How can I overcome the fear of losing someone?

So I have developed this fear overtime as relationships in my past were short term and other guys I was dating just up and lost interest and no longer texted me... The ending of my past relationships weren't really my fault.. But I feel like I can't hold a guy down because nothing has been long term in the past for me. I always feel like nothing will last at least with the guys that I actually do like. I don't let this bad perception get to me when we are out, but I find this question haunting me in daily life. I just wonder why? I'm nice, caring, smart, intellectual, funny sometimes, etc...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • From a relationship coaching lens, a couple things to think about.

    1) What type of guys are you attracted to? Are there similar personality traits that they all exude?

    2) How quickly do you go into sex and how quickly after sex do things end?

    I'm not asking you to answer these here but there could very well be a correlation between these answers and your bad luck.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't know, I have a fear of losing someone too. But I just have to remind myself that no one is supposed to always be in your life, whether it is them walking away or death, it doesn't matter

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What Guys Said 17

  • Here is a good video that might help you.

    start at the 4:45 mark or i suggest watch the entire video. It's really good.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCfthlQsThc&t=291s

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  • sounds like you making the wrong choices in men. it's okay since everyone makes mistakes and I have also made mistakes in choosing the girl for me.
    you can just work on yourself and ask what you currently want in a guy and start find those qualities instead of initial attraction.

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    • Well said. Also don't let this fear stop you from meeting or perusing guys. It's hard to find "good" relationships that will last, that's why so many people are single. You're not alone. Give it time and don't blame yourself.

    • @GingerGuy
      Thank you! I appreciate the advice.

  • No relationships are ever guaranteed to absolutely last forever no matter what. We all only have so much control in what happens in our lives and what goes on around us.

    Instead, just embrace it and enjoy whatever time you can and whatever time that might be left in the relationship. Loss is unavoidable either way.

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  • It probably goes all of the way back to your childhood or the relationships you had in your family. I see it from a Psychodynamic approach. To overcome the fear you will need to ''go back to your childhood''.

    Guided meditation and getting more in touch with your higher self is another option.

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  • Mainly by dating men who you choose based on their personality level of loyalty.

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  • You are young and pretty you shouldn't worry about things lasting forever , when you are young is when you are suppose to meet different people and what's suppose to happen does, if your relationships ships in the past didn't work it's because it wasn't suppose to be. Don't try so hard to hold on , when you hold someone too tight they feel restricted and want to leave.. Us guys are funny too , once we know we have someone it's like the challange is over , unless it's the right person that completes us and we stay.. so my advice is just go with the flow , don't fall so hard at first and the right guy for you will stay , they will appreciate a beautiful young lady and stay.. good luck..

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  • Unfortunately all the advice from that will be directed at you does not work, Time is the only cure and it varies from person to person. Good luck and don't forget to live life not watch it.

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    • I always live life. I just get scared at times to let men in...

    • and yes it is scary but you. have 3 choices jump in and hope, do nothing ever again or use the experiences that you and people you trust have collected and approach all of your life with a confidence that you are prepared and organised for whatever life throws at you

  • Well one if thats your pic you're very beautiful so they be fucking nuts to lose interest! It may not be your fault so dont blame yourself. You sound like a good mix of stuff in a woman and I approve, maybe its the type of guy you've just been running into lately give it time.

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  • I have this fear to
    thats why im not with anyone

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  • Nothing is permanent. It's ok to have that fear but it should not overpower you and weaken you so much that you stop being in a relationship. Always believe that if someone goes out of your life, someone even better will come.

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  • I sometimes have it too. Its just because the people before werent as serious. When you meet someone serious, those toughts will go away

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  • get used to it kill everybody

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  • I have this fear that I won't get laid until I'm 40.

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  • stop being so emotional

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  • accept that it's a part of life. people leave

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  • You seem pretty young, why not just have fun with different guys? You are not expected to get married and last forever do you?

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  • lose them

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