with another girl :) :) just kidding
    seriously though , I think any time that you are in a good mood both bring it up.

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  • Tell him you've been struggling with unwanted same-sex attraction, and that it makes you insecure at time about committing to him as fully as you would like to. Then, be honest, and get counseling - before it makes you do anything stupid.

    Don't worry, they're not gonna electro-shock you against your will. That's just Hollyweird libel. Also, see if he is supportive. If he wants you to get better, but is understanding of your issues and not overly hard on you, then there may still be a chance. If he's having none of it, then it was never meant to be in the first place.

    He may already consider this a betrayal, even if you haven't cheated physically yet. How he handles that jealousy will go quite a ways to determining whether you stick with him and get help, or carry on without him and get help anyway.

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  • Probably thinking too much into this. most guys would find it hot. so it'll probably be easier than you think. When i tell people its usually when it just flows naturally in conversation, you can always find ways to slip it in if your thinking about it.

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  • hahaha I think a lot of guys would be thrilled. The current girl I'm dating is bi and when she told me it was a huge turn on, because you know... threesomes :D

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  • You could bring your girlfriend with you to bed with him.

    When I was dating two bisexual girls (I've dated more than two, but these are two at the same time), they said they liked girls early on when we were getting to know each other. I asked the second one if she would like to meet the first one, and then I asked the first one if she would like to meet the second one. They both said yes, and we all ended up having great times together. (There were logistics involved since they lived in different cities, so this was not every day).

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  • I think we are all a little more accepting of girls liking other girls. So first thing is to not put so much pressure on yourself, or anticipate him taking it wrong.

    One thing to do FIRST is to just point out another girl and tell him what you think of her, and then ask what he thinks of her. This way you can ease yourself into that conversation. Just be careful, he might think it's a test and say nothing about the other girl.

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  • sorry I'm sending this privately.
    well ofcourse it is going to crush him and ofcourse you'll feel terrible about it all. so be true to your feelings and have a one on one sit down. tell him how you feel and ask him to speak his feelings. end up as great friends and not a failed relationship. best of luck brave soul :)

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  • Well guys fantasize about lesbians, show him some lesbian porn and ask him what he thinks of the lesbian population. Than you'll pretty much have your answer. I hope it really works out for you.

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  • just tell him like this. "i have to talk to you about something important. please just sit down for a minute with me." then tel him

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  • It would depend on the relationship you have with him. (as with every relationship question) You should ask yourself "does this really matter to us and our relationship?" If it's a huge part of what makes you be you then it is obviously something you should talk about.

    Some men can feel emasculated if you come out as bisexual after dating him for a while. The feeling of "I'm not good enough for you" makes men feel pretty terrible. On the other side, if he takes it well you can both share a mutual appreciation for the female form and "bro it out" together if you don't mind that being part of your relationship.

    I'm not saying you should hide it, but be gentle if or when you decide to come out.

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  • What is the best time? No matter when... If he is open mind... You might be ok... If he is not comfortable... If he wants to end the relationship. Please understand that and accept for what happened. I know that some ladies weren't comfortable in finding their guy was a bisexual too.

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  • Do you expect it to be a problem for him?

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    • i dont see a problem in it but i dont know...

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    • haha maybe in the future if he does for it haha

  • Even though he may view it as a positive in some ways, he will also see it as representing danger. He now has to worry about whether you really love him or you're transitioning to lesbianism and he's going to become just a dildo, whether you will bring some other woman into the relationship and then he might just get slowly phased out of relevance.

    I think if you really love him, you should address this very natural fear, this conclusion he must surely jump to...

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  • The vast majority of guys won't care at all. Any time a girls told me, its come up in casual conversation.

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  • One day go into his room with your girlfriend, Don't say a word, Lock the door behind you... turn around and both face your boyfriend and start getting naked..

    He'll get the idea

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    • As a guy dating a bi girl, this same exact scenario has passed through my mind countless times. Pray for me man.

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    • do monkeys like bananas? Fuck yea he'd love it.. most likely. I've heard of some guys chocking and not wanting to have a threesome.

