Does physical attraction really matter?

I went out with this guy I met from tinder. He is really sweet and we had great conversation. I just can't tell if I'm attracted to him physically. I feel like that shouldn't be an important factor, that I should look past his appearance. Then I feel like physical attraction is important. Should I go out with him again? Please don't be rude!! I just need opinions.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • From a relationship coaching lens, let me answer emphatically that physical attraction matters. It's one of three parts of intimacy and chemistry. The other two are intellectual and emotional. You can't have a truly satisfying relationship without all three.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • A guys physical appearance initially attracts me but it's his personality that i fall for. I couldn't date a guy if I wasn't physically attracted to him , and I wouldn't continue to date him if he had a shit personality either

    Everyone sees people differently though , because I've dated a guy before and other people thought he wasn't attractive at all, but i did... and that's all that matters..

    I'd hate to be with a guy who wasn't physically attracted to me. If he told me he liked my personality but he didn't find me attractive I'd feel offended lol who wants to be with someone who doesn't feel physically attracted to them. I can't imagine many people feeling comfortable in knowing that

    To be honest, I'm sure he wouldn't want you to date him if he thought you didn't feel attracted to his physical appearance. I'd be surprised if he would be though.

    I think physical attraction , an emotional and mental connection come as a" package" . If one is missing then the relationship won't last

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 14

  • I always found "physical attraction" a somewhat misleading term, since I don't think anyone is solely attracted to someone else based on their physical shape of their body.

    Even if you're going by outward appearances, how a person smiles, their demeanor, body language, posture, sound of their voice, etc. all forms impressions of who they are as a person and whether or not we're sexually attracted to that impression.

    Even physical shape alone, like if we took an expressionless mug shot of a person and tried to conceal their outward personality characteristics as much as possible, tends to give us some information about a person's dietary and lifestyle choices.

    So I prefer to just use "sexual attraction". And if you have no sexual attraction towards another person whatsoever, I don't see much point in dating them as opposed to just being friends.

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  • it does matter. To me it one of those things that if I am unsure if I am physically attracted to them, the more I I find out that I like them personally the more attractive they become.

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  • Yes it does. That's the first stage, second and most important stage is the personality. If he's not attractive to you, just move on. If you think his looks is "passable" and would still date or potentially more, then cool. Keep on going out with him. If not, move on. Dont lead him on and waste both of your time while you could've used that time maybe for another guy.

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  • I used to think that it didn't matter, but it really does. A good physical form indicates physical health, which often (but not always) indicates mental health. However, don't limit yourself on what's generally accepted as beautiful. Sometimes, when you really love someone and get to know them well, they become physically attractive in your mind. When your start to notice new things about their personality, it starts to show on their physical form.

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  • Ok without being "rude", yes, looks matter, its a simple want to be attracted to your future mate weather it be phyically or emothonally

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  • I say it matters a lot! If it doesn't for you, it's ok. But don't force yourself to overlook physical attraction just because you may be acused of being shallow.

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  • yeah but personality matters more

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  • I think it does

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  • I think physical attraction is important, however if you feel attracted then stay with him

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  • a little bit.

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  • if you are sexual it sure does

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  • It's the most important thing

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  • Yes it does anybody saying it doesn't is lying, now people have different standards of beauty and what they consider ugly, but still physical attraction matters.

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  • It's kind of two things:

    - does the idea of sex with them appeal a lot?
    - would you feel content with them and not like you're missing out?

    if the answer to either is 'no', move on.

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What Girls Said 14

  • Yes, it's important. Is it the only thing that matters? Of course not.

    But if you don't think you'd be able to have sex with them, then that's a problem as sex shouldn't feel like a "chore". I know you're not having sex yet but if the relationship got to that point, would the thought of it displease you?

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  • Date someone who you find attractive. Why not. If you dont find the guy attractive at first sight there is a possibility that he can grow on you. But do what makes you happy and comfortable with.

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  • Physical attraction IS important. When you like someone and there's no physical attraction, that's called a friendship. You're not a bad person for wanting to be with someone you're attracted to, that's obviously a vital part of any romantic relationship.

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  • physical attraction does matter, but it's only one piece of a much more complex puzzle.

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  • give it time
    sometimes you get attracted to the dude when you start liking him.
    but don t drag it too long

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  • Yes obviously!

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  • yes, but be careful. if you just want something casual and you make it clear to him it's okay if it's only physical

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  • Yes.

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  • Yes, that's the difference between friend and boyfriend material.

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  • As shallow as it sounds.. personally to me, yes it does.

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  • Hell yeah it does!

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  • it matters for me

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  • To some extent

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  • Yes it does. It's very important.

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