Dating a Girl in the Military for the First Time, is She Still Into Me?

Hey everyone, sorry in advance for the novel. It's my first post... Thanks for reading and any insight you can share.

I'm a military officer, recently met this girl back in Dec, also a military officer in a different branch. We hit it off really well, from kissing on the second date, going over to each other's places, sleeping together, going on an overnight trip to the city, very affectionate. I even gave her something personal of mine for good luck and she accepted it. It's been great! She seemed so into me.. until about two weeks leading up to her leaving for a three month exercise in the pacific.

In that time she had family over and also had to get ready to leave so I understood her needing some time to herself, but the week before she left I didn't hear back from her for 5 days. I finally sent her a message asking if she wasn't interested anymore and to just be straight with me. She texted the next day explaining that between work and friends she had no down time, but that she should have texted more and apologized. She said she doesn't quite know where this is going either but that she wouldn't just ghost me and leave me hanging, "if I don't want to continue things, I'll let you know". She invited me to lunch the next day, saying that she'd love to see me. We talked, kissed goodbye since she was leaving that week. Since then, I've heard nothing from her... I sent her a message for Valentine's Day, and no response. She posts to Snapchat every once in awhile when she gets internet, but other than that nothing much.

A lot of my female friends say I'm overthinking this and that she's just focused and busy. All I know is that I'm crazy about this girl, and things just don't add up. It wouldn't make sense for all this good stuff to happen, and then for her to drop it when she left when she had the perfect opportunity to end it beforehand.

Anyway, can y'all help me shed some light on this? What did I do wrong? Can I fix it?


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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • First off, you didn't do anything wrong. I'm sure she was being honest to you when she told you work, business, no internet... You know how it is, you're in the military as well. Just keep reaching out to her letting her know that you are still here for her. Everything is gunna be ok😊

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    • I want to believe that, the only problem is I see her post stuff to Snapchat or once in a while liking something on Facebook. She also read my V-day message... so you think that's still the case?

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    • In my short life I've learned that there can definitely be harm in asking... I just don't understand how someone can go from hot to cold

    • But if you don't ask, you will be left in the place you're at, wondering what happened. If you ask, it can provide you some sort of peace.
      As for the hot/cold thing, some people are just like that.

What Guys Said 2

  • She gave you her answer, she has no time for you. The statement "between work and friends she had no down time" tells men that you are NOT a priority with her. When I was your age and one of my buddies got a girlfriend, we expected him to spend time with her instead of us. MOVE ON.
    I'm and Air Force Veteran. Divorce and infidelity are rampant. The Article below describes infidelity as epidemic. In my Church is an Army Veteran. He was a Provost Officer. He confirmed just how bad adultery was and had no shortage of shocking stories.

    My advice to you is to STAY SINGLE and expect women to cheat on you! Yes, its that bad.

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  • You do know people in the military cheat all the time right?

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    • comon really
      off with the stereotype again lmao

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    • @Ali55sven Lol you do you. Most of them do cheat though

    • I'm in the military and I don't cheat.

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