Do you believe in "the one"?

Do you believe that there is one person out there for you searching for you also or do you believe that many people can meet your standards? It was said 73% of the population (U. S) believes in "the one" and majority are men apparently

  • "The One" is out there!
    Vote A
  • No I dont believe it
    Vote B
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Guy

  • There are many "ones" for us all. No such thing as just ONE. Mother Nature would never get what she wants if that were the case!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Nope, I actually don't.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 57

  • From a relationship coaching lens, the concept of 'the one', while romantic, is false and dangerous. Why?

    It implies that our needs are so distinct that only one person in the world can truly meet them.

    It implies that if only person can meet them and they are taken that we are shit out of luck or that we'Lloyd forever be settling for someone other than the one.

    When we think we've found the one, we hold onto them with all might, regardless of how they treat us

    We actually, at times, disregard our needs out of feeling that they're less important than the feeling that comes from meeting 'the one'

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    • I know where your coming from. Had that feeling of meeting "the one" that I too also disregarded my needs and thoughts. However learnt overtime that I should not push aside my needs but rather find someone who meets them. Which led to the conclusion that there are multiple people out there who do, as I've met them before.

      Anyway sorry about the ramble but great summary! Totally agree with majority of what was said! :)

    • Nothing to be sorry about at all. You obvious have a clearer head than most.

  • It's all just hormones, just the results of hormones. Thus concepts like "the one" are all BUT delusions, at least for those of us that are aware of those desires being nothing more than chemical reactions in our bodies and brains.

    But I get why some people would hold onto it and believe in something like this, a concept such as "the one", because it's just like another form of coping mechanism, because they rather believe in it as it would make them feel comfy, so they hang onto something like it emotionally.

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  • I was first going to say yes because I have found my "one". However, upon further contemplation, I have decided that I don't believe in the "one". The reason for this is that I can't possibly know whether my fiancé is the only girl in the world who fits so perfectly to me. It could be... but it could also be that there are a few other girls who would also meet all relevant the criteria. I am certainly a very picky guy but then again, there are 3.5 billion women on this planet, of which at least 500 million are within my age range (probably even more). That's A LOT of girls to choose from. And even if there's only 5-6 out of all these women who would fit to me 100%, that would still be enough to refute the idea of "the one".
    In the end, I'll assume an agnostic atheist attitude for this question. Without knowing every single woman in the world, I simply can't know and can't make an informed statement. However, I lack belief that out of hundreds of millions of women, there's somehow only one that fits so well to me.

    It's not the most romantic opinion I admit but the most rational, I believe.

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  • There's no such thing.

    Imagine you're in a pizza store and you have to choose a pizza. How do you choose "the one"? If you like pizza you'll probably like all of them. Even after trying every single pizza on the menu you'll have more than 1 favourite. It's the same with dating. Each of us has different qualities, but in the end of the day we are just humans, and that's what we need, another human.

    PS, the pineapple ham human is the forever alone one.

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    • I love your analogy 😂😂😂 However there can be weird people out there who only eat one kind of pizza and that is it.

      P. S I am the pineapple ham person 🙈

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    • You crack me up hahah can I at least be a cheesy side?

    • Sorry but was that suppose to be a pun? 😂
      Of course... cause your too cheesy with your jokes

  • In life, we are always waiting for something. We are either waiting to meet the right person, waiting for a dream to come true, or waiting for that job callback. When we’re unhappy with our current situation, we irrationally hope for a miracle that will help us to cope with all our problems.
    But the truth is that life doesn’t work that way. Problems cannot be solved with a magic wand. If you want to make a change in your life and be more than you’ve been, you have to be the one that takes the steps towards your goals.
    The strongest people know this simple truth: when times get tough, you don’t need to wait for someone to help or do something for you — you should rely only on yourself.

    People tend to accept a lifestyle that they aren’t totally content with, when in reality they can change their life in whichever way they please.

    You see when you take responsibility for your life you can change any aspect of it because you are the one at the controls.

    Therefore if you don’t like certain aspects of your life, make a change. Whether that be losing weight or getting rid of negative influences.

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  • Thankfully my dad burst that mental bubble for me when I was 13 and my life experience proved it correct. There's a million "the ones" and which ones you meet are entirely dependent upon the life choices you make.

    It's not that people aren't unique. Most people are very unique. But your uniqueness meshes better with certain unique qualities in specific people. That's why people can love again after a breakup. There are more fish in the sea, even if you don't emotionally feel comfortable with them right now.

    So it's factually incorrect that there is literally only one. But it is true there are people out there who will invoke those emotions inside of you.

