I've had terrible experience with guys. I know I am part to blame because I tend to go after guys who are unnattainable or jerks. Because I'm attractive, I am asked out a lot too so I feel more pressure to go out. But I've never been successful. I'm 22 and never had a real boyfriend. So many "almosts." I've had my stupid moments of being used as well. Increasingly I've become more anxious with guys. I'm the kind of woman who once I see what I want, I go after it. I'll ask him out, I'll show interest, etc. however, my insecurities show and scare guys off. I like being in control because I want to prevent being hurt, but it's ruining things before they happen. I took a month break from dating, met a guy last week who has sparked my interest. I went out on a limb and messaged him first. He didn't respond for a few hours bc he was probably busy, yet in that time I was freaking out. Messaged my friends saying I was dooomed for life. All my past regrets and experiences came back to me, like a flood of dread. I thought he must think I'm disgusting, he won't ever respond, then further to I will never meet anyone or have success with guys, I felt nauseous and my legs were weak, and all because he didn't respond right away. Mostly because I had just been through a lot of shit with a guy for the past year and all those feelings and memories resurfaced. And before him I had a string of terrible experiences. I don't know what to do because I like this guy but I fear I will ruin it before it starts, once again like I always do.
Most Helpful Guy
From a relationship coaching lens, I can tell you that lack of confidence and clinging to past experiences are the two biggest reasons why women have unsuccessful dating habits. Until you fully find your confidence and are able to move past bad experiences, you will always be in this fold.1
Most Helpful Girl
If you constantly happen to approach jerks or unattainable, then that's not luck. Maybe there is something wrong with the way you choose your potential partners.0