Why after arguments, does my boyfriend attempt to make me feel bad?

Every once in a while, my boyfriend and I get into an argument. We both talk it out and try to come to a solution/compromise, and I assume things are okay between us.

However, if we see each other a few hours after the argument, he had this really strange attitude with me. He seems distant and sometimes takes emotional stabs at me and makes me feel badly.

When i see him, I try and act positively towards him and let the argument go. But, sometimes he can really make me feel badly, especially because he act so passive-aggressively.

I'm not sure if it's because his ego is damaged a little bit, or he's really not over the argument or feels weird towards me after.

But, I just know I'm left feeling small and hurt, and there's a lot of tension and I just feel stupid and unloved in these instances.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You intimidated him and threatened his ego. He takes arguments in a very personal way. You're dealing with someone who is emotionally immature.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Because he's a little shit who has no respect for you.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Because he doesn't have enough respect for you to treat you like the person you are.

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  • because your boyfriend is a fucking cuck that doesn't know how to respect women such as yourself and feels the need to take you down to make himself seem better

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    • I'd leave that asshole if I were you, you deserve better. you deserve a real man

    • I mean. I understand he is upset. But, when I see him, he's just so passive aggressive and displays this "I'm better than you" kind of attitude. And he seems totally disinterested in me romantically.

      Then after a while, I guess he lets it go. And he isn't so mean to me. But for those moments that he makes me feel Inferior, I want to cry.

      he isn't a bad guy, he's very kind. But, I guess when he's hurt he turns into a jerk.

    • he needs to get over himself, if he let's his anger get the best of him he's just going to abuse you with words, it's all the same as physical abuse. he isn't suited to be in a relationship right now

  • Your boyfriend might be cheating.

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  • First of all he's trying his best to keep up with your level but all these games you have are going up against him. What do you expect him to do?

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What Girls Said 1

  • I don't lash out at my husband like that - but it takes me some time to get over an argument. I don't just go back to happy and chirpy, my feelings were hurt or I acted like an asshole and I need awhile before that changes.
    When he tries to act like it's all good or gets mad I'm not perked back up it frustrates me so we just give each other space

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    • I'm not saying I act like everything is 100% okay, but I don't take subtle stabs at him, or try and make him feel bad after we chose to make up. I try and let it go and treat him with respect and decency and try to move on from it.

      I am still a little hurt and distraught from the argument, but, what upsets me is he will try and break me down, or attempt to remind me me he has other options, or is desirable, or make me feel lesser than.

    • I haven't said that you say anything - I've said that in my relationship after an argument it FEELS like he tries to act like it's good and I'm just not past it yet and struggle to behave or talk like I am. That's not to say he isn't feeling the same way and just trying to power through it.
      Talk to him and see if he feels the same way - if he needs some space after them so he doesn't say crappy things like he is then give it to him. If he can't see anything wrong with his behaviour (because it IS wrong!) then there are bigger problems with the relationship. No one should ever speak to you like that least of all your partner

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