    • haha niceπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜†

  • If he isn't happy about who you really are then he isn't the right person for you!

    You shouldn't have to hide who you really are because of someone else.

    Does he like watching lesbian porn?

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    • i have no idea..😐

    • Ask him? What girl doesn't like watching that sort of porn.

      I'm pretty sure every guy deep down would love to see their girlfriend having sex with another girl.

    • ok... ill think about it.😊

  • "hey honey, i used to get naked and get my titties squeezed by another girls in the past also had my vagina licked by them too. is that okay? thank you for understanding me :D"

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  • There are two possible outcomes:

    He will get excited and beg you to cuckold him while sexually engaging with other girls.

    Or he will break up with you, because the only reason a bisexual girl would come out to her boyfriend later in a relationship is because she has her eye on another girl. Because if that wasn't the case, she would have told him before the relationship or not feel the need to tell him at all because she's already dating him.

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  • Unless you're either going to get serious, or you're planning on cheating on him with a girl, he doesn't need to know.

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  • You should tell him, if he loves you he won't mind ❀😊

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  • The truth will out at some point. Be prepared for him to leave you when he finds out. Most guys would leave a bi girl.

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  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 16

  • I think the sooner the better.
    If you tell him later on he will be disappointed I am sure, be honest with everyone from the get go about your sexual orientation.
    Play a fair game, just like you wished the same from your partner.
    Good luck <3

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  • "I don't know if you knew this about me but I've been into girls before as well"

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  • Make sure that he is not a hompphobe, if he is not then you should come out. If he is... dump him! (I'm bi too πŸ˜—)

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  • This is something you should probably just tell him as honestly as possible.

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  • Lol warning he's going to ask for a threesome

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    • Literally the opposite for me. Dont see the appeal in threesoms and the thought of a girl being attracted to other girls would just worrying me (not that she would cheat but because im not a girl and she might not be as attracted to men as women)

    • Honestly a lot of guys would have that insecurity but many see it as an opportunity for more sex.

  • 'I'm bisexual btw'

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  • Just tell him. My boyfriend is fine with me being bi

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  • "hey babe I'm as straight as your dick is when you're around your mother"

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  • I've always wondered why it's important to come out as bisexual if you're in love with your partner? Genuinely curious

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  • Yes tell him and just flat out say it. If he doesn't love you for you then you deserve better.

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  • Girl, just tell him. He'll love it. Don't be surprised though if he asks you for a threesome.

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  • Tell him to see if he would still love you. Better to find out now

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  • .. there's no need to come out as bisexual.. Bisexuals have it great. Bisexuals shouldn't even "come out" try being a lesbian that's a reason to come out, you're not gay you're bisexual. you actually have a choice. YOU'RE LUCKY. bisexuals are so privileged he won't give a fuck, and it makes me so annoyed and jealous. for fucks sake everyone now-days thinks they are bisexual he might just surprise you and be to..

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    • Wrong bisexuals are messed up in the head bisexuals have higher instances of mental disorders bipolar depression etc

  • I don't get why you'd tell him, i mean unless you don't want to be with him anymore, does it really make a difference, you're not suppose to be with or checking out other people while dating someone, it's disrespectful.

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  • Tell him you wanna fuck him and a girl at the same time. FFM always gets guys accepting and excited.

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    • Literally the opposite for me. Dont see the appeal in threesoms and the thought of a girl being attracted to other girls would just worrying me (not that she would cheat but because im not a girl and she might not be as attracted to men as women)

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    • @DanReynolds I am easy. It takes me 7 minutes to squirt.

    • Most girls have a weird mental complex where they csn bring themselves to the mindset to achieve an orgasm, all bs

  • You should have told him about this at the very beginning. What are you going to do if he gets angry and dumps you?

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    • Find someone better. But im lucky he's not like that😊

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    • im still in the closet... but i dont want to scare him away or lie to him... but ill tell him

    • Well if you think he will react bad... better to find out now.

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