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  • I do but I see every girl as a potential "one". Meaning every girl has a chance. It's up to the couple to keep the relationship going. Just cause you "click" for a couple of years doesn't mean you've found the "one". You see it all the time where couples break up and you're like WTF happened.

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  • Yes. I do believe in the one.

    People look at life differently, observe and approach differently. Many of the situations that individuals face might not work for the person standing next to them.

    But for me personally, i believe everyone have an other half. The fault of failures and complications regarding this subject is on people themselves. I believe the more you search, the less you find. Most of people are victims of their own wrong calls. The series of inappropriate decisions and impatient behaviors. The majority of people follow the road to find someone special while they can't even identify the nature and the meaning of love. The confusion between love and lust. The instinct of lust misguide individuals. Their curiosity and impatient involvements improves the whole process.

    To me, the relationship is not a goal. The purpose of life defines within who we are? Who we want to become? Where we are in life? Where do we want to go? finding ourselves, creating ourselves, declaring our life's road. Aim and purposes. Milestones to break. A look to the future. Future of our existence and where we want to stand and make a mark. Sometimes it's a very extended challenge. But i believe if you don't have a life you can't have a successful relationship. Or it would be struggling. One piece of puzzle is missing beside identifying the nature of our emotions. Despite the fact sometimes finding our way aligns with having our partner. But if you can't understand yourself, you wouldn't be able to understand someone else either. If you don't know who you are and where you wanna go, there is no way to understand someone else's desires. You reach your inner-self. Then you get into a relationship and share each other's lives and paths and continue to the road together.

    Do i believe in the one?
    As i have said, yes i do. I have found mine very soon. She's my heart, soul, spirit and breath. How do i know it's true? well, how do you know your heart is beating in your chest? Is it possible to fall in love again-with someone else? maybe. But i am sure of something. No one is above her and her place in my heart is unreachable. 2012-Present.

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  • Hillarious - and the women here are dreamers.
    There simply is no 'ONE". It's call one-itis and as soon as you have NO options then you SETTLE and guess what? Your picker is broken cuz this guy or gal you picked is a f'd up mess.
    No guy worth a damn wants to be in a place with no options. And as soon as a woman thinks he has no options she thinks she can control him. Or weaponize sex. Or set him up to be her plowhorse.

    No, there's a reason it's called 'DATING' - so you have an opportunity to see if it's a match or not. Sometimes it's not, sometimes there's reasons to choose what you choose. But if you have no experience then you're just shooting in the wind.

    Any couples that have any assetts they're bringing into a marriage needs to have a pre-nup as well. It protects both parties. A marriage is a legally binding instrument. :)

    My "ONE" turned out to be a worthless cu*t - that divorce cost be $485K.
    The second "ONE" cheated. Twice.

    There is no such thing as a 'ONE".

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    • You have a very pessimistic view about it!
      The ones here on gag are the more loyal girls, whereas the girls who choose to waste time at the clubs are the ones your talking about, the "cheaters"
      And Im very sorry to hear about your divorce; sounds quite displeasing

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    • @Imhotep99 - right... choose wisely, treat kindly. :)

      I felt bad for dumping her and the kids, did remain a dad and paid support 'till they were 18. We had a sizeable net worth but she got most of it. I just wanted out. So I put her up in a regular house and sold the mansion we had just built. She was more sore about losing the house than her husband. Several cars, a 40' sailing yacht, a few houses. I was done with her bullshit. And I had found someone new - been with her now for almost thirty years. She's no angel, but way far ahead of the first one, and way prettier too. The kids are all grown and gone, successful and well adjusted adults. Everything works out in the end.

    • therationalmale.com/2011/08/30/there-is-no-one/
      A good blog post on why there is no 'ONE'. Worth a read for both genders although it is directed at guys.
      Comes under the same guise as 'soulmate' - what a dreamy bunch of bullshit. :)
      An LTR is definitely not 'soulmate' or 'the one' once NRE wears off. Like I say, there better be something more there to sustain the relationship. This where character, charisma, leadership, all come into play. For women it's making sure their man's basic needs are fulfilled. If either party fails at these basic tenets the relationship will falter, become stale, one or both parties will shut down to the other, and the either limp along for years remaining unhappy, or one or both will bail. Or have an affair - that seems as popular as ever these days.

  • I believe there is more than one. You just need the right timing and the right attitude to find the one that's right for you at the right moment.

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  • Don't necessarily believe in the "soulmate" idea. There is a range of people with the qualities you desire in varying quantities. Any of these people would be satisfactory for a lifetime mate.
    On the other hand the longer I live with my wife, the more I realize that the range is probably a lot smaller than I originally thought. There are probably few people who would value the qualities of my wife like I do and even fewer who could put up with me.

