Why the first love is the strongest of all?

I had my first love when I was 16. Now I'm 23 and I don't like him anymore but I have this big crush on him, even if I know he only see me as a friend nowadays. Also, after him I had 2 boyfriends but never loved they like I loved my first love.
I know that it's not a rule, but it seems that most people think their first love were the strongest.
Is it possible to feel that strong love again?


Most Helpful Guy

  • From a relationship coaching lens, most people do not see their first love as the strongest, just the most special.
    The fact is, when you experience love for the first time, you are smitten, beside yourself, etc. And it's real to you, even if/as others are calling you silly and crazy. You remember the kiss, the sex, the fights, the make-ups and break-ups.
    As you move on, however, and the kissing, sex, fights, etc. become more common, they're not as memorable.
    To your last question, feeling love that strong again is not only possible but it's also likely. Why? Because the more we love and break-up and love again, the more mature we get with our needs, how we deal with love issues, etc. Eventually we find someone that really knocks our socks off and we know better now how to have a real-ationships with them, challenges and all. This is the good stuff.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I guess it depends if your new relationships can bring something new to the table that wasn't there before. I can definitely love more deeply then I have in the past because there were things missing in the guys I used to love


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What Guys Said 2

  • I think it simply feels that way because it happens at a period in our lives where were at our most impressionable- everything seems like do or die.

    I tend to believe first loves are often the weakest.

    • "I tend to believe first loves are often the weakest."

      ^^ Yep.
      Not only the "impressionable" part, but, also, there just isn't anything to compare it to.

      By definition, yr FIRST ____ is always going to be the strongest ____ for at least some period of time -- regardless of what's in the blank. If enough time passes for those wistful nostalgic memories to form, then, that's where people get this distorted idea that "first love" was actually so wonderful.
      We tend to remember **almost everything** in much more positive terms than we actually lived it. (Hence the phrase "good old days" for times that most certainly weren't, for the most part. And the tendency to think of childhood in idyllic terms, even for people whose childhood sucked.)

  • That's the thing we aren't the same after are first love. Ether its your horoscope or its you can't move on. Don't compare anybody to them.


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