What do you think should happen in this situation?

-the girl is a virgin and pretty inexperienced when it comes to relationships/sexual stuff
-the guy is close to 10 years older than her and super experienced obv
-they connect super well on an emotional level/physical level as of now
-his idea of taking it to the next level is sex (in order for him to feel secure with someone)
-her idea of taking it to the next level is being in an exclusive relationship (in order for her to feel secure with someone)

Do you think it could work?

  • The girl should just have sex already
    Vote A
  • The guy should wait for her to be ready as long as it's not super long
    Vote B
  • It's just not guna work
    Vote C
  • You should meet half way
    Vote D
  • Other
    Vote E
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
he's willing to be exclusive with me by the way.. like we aren't seeing other people right now. He is just worried about not being able to get to my level without sex if that makes sense?
He said its not what he's used to. he's used to having sex with someone within the first few dates so this is just super different for him.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sex shouldn't "seal the deal" or be the goal. It should be when both people are ready not just one sided. I like how he isn't pressuring you and you are waiting till you are ready. Tell him you appreciate how he is handling this and that while you aren't ready to have sex yet, you appreciate each other and that is at the same level you are looking for. Also I'll be honest studying up on porn helped me a lot more than when I learned it in sex ed or the talk. Ask him what he likes to do and find some... Research material.

    Connecting at physically and emotionally is hella important it shows they are in sync. Keep getting romantic and lovey-dovey and all that shit, snuggling up against him letting him hold you will give him a great sense of accomplishment (may leave him wanting more but make it clear you aren't ready) maybe consider a hand job if you are courageous enough, itd give him some way to relax. Also you could tell him you are his that helps to.

    Women can tend to be nervous about their first time due to the slight prick they feel, it doesn't last long very short in fact so the first time won't be aggressive (as some guys like) it will be awkward and welcome foreplay to help relax. The biggest obstacle on the first time is fear.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • No, I don't think it could work since the guy is being too demanding. Men should be patient with women who are virgins.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 26

  • talk to him about it, explain to him how you feel and if he's not happy to accept that then maybe he's not the right guy, ultimately you want to be with a guy who's prepared to listen to you and accept you and your decisions. Don't let yourself feel pressured into anything, it's a bad start and start to a relationship if you feel you have to do something you don't really want to do!!

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  • You should meet halfway and have anal 😂

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  • I think the guy should wait until she is ready for sex. But have an honest and respectful conversation about where they draw the line with sex. Maybe the two of them can enjoy fondling each other or going a step or two further without having intercourse. Then they can see if they both agree to the terms or decide if they break up.

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    • weve been doing that lol

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    • We were friends first and we have the same friend group so we didn't want to screw anything up before we knew if anything would happen between us. It was both of our idea. We've been friends for a few months and dated for about a month

    • I would say that you should wait at LEAST two more months with this guy, THEN decide if he is worth it to you.

      And if this is your first time than you might wait a bit longer to find the right guy who will treat you right.

  • If he can't cope with not getting any for a month or two he's not really interested in actual relationship. Ask him to be patient and use this time to figure out if you want him.

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  • omg puppy love. So hawt. 10/10. Please message me?

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  • One of you will need to compromise. Honestly, I wouldn't want to be in a committed relationship with someone I wasn't sexually compatible with. It would feel like being trapped because you've made this commitment to someone who just does not satisfy you.

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  • The guy needs sex to live. The girl's need for sex is nil. So either the girl needs to be willing to have sex or the guy needs to refrain from wanting sex. Another option is they should make their relationship permanent first before having sex. So that the girl will have no objection for having sex with him.

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  • Patience is key. He shouldn't rush the girl on the sex part.

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  • In this room there are only 30% honest men. If you want him to be fully committed, then don't even think about it until you know that he is.

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  • it might work if both of them meet halfway but only for the short term.
    from a long perspective, it's not gonna work.

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  • I think if he will and can wait it will work.

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  • I honestly think it could be problematic. He wants to move at a much quicker pace than you, and won't feel totally confident or secure until that happens.

