Is this normal boyfriend behaviour?

Ok so me and my boyfriend had sex for the first time yesterday and it was really good and he was really caring about it. I think he does what he does because he cares about me but sometimes I'm not so sure... he likes to control like everything I do. He punishes me if I don't follow his rules. I'm not allowed to touch myself if it's not him because he wants to be the only person making me feel good. If I do touch myself and he finds out normally he'll try turn me on in public so that everyone knows and I can't do anything about it. So I try and wait for him but he likes to tease me when he does it. The number one rule he has is not to talk to other boys. Sometimes he would hit me if I did but I think it's out of love. I know he cares but he's really possessive and has an app on my phone to always know where I am and if I don't tell him where I am he punishes me. Is this normal?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • puppy love... darling... afrer i read "... not allowed to talk to other boys" that was it.. that is controlling behavior and no. its not normal, get out now. Insecure people are not fun to deal with in the long run.

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    • But I'm scared if i try end it he might hurt me more...

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    • @Sapioit he would because he wants me to stay with him. I just want things to go back to normal

    • Sorry girl... but @Sapioit is right... bring in other people... also, maybe you aren't a sex slave (yet) but ur a slave... his slave.
      You are acting the same way he wants you to act, he's not telling you not to talk to other boys because he "loves" you, he's telling you that because he's afraid to lose you if you get attracted to someone else. Will probably take him a while to get another girl.
      Now you are acting like him, trying to believe he is doing it because he cares... who hits someone they care about? Two of you are coherent humans, you can talk things out... but instead he hits? (anger issues).
      My girl gets on me sometimes, but i talk to her, i dont hit her. I'd only hit a bitch... so if he hits you... guess what he thinks of you...

Most Helpful Girl

  • This is abuse. This is not love. No one should ever be hitting you. You are your own person. It is healthy to masturbate and it is healthy to talk to other people. If he tells you you aren't allowed to do something then that is controlling and not okay. Hitting is never out of love. When you love someone you do not wish physical pain on them. He does not trust you and he is dangerous. You need to tell your parents and get out of that relationship immediately.

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    • Ok thank u I'll think about it. I still feel like he cares but I think I'll try and end it

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 13

  • he's dumb, and you kinda are too. but you're 15, and learning so I'll be a little nice. dump him.

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    • Um thanks? He's really sweet tho when he's not in a mood I feel like he's just trying to be like manly or something

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    • @Sapioit he just cares please believe me...

    • He might care a little. Of course, he cares, he doesn't wants to lose a possible slave...

  • First off, this is not normal behavior. Doing anything sexual that is not with your consent can get the other person in jail if other people find out about it. He should not be treating you like that at all. If you like it and are 100% fine with it, then don't do anything about it.

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    • Well I don't love it but I'm ok with it... I don't want anything bad to happen to him so I don't know what to do but thanks

  • He's a lot more psycho than he's letting on, and the deeper you become trapped with him, the less he'll have to hide it. Watch, his controlling behavior and the punishments will get worse, not better.

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  • sounds like a control freak - get out now!

    It is never ok to hit someone, and hitting folks is not a sign of love.
    This is beyond creepy.

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  • No, it's not normal. Any guy (or girl) who's possessive like that needs to have their head examined. We are no longer in the cave man days. Women (and men) are NOT property/toys. They are humans with feelings!!!

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    • Thank you I fell like maybe he just cares a lot but I'll see it into it more thanks

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    • Thank you I'll try let him know as nicely as possible :)

    • You're welcome.

  • If you're in a Dom/sub relationship, then that's normal. If you don't want to be in a D/s relationship, then it's not normal.

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  • No, that is controlling and abusive and not loving. You don't have to put up with that.

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  • No, this isn't normal, it's controlling and degrading. Why are you putting up with his behavior? If I was you I would have slapped him in the face and left.

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    • Because that might hurt him which I doubt it because I'm really weak and then he'd have hit me back harder but I wouldn't because I care I just... don't know what to do

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    • @Sapioit yes I know I know ok I'm sorry for being difficult I understand it's wrong I'll try stop it

    • Good luck!

  • nooooo.. what kinda boyfriend is that?

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    • Like he's nice to me it's only if he hits me that I'm mmm scared but I'm he means well?

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    • @Sarahbl15 he might care for you a bit, but not enough to let you talk with other guys and not enough to not hit you. So yeah, that's not love, if you ask me.

    • @Sapioit he's just possessive I think I don't know honestly but thanks

  • no that's a red flag to run

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  • abusive relationship

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  • That's just freakin weird

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    • But what if he just cares...

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    • @Sapioit I've never seen the other one but I've seen suicide squad and yes I know he like tortured her. And I want to be strong enough but I just... I do care about him and I want what's best for him and if he's happy then like... I'm happy. I just like don't know how to break it off with everyone in a good place

    • You're looking at things from the wrong perspective. He can (and will) be happy even without you. You just won't be in his life anymore. Sure, he might be sad and/or angry for a while, but being with you will keep him from getting with the right girl for him. (Which might do the same to him as he did to you, if he asks for it.)

What Girls Said 6

  • Okkkkkk... uhm... he hits you? Nonononononoooooooo

    If someone loves you, they would never hit you. I'm begging you to leave this relationship.
    You are important and deserving and by no means should anybody ever hit you.

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    • He's kind of stopped like I don't do the things that he doesn't want me to do and I can cover up the bruises I don't really mind... I'll think about leaving thanks

    • You shouldn't be controlled by a man or by anyone.
      You shouldn't live a life in fear and you sure as hell shouldn't have to cover bruises. I have seen this time and time again and if you don't get out I promise you it will only get worse

    • Ok I'll try... thank you xx

  • is your boyfriend by any chance Christian Grey?
    it's all good sweetie he's a billionaire and he won't ask you to sign a prenup, all this shit is worth it

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  • That's not ok, he sounds too controlling in my opinion. Not normal at all. Huge red flag.

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  • That's not normal at all, since you mentioned that he is controlling and hits you when you don't follow his rules that's major red flag. You can either talk to him or leave him. You are really so I can't blame you for being naive but pls find the courage to leave him.

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  • No its not normal. Unless your boyfriend is Christian Grey, this will end up like an episode of criminal minds. Stay away.

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    • He's not haha... yeah ok thank u I'll try xx

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    • Well, then why did you ask us about his behaviour, in the first place? Are you sure you weren't unconsciously/subconsciously asking for help? Instincts are the result of your brain thinking so fast your consciousness can't (fully) comprehend the data you have gathered, or you are blocking yourself from doing so (again, consciously or not).

    • @Sapioit I was going for regular abusive relationship. But the sex slave thing also makes a lot of sense.

      @Sarahbl15 I suggest you have a chat with an adult you trust, and visit a domestic violence centre. Since seeing the potential conclusion of this might push you to see a better solution.

  • Helllll nooooo

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