She's moved on with someone else, but she doesn't want me to do the same?

We broke up and months had passed. She already have someone new and I'm okay with that. We still meet each other frequently on a weekly basis due to work. I'm still single, but every time I tried to chat with someone new, it feels like she tries to ruin it somehow. At face value, we can still be friends and she would encourage me to go for it and ask someone else out. When I do talk to someone else, she'll get all quiet and be by herself at one point of the day.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • How is her going quiet trying to ruin it?

    If it's bothering you, maybe you should stop meeting with her for a while.

    I used to go out with a guy who messed me around so much, and everytime I walked away and tried to move on, there he'd be. He'd turn up to places he knew I'd be, he'd keep calling me and he'd be as sweet as anything until things were back to "normal" ... and then it would all start again.

    In the end, I stopped going to those places he used to up at for a while and stopped giving in to answering the phone.
    Once I stopped all communication with him I was able to move on. I stopped thinking about him. If I saw him in the street I'd cross over.
    I was so much happier when I started doing that.

    I've been with my current parter for three years now, and it's so different. He gave me confidence back.

    My ex and I do talk now, but there's nothing there anymore.

    It doesn't matter what this girl does or doesn't do. You can only move on when she's out of your system. Until then she'll "ruin" anything you let her.

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    • She doesn't ruin it by keeping quiet. She does it by talking to my new interest and influencing others that she's the victim. I for once, likes to keep personal relationships private and don't really share much with others. When we break up, it was quite for me at least. I don't really share much. I've already moved on. I don't feel anything for her. It's just that I have to see her due to work, but not on a daily basis.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Who cares what she thinks? Move on and leave her in the dust if she doesn't like it.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • 1. She's being petty and doesn't want you to "win" the breakup.
    2. Or she's just coping with what she knows are irrational feelings and you're reading too much into it.

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    • She always finds the opportunity to rub it in my face about how great her current boyfriend is by talking within hearing distance from me with someone else. Where else for me I tried not to reveal too much of my new interest out of respect. She does being petty and I don't wanna win anything. I guess I'm being too cool about the breakup and wanna see me breakdown or something. I feel like she tries to help me out with this new girl on one hand, but indirectly trying to set her up with someone else behind my back.

    • If you think she's just being a petty sort of person then I suggest treating her less like a friend (don't discuss more personal stuff like dating) and more like a casual work acquaintance. Is she friendly/familiar with the person you are dating or just know of her because you said it? If she doesn't know her then just avoid talking about her. If she does know/interact with her then you and the new girl need to agree to not talk about anything with the ex.

    • She does know/interact with the new girl. I guess you're right. I should talk less like a friend with her from now on. And also talk to the new girl not to discuss personal relationships with the co-workers there. Because some of the girls there might be on my ex's side and might say mean things about me just to ruin my chances in moving on.

  • Just move on from her. As long as your her friend like this you're never going to be able to move on.

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    • I did moved on from her. We 'friends' because I have to work with her from time to time but not on a daily basis. I don't that's the point of my question tho.

  • try to find girls outside of your workplace so she can't poison them with her words

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What Guys Said 1

  • Just forget her. She doesn't seem like a good person.
    You're her backup plan she'll never use

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    • She's being a little mean spirit with the break up. And I'm the one who wants the break because at one point her character is a little off which I find it to be toxic in a person.

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