Help? I'm at a loss?

Oh dear god!
Im getting to the end of my rope
I've been dating this guy for 2 months and he is asking me to move in
I've explained that it's to quick for me personally and he just goes in a bad mood.
I just met his parents and he is yet to meet mine as there been a few problems in my family and I'd rather that settle down before he meets them. But apparently I'm just taking forever... and I'm not taking things serious
i used to stay at his 4 days a week but I need time for me so I suggested 4 one week an 3 the next just so I can switch it up an have time to relax and do things that I need. I also work part time so need time to relax from that but he just doesn't get it. He doesn't work and is pretty lazy. I foun out from his family he has lost all his jobs from "being sick" I'm worried that he might be trying to get me to move in for my money. I know he only stayed with an ex for her money so I'm worried this is what is happening to me. I've lent him over 200 already so it's not a thought that's going away.
He always acts like a little brat. And I'm getting to the end of my rope!
I'm not in a relationship to financially support someone who doesn't respect my need to time alone and doesn't respect family boundaries. I don't know if he's just with me now for my money or not.


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • "Doesn't work and is lazy" Say no more! Deal breaker!


What Girls Said 2

  • This is a no brainer for me.
    I would not be giving (no lending here because he doesn't have a job to repay that "loan") anyone money that I've only known for 2 months.
    Sit down and ask him to work out a financial budget regarding bills and see how he reacts.
    From what you've written, I'd swerve as he doesn't seem ambitious, eager to find new work and is borrowing money off you with no job.

    • I was worried about gettin it back so in my mind it's already gone. But it was let him borrow it or he gets kicked out his house and he refused help... I've worked that out so he has 170 left his month and if he wastes it that's his problem. I told him 200 was the limit. He lost his first job this year because of Calling in sick they said it was okay but apparently it wasn't. Then he got another job which he called in sick once for hurtin his back he went in and complained the whole day so they sent him home the second time hey called in with the flu and they said he had to come in when he went it they told him he was getting his notice and he could work the day if he wanted. Since then he hast heard back from any job he had applied for

    • Red flags all over it.
      Everything too soon - money, moving in together, not doing things quickly enough.
      Nah, not for me. He would at least need to have a job and/or seriously looking for one.
      I think he would always be your problem or bring problems to the relationship.
      He needs to decide what he wants to do and take some responsibility for his life.

    • I'm deffo not moving in with him. No way! He got over 600 from his ex and even said to me he refused to leave her as she was what was keeping him alive... Sounds familiar. He just plays games all day. I don't want to give him the ultimate of find a job within ---- or I'm gone but I might have to. I'm not his personal overdraft and I feel used.

  • Sounds like he is with you for the money. 2 months is a bit too soon to ask someone to move in with them. If something doesn't feel right with him I would just cut off all contact with him whatsoever. He sounds like he does not respect your boundaries whatsoever and only wants you to move in so you can support him. You are your own person he should be working as well and supporting his self as well. All and all if I were you or in your shoes I would just cut off contact wit him immediately. Don't let someone use you for your money. Best of luck and take care.

    • Thanks. I thought as much.
      I got suspicious when he said about me taking him to the movies an a meal I was like yeah cool cheap movie and meal but his plan was a day out costing me 150 (rude) that's 3 shifts worth. Then asking for money for gas an bills for his house after that... Was like erm am I just your bank account or what

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