    The biggest problem with the "the one" theory is:
    Some people marry and then encounter the usual difficulties and suddenly they are wondering if they missed "the one". I mean..."the one" wouldn't leave the toilet seat up, right? They may well be with "the one", but they are enamored with some impractical ideal.

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  • With regard to whatever objects give you delight, are useful, or are deeply loved, remember to tell yourself of what general nature they are, beginning from the most insignificant things. If, for example, you are fond of a specific ceramic cup, remind yourself that it is only ceramic cups in general of which you are fond. Then, if it breaks, you will not be disturbed. If you kiss your child, or your wife, say that you only kiss things which are human, and thus you will not be disturbed if either of them dies.

    - Epictetus

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  • Kinda Yes kinda No.. Not in the "there is one person out there perfect for you" kind of way though.

    I think you can build that kind of connection with someone but not with everyone or not even with most people. But if you do build that kind of connection with someone and they work to do the same with you then I guess you have "found the one" right? and if you do you're probably not looking for "the second one" so for most people it really would be "the one"

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  • I don't know if I believe that my "soulmate" is out there but that "a person" out there is the right one to match up to what I want for myself.

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  • When I first started dating I believed there was someone out there who I could get along with. Not "The One", but "The Good Enough".
    Then I met my now wife. From our first date I knew she was something special. My perfect match.
    So although O didn't originally, I now believe in "The One ".

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  • No. That's why I try to keep an open mind about relationships: my standards aren't low either, but more realistic, considering I'm not waiting for one specific person.

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  • In olden days people used to believe in one and only one. But the reality is that they end up getting three in a life time.

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  • there's 7.3 billion people. There have been, what, 40 billion humans total? there will probably be 200-300 billion before we go extinct.

    That's not including the high chance of other intelligent life in the universe that may very well be more or less humanoid.

    All that adds up.. so no. I can't say I believe in a One and Only.

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  • Well, I hope so, but I'm not sure.

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  • How could I not? I saw him save Morpheus against all odds AND kill an agent, which only the one could do.

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  • I believed...20 years ago.. now Im just bitter

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  • Yeah I do... love at first sight is too beautiful not to believe in it :D

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    • What's beautiful about claiming you love a person just by looking at their appearance? That's extremely shallow in my opinion and turns love into something tacky, disposable and unserious.

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    • Because love at first sight is literally claiming you love someone *at first sight*. Implying you haven't even talked to them, only seen them. Plus, I don't think clicking with someone quickly can be called love either. Love is something that grows over time.

    • @lumos to some degree I agree... and the "at first sight" can be taken literally or interpreted as "the first time you met".
      And of course, the love has to grow. Many relationships that looked like a dream on the first day eventually go bust when people really learn to know each other.
      Let's compromise by saying love at first sight is rare :D

  • Some do and some don't. I don't think everybody gets them. That is, everybody gets their chance, but no body grabs it... I see it as a one time deal, if you don\t grab it, then you missed it... forever!

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  • No, I don't.

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  • I thought Neo in the matrix was an okay movie, joke aside yea though it won't mean they are perfect.

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  • Yes I do

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  • Yes. Many people could meet your standards but still I think you can find "the one"

    I like ur new pfp by the way :)

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  • I think there coud be "the one" or at least someone who we think is "the one" for us at the time or maybe it happens with another person. Had it happen to me years ago when I was in my 20's.

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What Girls Said 33

  • There is no ready made person, customized just for you. If you do find someone who agrees w/ you on everything and who always puts your desires before theirs, the correct term is "doormat". Now, I do believe in an almost perfect compatibility where 2 people ultimately improve one another's existence through love and teamwork. But what people fail to realize is that those "goals" relationships come out of a lot of sacrifices, challenges, trust, self-improvements, compromises, appreciation, and communication from both parties. A great relationship is what you and your S/O make it. You can't just sit around expecting your "soulmate" to drop from the heavens.

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  • I just wanted to share my thoughts about this.
    Anybody can meet as many people they want. But that "the one" is someone you love and that person loves you back and is willing to be with you forever and never gonna leave you, for me that person is "the one." "The one" that does not leave you, give up, and let troubles just move on to them. A relationship is about loving one another, having a companion, trust, etc. When there is a problem then fix it and don't just argue about it. Talk it out and fix it. If the relationship is not working out, then why keep it. If y'all love one another and don't want to lose each other, then why break up. Is it for the best? Will it not be a regretting decision? Always have a second or more thoughts because you never know as long as you try.