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  • I would wait until she's ready to have sex if we are in a relationship.

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  • i think it could def work

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  • 10 years age gap is a huge gap to fill and if the relationship is still in the adjusting phase, its better for the guy to give the girl a say as to having sex or not at the moment till she is ok with it.

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  • Fuck that bitch in he's arse. Let him now how it feels to be on the receiving end of things.

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  • If it's exclusive now, how long are ypu going to make him wait for it?

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  • they should meet half way, its best to talk these things out.

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  • You better give him sex or he will leave. Virginity be damned !

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  • If you can get him to wait until you're ready for sex, fine. You also need to look at his side of it, also. If he wants sex and you keep putting it off, he might decide to move on. You both need to keep communicating.

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  • I think it could work but he should wait until she's ready because she's the one in a relationship that would be giving up her virginity.

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  • won't work.

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    • he hasn't had sex in like 4 months. were in a crazy intense school program rn too so sex wouldn't even be in the picture if i wasn't with him lol

    • And you just want have sex?

  • Glass dildo solves the problem.

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    • Oh get a glass dildo beforehand and have an orgasm with it in shower. Then being with older guy is not a problem. Never use plastic dildo. They are unhygienic.

  • Is this the guy with the smaller than average penis?

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    • Also highly likely he just wants to take your virginity and have fun with you for short fling.

  • no, i dont think so

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  • It is not in fact going to work.

    These differences in age and experience do have an impact. The younger person always arrogantly thinks they can handle being younger and less experienced but it's almost always the reason it falls apart.

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    • i can handle it? i dont know what you mean. its not something im not able to handle lol sex just means more to me than it does to him

What Girls Said 8

  • What is "super experienced obv", and how do you know this about him?

    This is crucial. If "super experienced" means he's had a couple of flings but mostly sex in relationships, that's COMPLETELY different than if "super experienced" means he's slept with tons and tons of women and is ordinarily accustomed to getting dirty before there's even an exclusive rl.

    ... so yh, more details about that pl

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    • He said sex wasn't a big deal to him in college but it's gained importance to him the older he's gotten... so he slept with a decent amount of girls in college because he viewed it as more of an act then. He's been in 2 ~4 yr relationships since then so he's sexually experienced in that way too. Sexual compatibility had been missing in his previous relationship tho which is why in his head he keeps saying "everything has been going super good BUT we haven't had sex yet" - he told me that word for word yesterday. It's just this thing that keeps holding him back and stays in the back of his head

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    • "I'm a virgin... I'm guna suck the first couple times"

      ^^ nah
      Fucking isn't rocket science. Nor is it Dancing with the Stars.

      If you are ENTHUSIASTIC about sex, then, you aren't going to be "bad in bed".
      Srsly... for like 99.95 percent of boys, "bad in bed" just consists of passively lying there and expecting the boy to do all the work.

      There's no conflict between being enthusiastic and still being a bit cautious / slow-going at first (because it might hurt, or because it might just be unfamiliar).

    • Yw by the way <3

  • so you re dating a 33 year old now? :P ;)
    I think if it s worth it it will work in time.
    you need time to feel comfortable to have sex.
    and he should invest that if he think you re worth it.
    there s more than sex to get intimate with someone just saying.
    in the end both of you will reach out midway

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  • Unless he is willing to wait, they won't work. They don't sound sexually compatible.

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  • the guy should wait for her till she gets ready for it, it will work in that way

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  • How long have you been dating?

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    • That's not long. And screw those people saying "you're 23 you should've done it by now". Do it when you feel you WANT to do it. And waiting won't kill him. He was single for months. But you don't have to tell him you won't be ready next 6 months either. Be like we're gonna do it maybe tomorrow maybe next week, have that I love sex attitude but don't meet at home but just out at restaurants etc

  • if he's not willing to b exclusive with the girl then he's not what she needs to make her happy

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  • I thought this question was about me lol. except I don't want him to be so older than me. I chose obviously B.

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  • You are 23... Have sex already

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