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  • I don't believe that there's only a single person in the whole world who is the perfect match for you. I believe there are several "the one"s out there - people who you connect with so well you could be classified as soulmates. They might be in Djibouti though or something.

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  • I'm not sure what I believe really. I believe "The One" is the person you'll spend the rest of your life with because the timing is right. I believe that if you've been in a relationship with someone and you break up due to distance or other external factors then they could have also been the one except the timing wasn't right, if that makes any sense?

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    • But if timing was wrong and you found another person who was ready for a relationship that means there is more than "one person".
      I know your definition of the one means that you will spend the rest of your life with them so thats means you dont believe it?

    • Ya I guess I believe that there can be more than "one person". It's just right timing that dictates which one you end up spending the rest of your life with.

  • I wish it was true, but not really. People have their own beliefs and issues always, so even if we clicked that doesn't mean that's the real guy. Makes me wonder what really makes you 'connect' with soemone, like what that really is.

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    • I often wonder that myself. Never really "clicked" with just anyone, it took time to actually connect with someone. Everyone has barriers around themselves, not like anyone is willing to let that down for just anyone

  • I used to believe in "the one", but the way my life turned out lately... its been quite unfortunate with potential male partners in my life. the ones that want me I dont care for and the ones I want, they dont pay attention to me. Lets just say I gave up...

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  • No, I don't. I believe that obviously there are people we're more suited to be with than others but I don't believe there is anyone that's perfect for you or that you have one ideal lover.

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  • I believe we have soul mates with whom we are perfectly matched with, so kinda the same thing but I don't think there's just one.

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  • "The one" is a bullshit concept perpetuated by bullshit Hollywood movies. There are a lot of people you can get along with and fall for. Just like you can have more than one friend, you can also find many people you can fall in love with.

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  • Sometimes it's not down to us. Sometimes about about time and place. There are too many factors stopping us in our paths to just have one right person.

    That one right person may also be someone else's right person. That one you feel is your right person may not feel your their right person. And let's not talk about meeting mr or mrs and the wrong time...

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  • I don't believe "The One" equated to the person you marry or spend the last portion of your life with. To be honest, that could be anyone. You could commit the action of legally marrying and engaging in a long term relation with a person. But it doesn't mean they are the one. I think you can meet "The One" at any time of your life, even if mistakes are made and they are not the one you end up with. They impact your life the most and make you a better person, it's the type of person you dream about and are forever grateful for. I don't know, hard to explain. They just touch your heart in a special way.

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  • I'm an other... I believe there is a one mostly.
    But I believe there are ones for different times in your life. Till you're ready for the last one

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  • I don't think there is somebody that you HAVE to be with unless your life is unique like that but if you are meant to date - you will find somebody who is right for you and most of the time there will be more than one person who fits the bill.

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  • Of course I do but I believe a little different I follow the Hebrew calander like I celebrate the feast of the tabernacle and Passover and the sabbath. but I don't celebrate Christmas of Easter this r paigen holidays like Christmas has a lot of paigan rites to it but they r discized and Easter is tecknecly a day of orgys like the animals they use are the most productive animals the chicken lays eggs everyday and the rabbit well u can see the point I'm making if you are interested in learning more about this then go to my church the Nobel learning center in cove , I think it will help u and PS. don't comment on my missed spelled words sorry for that

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  • Yes I do

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  • It's a sweet notion...

    Mostly, you just have to be two people that are willing to stick together through it all.

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  • No I don't , there are more people who are right for a specific moment in your life , but yeah

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  • yes!

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  • Yeah.

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  • If there is "the one", I think I broke up with mine, and should settle for only "good enough" ones.

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  • I want to believe this...

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    • Whys that if you dont mind me asking?

    • I have been in only 2 relationships that failed miserably. I really want to believe that is someone out there, only for me... it would be a calming thought. I have moments when I am trying to convince myself that I will find someone and moments when I am convinced that I would never be in a long term relationship...
      Although, I met someone different recently... I hope it will work well this time.

    • Naw shouldn't think like that! What if "the one" was already married? There are always more than one person for anyone!

  • I believe in soulmates but I believe there's more than one out there for everyone.

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  • I found my "one".

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  • I think you could potentially end up with a lot of people and be "ok" compatibility wise, but then there's that once-in-a-lifetime love that's the game changer.

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  • I want to belive it... but i don't.

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  • I used to believe in "True Love" and also finding "The One" but I'm slowly losing faith in love altogether.

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  • Nope. There are as many ones as I want :)
    I've already met 3 of them and I am sure there will be more of them.

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  • Yes i believe in it :)

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  • I dont even like the ides of the one because I don't want to place my happiness on someone that may or may not exist.

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  • Someone once came very close of being the one.

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